My Terrible, Very Bad, Rotten, No Good Day
It was a rotten day filled with fixing other peoples mistakes and omissions and still trying to meet deadlines. That was just the beginning of it. Driving home, I noticed a freaking burning kink in my neck from stress. all I could think about was going home to take a nice bath and reading.
I get home, turn on the bathtub to fill it up, then go into the kitchen. In the kitchen I notice this giant puddle of brown battery-acidy substance coming from under our month-old fridge. ARgh... our new fridge! I open the fridge and it takes me a while to trace where its coming from, but it turns out its not what I thought it was at all, but organic 100% real maple syrup. everywhere.
its in all the side trays where the condiments are, all over the condiments, all the way down the side, and leaking out from the bottom, congregating to the giant pool under the fridge. I go to the bathroom and turn off the bath. This is going to take a while to clean up.
I start cleaning. I don't have paper towels, because I'm trying to save the earth. So I use these lemon-scented wipes (which are probably way worse for the planet). I use the whole container, all 40 of them. I alternate between a sponge, absorbing all the syrup up, wringing it out , and then using the lemon-scented wipe to get the last of it up. I clean all the condiments. I get as much of the giant puddle underneath the fridge cleaned up with the sponge. When Jared comes home I'll have him help me get whatever syrupy mess is underneath the fridge (when he comes home he just lifts the whole refrigerator up from the bottom ....what? who can just lift up fridges? he's insane).
The whole time I'm cleaning, I'm cursing Canada because this is obviously their fault. Canada and their maple syrup. I'm cursing the stupid syrup lid on the giant Trader Joe's syrup container. It says no-drip, no-mess, or some nonsense like that on the label and it pisses me off. Just a few months ago I was the praising the design, because in reality it is usually pretty cool, but now it is evil. it is the devil. canada is the devil. Do you know that Canada has a holiday called family day? Yeah I heard they created just because it was too long of a period from New YEars to the next holiday so they just made up a new holiday. freaking family day. stupid canada and its made-up holidays that they actually get to take the day off for and its stupid stupid maple syrup. Sure, its tasty, but its so messy and sticky.
As I'm cleaning I get up and hit my head on the fridge. I am sticky and gross and I just hit my head. I then hit my knee. Maple syrup and canada are my enemy. I can't wait to take my bath, except for now it'll have to be a shower probably because I'm too sticky. There's syrup on my sweatshirt, the sweatshirt I wear every day and it makes me mad.
I think that if I ever have kids, they will never ever taste syrup because it won't be allowed to be introduced to them. Parents would be insane to ever let their kids eat syrup. Syrup everywhere, sticky kids, I imagine in getting on the carpet and it disgusts me.
JAred should be coming home soon. I finish up what I can clean and go to the bathroom to take my bath or shower. whatever. I feel the bath and its cold. Way colder than it should be. I drain the bath. I turn the faucet on. It is not getting warm. This cannot be happening. I go into the kitchen. The water is cold. I contemplate boiling water but we have no large pots. Its nothing I can fix. Our water comes from boilers that we share with four other units. I want to die. I hate life. no hot water and I'm a sticky syruppy mess and I still have a kink in my neck. nooo. this cannot be happening. this is not possible. this is ridiculous.
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When I wake up today JAred tells me that there is no hot water still. I contemplate staying home from work but I get up. I test the water in the kitchen. It is cold. I go into the bathroom and turn on the shower and, lo and behold, it is warm. it is hot. I get in fast before my dream ends, but it is real. we have hot water. And my terrible, very bad, rotten, no good day fades into all but a distant memory...
I get home, turn on the bathtub to fill it up, then go into the kitchen. In the kitchen I notice this giant puddle of brown battery-acidy substance coming from under our month-old fridge. ARgh... our new fridge! I open the fridge and it takes me a while to trace where its coming from, but it turns out its not what I thought it was at all, but organic 100% real maple syrup. everywhere.
its in all the side trays where the condiments are, all over the condiments, all the way down the side, and leaking out from the bottom, congregating to the giant pool under the fridge. I go to the bathroom and turn off the bath. This is going to take a while to clean up.
I start cleaning. I don't have paper towels, because I'm trying to save the earth. So I use these lemon-scented wipes (which are probably way worse for the planet). I use the whole container, all 40 of them. I alternate between a sponge, absorbing all the syrup up, wringing it out , and then using the lemon-scented wipe to get the last of it up. I clean all the condiments. I get as much of the giant puddle underneath the fridge cleaned up with the sponge. When Jared comes home I'll have him help me get whatever syrupy mess is underneath the fridge (when he comes home he just lifts the whole refrigerator up from the bottom ....what? who can just lift up fridges? he's insane).
The whole time I'm cleaning, I'm cursing Canada because this is obviously their fault. Canada and their maple syrup. I'm cursing the stupid syrup lid on the giant Trader Joe's syrup container. It says no-drip, no-mess, or some nonsense like that on the label and it pisses me off. Just a few months ago I was the praising the design, because in reality it is usually pretty cool, but now it is evil. it is the devil. canada is the devil. Do you know that Canada has a holiday called family day? Yeah I heard they created just because it was too long of a period from New YEars to the next holiday so they just made up a new holiday. freaking family day. stupid canada and its made-up holidays that they actually get to take the day off for and its stupid stupid maple syrup. Sure, its tasty, but its so messy and sticky.
As I'm cleaning I get up and hit my head on the fridge. I am sticky and gross and I just hit my head. I then hit my knee. Maple syrup and canada are my enemy. I can't wait to take my bath, except for now it'll have to be a shower probably because I'm too sticky. There's syrup on my sweatshirt, the sweatshirt I wear every day and it makes me mad.
I think that if I ever have kids, they will never ever taste syrup because it won't be allowed to be introduced to them. Parents would be insane to ever let their kids eat syrup. Syrup everywhere, sticky kids, I imagine in getting on the carpet and it disgusts me.
JAred should be coming home soon. I finish up what I can clean and go to the bathroom to take my bath or shower. whatever. I feel the bath and its cold. Way colder than it should be. I drain the bath. I turn the faucet on. It is not getting warm. This cannot be happening. I go into the kitchen. The water is cold. I contemplate boiling water but we have no large pots. Its nothing I can fix. Our water comes from boilers that we share with four other units. I want to die. I hate life. no hot water and I'm a sticky syruppy mess and I still have a kink in my neck. nooo. this cannot be happening. this is not possible. this is ridiculous.
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When I wake up today JAred tells me that there is no hot water still. I contemplate staying home from work but I get up. I test the water in the kitchen. It is cold. I go into the bathroom and turn on the shower and, lo and behold, it is warm. it is hot. I get in fast before my dream ends, but it is real. we have hot water. And my terrible, very bad, rotten, no good day fades into all but a distant memory...