and now i'm mired in the marrow of that "well ain't that funny?" bone, learnin' how to be alone...
lol, i'm so dramatic sometimes. i haven't spoken to jon in like a week. i think i'm kinda sore by the whole thing. idk, its weird. i do miss him tho. but there's nothing to really talk about i guess. he's not that interested in what i have to say anymore. he doesn't have time for me. i guess its whatevs.
things are going ok with me and the d. i got very irra with him today because of his schedule. he's so damn busy. like, "i'm going to thailand, india, england... oh and hawaii." wtf? lol, um yeah. i guess i shouldn't complain. i knew that's how it was getting into it. its gonna suck... being without him. i crave him, i yearn for him. i guess there's a small part of me that thinks i'm going to get tired of all of it. like, i'm not going to be able to deal. this is one of the reasons he didn't want a relationship, i'm sure. i mean, wtf were we supposed to do? feelings just happen, and we as human beings want to be with the ones we love. i love him! i love him so much! Even though certain things about him annoy the fuck outta me. like, how he's so self centered. OMG! i don't think i 've ever been with someone that doesn't consider my feelings... or considers them, but that's it. stops there. lol. oh, dj... so cute and lovable. i don't want to get mad at him for it. who am i to stop him? his girlfriend without the title! that's who. haha. no but really, if i could get used to being alone, it wouldn't be a big deal. i trust him, he loves me after all, i know he does. i need to pick up a new hobby. something to really distract my mind. i need to think of myself more too. be more contrite with my past and find ways to make it better. focus on things that are going to be progressive for my future. i shouldn't let myself get wrapped up in this boi. he's not the type to settle down, or give me what i need. (my heart hurts as i type this) almost like a sudden envisage of what our relationship will lead to, or NOT lead to. if only i drove him wild, if only the love he had for me ran deep in his veins. the kind of love that's in, not aired. i not only want to be inhaled, i want to be gasped.
things are going ok with me and the d. i got very irra with him today because of his schedule. he's so damn busy. like, "i'm going to thailand, india, england... oh and hawaii." wtf? lol, um yeah. i guess i shouldn't complain. i knew that's how it was getting into it. its gonna suck... being without him. i crave him, i yearn for him. i guess there's a small part of me that thinks i'm going to get tired of all of it. like, i'm not going to be able to deal. this is one of the reasons he didn't want a relationship, i'm sure. i mean, wtf were we supposed to do? feelings just happen, and we as human beings want to be with the ones we love. i love him! i love him so much! Even though certain things about him annoy the fuck outta me. like, how he's so self centered. OMG! i don't think i 've ever been with someone that doesn't consider my feelings... or considers them, but that's it. stops there. lol. oh, dj... so cute and lovable. i don't want to get mad at him for it. who am i to stop him? his girlfriend without the title! that's who. haha. no but really, if i could get used to being alone, it wouldn't be a big deal. i trust him, he loves me after all, i know he does. i need to pick up a new hobby. something to really distract my mind. i need to think of myself more too. be more contrite with my past and find ways to make it better. focus on things that are going to be progressive for my future. i shouldn't let myself get wrapped up in this boi. he's not the type to settle down, or give me what i need. (my heart hurts as i type this) almost like a sudden envisage of what our relationship will lead to, or NOT lead to. if only i drove him wild, if only the love he had for me ran deep in his veins. the kind of love that's in, not aired. i not only want to be inhaled, i want to be gasped.