(no subject)
So, I was bored and came online, in the hopes that someone would be on aim and would talk to me. BUT, no one's on. So I went to my LJ and decided to look at my friends lj's, even though none of them have updated in like forever. I went to Ck's LJ and it totally made me smile. One entry that really made me smile (and actually laugh) was the one from the night we "studied" but then ended up talking to Chris and had him call Nate with a stupid message. First I read her interpretation of it, then I read what I put in my lj. Prettty funny. And then I realized that I fucking miss her and now my life sucks cuz she's gone and i'll never get to see her ever again. Ok I will but rarely. RARELY! I think the reason that I decided to stay with Nate "just to have fun" is because I just lost my bff and I know I couldn't lose him too. Everyone at once is just too much. Grrr. I want to go in the living room and watch tv but I'm scared Sean is outside my house and will see me and make me open the door. It's really sad when you're a prisoner of your own room. Wow sometimes I wish I didn't think about things so much. And why do I think about the unimportant things so much? Why do I underthink the important things??
I guess this is pretty predictable but I don't really want to go to school. I don't like studying. If it's important enough, I'll remember it. I was talking to Deb the other day and she told me about these people who traveled to New England and just like hung out there and stuff. This sounded pretty awesome to me. Traveling. I don't have ANY freakin idea what I want to do with my life. And I'm sick of everyone asking me. Yes, you asked me yesterday but guess what, today, I STILL don't fucking know what I want to do. Ok, promise not to laugh? Last week, when I was at my moms, I talked to her about this. And somehow, I came up with the idea of being in the CIA. Yes. We decided I would be a good decoy because 1) I look innocent 2) People always think I'm like 5 years younger than I actually am and 3) People trust me a lot, for some reason. I'm also always talking about how I want more adventure in my life and etc. SO we thought this would be a good job for me. But then I talked to Deb. And she said "You'd be a good decoy until you were caught and they got mad and killed you." Nice Deb, nice. So I don't know. I wish I was more sure of myself. And the decisions I make. Ok well Bryan just im'ed me, sooo enough of this, later.
I guess this is pretty predictable but I don't really want to go to school. I don't like studying. If it's important enough, I'll remember it. I was talking to Deb the other day and she told me about these people who traveled to New England and just like hung out there and stuff. This sounded pretty awesome to me. Traveling. I don't have ANY freakin idea what I want to do with my life. And I'm sick of everyone asking me. Yes, you asked me yesterday but guess what, today, I STILL don't fucking know what I want to do. Ok, promise not to laugh? Last week, when I was at my moms, I talked to her about this. And somehow, I came up with the idea of being in the CIA. Yes. We decided I would be a good decoy because 1) I look innocent 2) People always think I'm like 5 years younger than I actually am and 3) People trust me a lot, for some reason. I'm also always talking about how I want more adventure in my life and etc. SO we thought this would be a good job for me. But then I talked to Deb. And she said "You'd be a good decoy until you were caught and they got mad and killed you." Nice Deb, nice. So I don't know. I wish I was more sure of myself. And the decisions I make. Ok well Bryan just im'ed me, sooo enough of this, later.