Dear English boys: Learn tact, Love Liz
So I went off to visit my darling friend Emma (the one that I met in Africa) so we could go out dancing, neither of us had been since before Africa and were desperate to shake our booties!
After some confusion with the trains I was able to get to her place and get all gussied up for the clubs, I of course went in my usual attire: mini skirt and skate shoes and she showed off her new "I just kicked my boyfriend out" boots and we were off to Kendal to go dancing.
I was in Kendal for only about 2 minutes before boys were yelling at me for my attention, I know what you're thinking "stupid Liz, you're so full of yourself, how do you know it was for you?" Well I'll tell you, it was because they were screaming things like "Hey pink, baby, Where are you going I want to marry you!"
We thought that we had escaped them and wandered up to an ATM and next thing you know there are 4 guys in front of us and one standing directly infront of me, the look on my face could only be described as confused, I looked at Emma to see if she knew him and then he spoke: He said "You're coming with me" and threw me over his shoulder. I was dumbfounded, Emma describes it as the only time she's ever seen me have nothing to say. I just stared at her confused as this guy walked down the road with me. Suddenly it occured to me that neither of us knew these guys and considering the size of my skirt...I was probably giving the whole town a show so I started kicking my legs until he put me down, when he did I think I simply ran off.
Later that evening, beacause I'd been denied access to the nice club on account of my shoes, we ran into these guys again...this is how our conversation went:
Him: You're gorgeous
Me: I know
Him: You have amazing breasts
Me: I know
Him: Will you make out with me?
Me: NO
Him: Will you have sex with me?
Me: NO
Him: I have tiger pants on
at this point he proceeds to undo his belt and take his pants off to show me his tight tiger stripe underwear.
Me: Do you really think this is going to get me to have sex with you?
Him: well..uh...I was just joking
At this point I proceed to take Emma away and suggested to him that he try and find an easier mark...maybe someone in his league...
I have to say one thing though, he may have had all the grace of a bulldozer in a ballet recital but at least he was a good source of entertainment before I lost my vision due to all the smoke attacking my sinuses.
Also I am home and safe, my birthday was exactly what I wanted, I saw all my close friends and then I fell into a nyquil induced coma to save me from the horrible fly I had developed in England.
Kelowna this weekend...
After some confusion with the trains I was able to get to her place and get all gussied up for the clubs, I of course went in my usual attire: mini skirt and skate shoes and she showed off her new "I just kicked my boyfriend out" boots and we were off to Kendal to go dancing.
I was in Kendal for only about 2 minutes before boys were yelling at me for my attention, I know what you're thinking "stupid Liz, you're so full of yourself, how do you know it was for you?" Well I'll tell you, it was because they were screaming things like "Hey pink, baby, Where are you going I want to marry you!"
We thought that we had escaped them and wandered up to an ATM and next thing you know there are 4 guys in front of us and one standing directly infront of me, the look on my face could only be described as confused, I looked at Emma to see if she knew him and then he spoke: He said "You're coming with me" and threw me over his shoulder. I was dumbfounded, Emma describes it as the only time she's ever seen me have nothing to say. I just stared at her confused as this guy walked down the road with me. Suddenly it occured to me that neither of us knew these guys and considering the size of my skirt...I was probably giving the whole town a show so I started kicking my legs until he put me down, when he did I think I simply ran off.
Later that evening, beacause I'd been denied access to the nice club on account of my shoes, we ran into these guys again...this is how our conversation went:
Him: You're gorgeous
Me: I know
Him: You have amazing breasts
Me: I know
Him: Will you make out with me?
Me: NO
Him: Will you have sex with me?
Me: NO
Him: I have tiger pants on
at this point he proceeds to undo his belt and take his pants off to show me his tight tiger stripe underwear.
Me: Do you really think this is going to get me to have sex with you?
Him: well..uh...I was just joking
At this point I proceed to take Emma away and suggested to him that he try and find an easier mark...maybe someone in his league...
I have to say one thing though, he may have had all the grace of a bulldozer in a ballet recital but at least he was a good source of entertainment before I lost my vision due to all the smoke attacking my sinuses.
Also I am home and safe, my birthday was exactly what I wanted, I saw all my close friends and then I fell into a nyquil induced coma to save me from the horrible fly I had developed in England.
Kelowna this weekend...