Getting One's Life In Order
*brushes off the dust*
Wow, sure has been a while. I'll never figure out why I stop writing in these... typing out a journal is so much faster (and less painful) than writing it down by hand... and yet I still use my physical journal more. .. Oh well ^_^
So I've been in japan for a year and 8 months now... time sure does fly. Pretty soon it will have been 2 years and I'll be 26 *shudder* Knowing that I"m coming to the end of my, how should I say.... well the end of my more "carefree" years, I know that I have to actually get my butt moving on something or risk either staying here teaching English for the rest of my life or going back to being a waitress... neither of which are appealing in the least.
A lot has happened since I came here 20 months ago. I've finally reached my weight goal (145lbs), I've had two boyfriends (one of which is still current), finally entrusted someone with my vcard, got promoted,.... and learned that Japanese really is just more of a hobby. Nothing like realizing that you dedicated 5+ years of your life to something that would amount to only a hobby to only now be like "what the eff am I going to do with my life now?? I have no job opportunities!"
My current boy, Trey, suddenly got sent back to the US.... and he shant be returning. I was a bit devastated.... still am to be honest. He's only been gone 7 days... we've only been dating for a month, which I"m sure to some people doesn't seem like a lot of time. But we talked all day... EVERYDAY. I was a bit unsure of him at first... but I love him with my whole heart now. I finally can relate to that feeling of just knowing that I've found the one... and I"m pretty sure he's it.
but gushing about him, as much as I love to do it, isn't the reason for dusting this journal off... no.... it's about what he's started in me. The huge bolder that he's started rolling without meaning to.
He's back in Tennessee. He'll be working for half the year and then go to college in the Fall. I can only afford to go back to the US once a year now. My visa is up in May of 2015 and I have ever intention of going home then. So now I have a deadline... and a boy to get back to. Motivation number one.
Number two: he didn't get sent back to the US on good terms and it might effect his ability to get a good job not to mention getting the GI bill. That equals debt and not a lot of money. -_-;
To top it off... I don't want to wait until I'm 30 to have kids... but he wants to wait until he's graduated and established.... which would be when I'm 30.
So what's my solution to these three things? Simply put: get a higher paying job than him. How I'm going to do it: Get a good score on my GMAT and apply to an online MBA program in January of 2014, go home in December (if I can) or May (if I need to) and stay in Pittsburgh for 3ish months to get my drivers license, and then find a paid internship in Tennessee and move down there ASAP. Though, as long as I"m back in the US I think it might be okay. 9 hours is a doable drive. I could see getting an internship in Pittsburgh and then January of 2016 moving down to TN. That would only give him one year left at school unless you count the student teacher stuff he'll have to do.
Originally, I wanted to be in an MBA program by fall of this year... but I"m realizing that that is a bit unrealistic. Especially with the amount of math I need. I also plan to enhance my resume by passing the N2. I'm hoping that might give me a little edge should I apply to a company that has branches or a mother company in Japan.
So basically, this year, get a score of as close to 600 on my GMAT as possible and pass the N2.
And I know, it's a little crazy to be doing all of this for a boy... and while it's true that he's my biggest motivator right now, it's not just for him. It's for me. It's for the bettering of my life. With this plan, even if we do break up, I'm setting myself up for success. I'll be able to get a descent job and I won't be stuck trying to work my way up from a staff position in a restaurant or something.
Sounds nice, huh? But it's intimidating as hell. I cry myself to sleep almost every night from the stress of this, the stress of doing FMs at work (which is what first got me thinking of sales), and just the emptiness I feel with Trey gone. December can't come soon enough... I haven't even enrolled and I already feel like I'm back in school. Wanting a day to come sooner but at the same time all of the crap I'd have to do before that day came. I have to take the GMAT in December as well as the N2... though, now that I think about it, I'll probably take the GMAT in October or November just so that I don't have 2 tests in one month.
*sigh* I always do this though... I plan and plan... but never take action. Trey is forcing me to take that action. I want to be with him... I want that potential of a life with him... and, unless I get my butt in gear, we'll never make it. We'll never have enough money. We'll be living paycheck to paycheck... and that is the one thing (next to being a single mom) that I never wanted in my life. I lived that already, I don't want to put my kids through that.
Well ther you have it... a very long entry, sorry about that... I just needed to get it written down without my hand cramping ^_^
Night journal~
~Julie
Wow, sure has been a while. I'll never figure out why I stop writing in these... typing out a journal is so much faster (and less painful) than writing it down by hand... and yet I still use my physical journal more. .. Oh well ^_^
So I've been in japan for a year and 8 months now... time sure does fly. Pretty soon it will have been 2 years and I'll be 26 *shudder* Knowing that I"m coming to the end of my, how should I say.... well the end of my more "carefree" years, I know that I have to actually get my butt moving on something or risk either staying here teaching English for the rest of my life or going back to being a waitress... neither of which are appealing in the least.
A lot has happened since I came here 20 months ago. I've finally reached my weight goal (145lbs), I've had two boyfriends (one of which is still current), finally entrusted someone with my vcard, got promoted,.... and learned that Japanese really is just more of a hobby. Nothing like realizing that you dedicated 5+ years of your life to something that would amount to only a hobby to only now be like "what the eff am I going to do with my life now?? I have no job opportunities!"
My current boy, Trey, suddenly got sent back to the US.... and he shant be returning. I was a bit devastated.... still am to be honest. He's only been gone 7 days... we've only been dating for a month, which I"m sure to some people doesn't seem like a lot of time. But we talked all day... EVERYDAY. I was a bit unsure of him at first... but I love him with my whole heart now. I finally can relate to that feeling of just knowing that I've found the one... and I"m pretty sure he's it.
but gushing about him, as much as I love to do it, isn't the reason for dusting this journal off... no.... it's about what he's started in me. The huge bolder that he's started rolling without meaning to.
He's back in Tennessee. He'll be working for half the year and then go to college in the Fall. I can only afford to go back to the US once a year now. My visa is up in May of 2015 and I have ever intention of going home then. So now I have a deadline... and a boy to get back to. Motivation number one.
Number two: he didn't get sent back to the US on good terms and it might effect his ability to get a good job not to mention getting the GI bill. That equals debt and not a lot of money. -_-;
To top it off... I don't want to wait until I'm 30 to have kids... but he wants to wait until he's graduated and established.... which would be when I'm 30.
So what's my solution to these three things? Simply put: get a higher paying job than him. How I'm going to do it: Get a good score on my GMAT and apply to an online MBA program in January of 2014, go home in December (if I can) or May (if I need to) and stay in Pittsburgh for 3ish months to get my drivers license, and then find a paid internship in Tennessee and move down there ASAP. Though, as long as I"m back in the US I think it might be okay. 9 hours is a doable drive. I could see getting an internship in Pittsburgh and then January of 2016 moving down to TN. That would only give him one year left at school unless you count the student teacher stuff he'll have to do.
Originally, I wanted to be in an MBA program by fall of this year... but I"m realizing that that is a bit unrealistic. Especially with the amount of math I need. I also plan to enhance my resume by passing the N2. I'm hoping that might give me a little edge should I apply to a company that has branches or a mother company in Japan.
So basically, this year, get a score of as close to 600 on my GMAT as possible and pass the N2.
And I know, it's a little crazy to be doing all of this for a boy... and while it's true that he's my biggest motivator right now, it's not just for him. It's for me. It's for the bettering of my life. With this plan, even if we do break up, I'm setting myself up for success. I'll be able to get a descent job and I won't be stuck trying to work my way up from a staff position in a restaurant or something.
Sounds nice, huh? But it's intimidating as hell. I cry myself to sleep almost every night from the stress of this, the stress of doing FMs at work (which is what first got me thinking of sales), and just the emptiness I feel with Trey gone. December can't come soon enough... I haven't even enrolled and I already feel like I'm back in school. Wanting a day to come sooner but at the same time all of the crap I'd have to do before that day came. I have to take the GMAT in December as well as the N2... though, now that I think about it, I'll probably take the GMAT in October or November just so that I don't have 2 tests in one month.
*sigh* I always do this though... I plan and plan... but never take action. Trey is forcing me to take that action. I want to be with him... I want that potential of a life with him... and, unless I get my butt in gear, we'll never make it. We'll never have enough money. We'll be living paycheck to paycheck... and that is the one thing (next to being a single mom) that I never wanted in my life. I lived that already, I don't want to put my kids through that.
Well ther you have it... a very long entry, sorry about that... I just needed to get it written down without my hand cramping ^_^
Night journal~
~Julie