[FIC] "Scars of the Soul"
Title:"Scars of the Soul"
Author:pinkishglow
Pairing: Yunjae
Rating: PG
Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst
Summary: Please read the prologue. I will write the summary in chapter 1.
Warnings: Male pregnancy and I usually portray Jaejoong as delicate and weak (don't like, don't read :D)
Beta-ed by the wonderful jangwoohyuk35(Muchas gracias linda <333)
PROLOGUE
I yearn to feel the soothing, morning breeze on my fair skin as I walk bare foot on wet, green grass. I yearn to feel warm, smooth hands pulling me gently as the sun rises over the clear, blue sky. I yearn to see her warm smile as she gazes down and sings to me. I yearn to feel her fingers messing my short, raven hair playfully and lovingly.
I yearn to see my own reflection in her deep, brown eyes. I yearn to feel her warm lips on my forehead and cheeks. I yearn to feel her delicate arms wrapped around my tiny body, warming my heart and soul. I yearn to hear her soothing voice, telling me; “I love you, Joongie,” over and over until I respond with a sincere, “I love you too, Noona…”
My life as a child revolved constantly around my older sister for whom I always felt love and respect. Like a shining star over the black, beautiful sky, she too shined brightly. She was the mother and the father I never had, not because they were dead, but because they could not stand seeing each other; much less us, the product of their arranged marriage. A contract made for the sole purpose of expanding the wealth between two families, making our harsh reality as simple as that.
I tried not to let my parent’s indifference bother me; to replace the emptiness in my heart with my sister’s unconditional love, but I always knew deep within my heart that her emotional scars ran much deeper than mine. “I wish I’d grow up faster, Noona,” my six year old self said one night as she tucked me in bed. “And why would you want that?” She asked me confused. “So that I could protect you.” She did not say anything afterwards. Instead, she kissed my forehead as she always did every night, turned off the lights and left my bedroom.
When I saw her the next day, I knew immediately she had cried, for her eyes were swollen and red. I, unintentionally made the person I was trying to protect, cry. Since that day, I made a promise to myself. I was determined to do everything within my ability to make her feel wanted and loved. I wanted to be her savior; to free her from the chains that kept her submerged under a sea of grief and desolation. I wanted…I wanted…
Unfortunately, my dream shattered two years later when my parents made the cruel decision to separate us. “Please Noona, don’t leave me alone. I’ll be a good boy, I promise. But please, don’t leave me alone…Noona,” I implored, no longer suppressing the tears of desperation my sad eyes wanted to shed. Only until now have I come to realize how easily I had broken my promise. My imprudence and lack of understanding were making our separation much harder and more painful. “I’m sorry, Joongie.” Her soft voice vibrated in my ears. “I have to leave, but I’ll be back for you. I promise.” Her slim body trembled and although I could not see her face, I knew she was crying. Reluctantly, she pulled away from our embrace and then kissed my cheek. “Goodbye, my little Joongie,” she said and then got in the black, extravagant car. “No Noona! Don’t go! Noona!” I cried as loud as I could, trying to run after the car, but my father’s strong hold kept me from moving forward.
Why were they doing such a cruel thing to us? I wanted to know. Why were they putting my sweet, loving sister through the same ordeal they went through? Was that some kind of punishment they thought we deserved?
Innumerable questions assaulted my mind, but I never voiced them out. I kept quiet and waited for my turn to bleed to arrive instead.
Now, ten years later, I find myself in the same position my sister was on that fateful day; as broken and empty as she then was.
“I do.” I utter in agreement.
The priest ends the ceremony and the man who once was my sister’s husband pulls me roughly to his chest, “You belong to me now,” he whispers and then kisses my virgin lips, sealing in this way, our contract.
Please forgive me, dear sister…
[Character profile list]
A/N: I know this is a very short prologue but I just wanted to give you a "taste" of my new story which frankly isn't very new. I came up with this plot way before I did with TPAHA, but ended up writing TPAHA instead XD I had also written the prologue in Spanish, but since no one seemed interested (except for jaeho_forever and my beta, btw I changed the title) I decided to write it in English. It's possible that you might find some similarities between the two stories, but that's because TPAHA is based on this new fic, so please let me know if you'd like to read it. Just so that you know, the plots are not same :D Don't be shy, leave a comment!!!!
Author:pinkishglow
Pairing: Yunjae
Rating: PG
Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst
Summary: Please read the prologue. I will write the summary in chapter 1.
Warnings: Male pregnancy and I usually portray Jaejoong as delicate and weak (don't like, don't read :D)
Beta-ed by the wonderful jangwoohyuk35(Muchas gracias linda <333)
PROLOGUE
I yearn to feel the soothing, morning breeze on my fair skin as I walk bare foot on wet, green grass. I yearn to feel warm, smooth hands pulling me gently as the sun rises over the clear, blue sky. I yearn to see her warm smile as she gazes down and sings to me. I yearn to feel her fingers messing my short, raven hair playfully and lovingly.
I yearn to see my own reflection in her deep, brown eyes. I yearn to feel her warm lips on my forehead and cheeks. I yearn to feel her delicate arms wrapped around my tiny body, warming my heart and soul. I yearn to hear her soothing voice, telling me; “I love you, Joongie,” over and over until I respond with a sincere, “I love you too, Noona…”
My life as a child revolved constantly around my older sister for whom I always felt love and respect. Like a shining star over the black, beautiful sky, she too shined brightly. She was the mother and the father I never had, not because they were dead, but because they could not stand seeing each other; much less us, the product of their arranged marriage. A contract made for the sole purpose of expanding the wealth between two families, making our harsh reality as simple as that.
I tried not to let my parent’s indifference bother me; to replace the emptiness in my heart with my sister’s unconditional love, but I always knew deep within my heart that her emotional scars ran much deeper than mine. “I wish I’d grow up faster, Noona,” my six year old self said one night as she tucked me in bed. “And why would you want that?” She asked me confused. “So that I could protect you.” She did not say anything afterwards. Instead, she kissed my forehead as she always did every night, turned off the lights and left my bedroom.
When I saw her the next day, I knew immediately she had cried, for her eyes were swollen and red. I, unintentionally made the person I was trying to protect, cry. Since that day, I made a promise to myself. I was determined to do everything within my ability to make her feel wanted and loved. I wanted to be her savior; to free her from the chains that kept her submerged under a sea of grief and desolation. I wanted…I wanted…
Unfortunately, my dream shattered two years later when my parents made the cruel decision to separate us. “Please Noona, don’t leave me alone. I’ll be a good boy, I promise. But please, don’t leave me alone…Noona,” I implored, no longer suppressing the tears of desperation my sad eyes wanted to shed. Only until now have I come to realize how easily I had broken my promise. My imprudence and lack of understanding were making our separation much harder and more painful. “I’m sorry, Joongie.” Her soft voice vibrated in my ears. “I have to leave, but I’ll be back for you. I promise.” Her slim body trembled and although I could not see her face, I knew she was crying. Reluctantly, she pulled away from our embrace and then kissed my cheek. “Goodbye, my little Joongie,” she said and then got in the black, extravagant car. “No Noona! Don’t go! Noona!” I cried as loud as I could, trying to run after the car, but my father’s strong hold kept me from moving forward.
Why were they doing such a cruel thing to us? I wanted to know. Why were they putting my sweet, loving sister through the same ordeal they went through? Was that some kind of punishment they thought we deserved?
Innumerable questions assaulted my mind, but I never voiced them out. I kept quiet and waited for my turn to bleed to arrive instead.
Now, ten years later, I find myself in the same position my sister was on that fateful day; as broken and empty as she then was.
“I do.” I utter in agreement.
The priest ends the ceremony and the man who once was my sister’s husband pulls me roughly to his chest, “You belong to me now,” he whispers and then kisses my virgin lips, sealing in this way, our contract.
Please forgive me, dear sister…
[Character profile list]
A/N: I know this is a very short prologue but I just wanted to give you a "taste" of my new story which frankly isn't very new. I came up with this plot way before I did with TPAHA, but ended up writing TPAHA instead XD I had also written the prologue in Spanish, but since no one seemed interested (except for jaeho_forever and my beta, btw I changed the title) I decided to write it in English. It's possible that you might find some similarities between the two stories, but that's because TPAHA is based on this new fic, so please let me know if you'd like to read it. Just so that you know, the plots are not same :D Don't be shy, leave a comment!!!!