My first experience with being comforted by GACKT-san
Well, I am now laying in my bed recovering from oral surgery. It may have been an average extraction procedure, but it was quite frightening for me.
To prepare for the surgery, the nurses placed electrodes on my body and a blood-pressure cuff (Wiki says it's called a "sphygmomanometer") on my arm, both connected to a machine. The machine scared me the most.
It has a monitor that measures my heart rate, but it also "beeps" them. I hate how it would go at a higher pitch and a quicker tempo when I'm nervous, because it only makes me more nervous.
Also, the machine would have the "sphygmomanometer" inflate spontaneously, making me afraid that it won't stop on its own because it kept inflating to the point where it really hurts.
Whenever I need assistance during critical times, I usually pray. However in this case, I am not comfortable with involving God in science. It wouldn't be right to believe that everything that happens in the hospital is fate.
So instead, I calmed myself down after each ordeal just by remembering GACKT-san's words:
"だいじょうぶ [大丈夫]. 今日 は 大丈夫 だから."
I listened to his "Itterashai" message beforehand. GACKT-san's voice was really soothing, and he really helped relax me. His words were more comforting than my own mother's, which had fear in them.
Considering the possibility of dry socket and nerve injury during the recovering process, it is too soon to say at the moment that this surgery has been a success.
With that in mind, I am glad that GACKT-san is present in spirit, to assure me that everything is going to be alright. It makes me feel closer to him, which is something that I always wanted.
And so, I am happy to be comfortable in my own bed, watching episodes of "Fuurin Kazan" with intermissions of changing gauze pads and ice packs, and taking pain medication.
I am also comforted at the moment at how I am given such considerate comments on my journal posts, especially on my previous one.
I make sure to reply to them all, to show my deep appreciation for being noticed.
Well, I have taken a long time writing this post, and it is getting late now. I must get some rest.
Good night, everyone.
I hope I will get fully recovered by Thursday so that I may return to my job: it is going to be a busy day.