(no subject)
Okay, so I'm really not much good at regular updates. Last weekend I went home which was cool, and though it was hard, I came back on Monday and all has been okay I guess. Sarah's party Wednesday went okay, and I felt a bit hot shit for a change, cos Melissa did my make up and made me look like quite a hot goth. Me and hot don't normally go together, so I more than appreciate her doing that for me. (mwah!). Latin this week has been entirely depressing, I don't seem to be understanding it as well as I was before. Or at least I understand the rules and stuff, but then don't seem to understand the translations set. Hmm. It is troubling, considering we only have about 6 weeks left of teaching before the exams. Not happy. On the other hand, did get my Imperial History test mark back and did better than I did last time, which is a bit of a shock considering I spent the whole time hoping I wasn't going to be sick (hangover!). Maybe I should drink the night before the next one too!
So right now I'm procrastinating really badly. Really need to get on with my Imperial History essay which is in next Friday. Reckon I should get it done before Monday, then I can concentrate on scarier things like my presentation etc... very afraid of that right now.
Might go out tonight. Only to the union, but it would be more than I have been doing. I have stayed in for ages, and its actually been worth doing I think. I feel calmer, less panicked by things, and I seem to be vaguely in control at the moment, than I was. And I think it's cos I'm sleeping at better times and being generally more relaxed. Still feel like I'm waiting for something to go wrong, like I know something is going to go wrong and I'm just waiting to see what it is, and how bad it'll be. Kinda scared of it, just don't know how scared to be yet. Will keep you posted on that one!
Other than that, the only other negative really is a disappointment in some people. It seems that when I put my trust in people they're almost destined to let me down at some point. I know I take some obligations too seriously, and I don't mean to be the kind of person that gets really upset when someone doesn't quite do what I want them to... but I can't help feeling a little let down by some people I thought wouldn't make me feel that way. Helpfully tho, I have discovered that, added to my ability to lie, I can also convince people that I'm completely disinterested in things, when inside I'm crying out that its important to me and nobody will ever know how much or why. Well that was an interesting rant... didn't see that one coming... how rare.
Anyway, ciao for now, and thanks to those of you who don't let me down, xx
So right now I'm procrastinating really badly. Really need to get on with my Imperial History essay which is in next Friday. Reckon I should get it done before Monday, then I can concentrate on scarier things like my presentation etc... very afraid of that right now.
Might go out tonight. Only to the union, but it would be more than I have been doing. I have stayed in for ages, and its actually been worth doing I think. I feel calmer, less panicked by things, and I seem to be vaguely in control at the moment, than I was. And I think it's cos I'm sleeping at better times and being generally more relaxed. Still feel like I'm waiting for something to go wrong, like I know something is going to go wrong and I'm just waiting to see what it is, and how bad it'll be. Kinda scared of it, just don't know how scared to be yet. Will keep you posted on that one!
Other than that, the only other negative really is a disappointment in some people. It seems that when I put my trust in people they're almost destined to let me down at some point. I know I take some obligations too seriously, and I don't mean to be the kind of person that gets really upset when someone doesn't quite do what I want them to... but I can't help feeling a little let down by some people I thought wouldn't make me feel that way. Helpfully tho, I have discovered that, added to my ability to lie, I can also convince people that I'm completely disinterested in things, when inside I'm crying out that its important to me and nobody will ever know how much or why. Well that was an interesting rant... didn't see that one coming... how rare.
Anyway, ciao for now, and thanks to those of you who don't let me down, xx