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so basically this year has already started with full force. there is no going back easy when you are a senior i guess. i like most of my classes and the people in them. i love my ap classes the most which surprises me. i have been feeling really stressed out and i hate when i get like this. alot of things have been going on and i dont like it really. i miss the old days really of summer. i miss seeing my friends regularly and i feel like i just cause we i am talking to i cant see them. i wont let that happen. it is my senior year and nothing will ruin it. but really i miss nick and having him here. it was hard to start school knowing he wasnt going to be with us. my yearbook teacher talked today to me about my opinion on the dedication page. of course i am going to make sure it will go in. me ash and jen talked about it today and i reliezed that in ten years when i look at the page i know i will remember all that pain. i hate to think that but that it is how it is. i really want those pages to be beautiful and special like nick and lex. i just dont know if i am strong enough to do it myself without bursting into tears. i dont know how i can ever look at it without crying. there is never a day i dont think about him and somedays are tougher than others. latly it is tougher and i relieze i havent expressed it in a while and i need to. it is just hard. well now that i said that i feel a little bit better, not really tho. well i got to finsih registering now, i need to leave leominster and this will help me do so.
<3chelsey
<3chelsey