(no subject)
So I was just talking to myself in the apartment and I was thinking back on when my dad used to catch me talking to myself, (probably because as I get older I get more weirded out about it)
Interjection with a thought on top of a thought, there used to be a distinction between my high writing and my sober writing, as in I used to definitely see the distinction (I'm sure there still is one) however I never take notice to it. In fact, I believe I have been stoned every time I have written in here for probably at least 90% of the entries this year.
Anyway, my dad was so funny every time he'd catch me talking to myself. I bet he would listen for longer than I realize. But every time he would say it in the same way, with an eyebrow slightly cocked and a comical tone of worry, "are you talking to yourself?" sometimes it would be, "do you realize you're talking to yourself?" and completely serious as if we both knew that me talking to myself held the fate of the world I would nod back at him and he would walk away.
When I was a little kid it seemed so justified and so right. I even talked to myself in public without feeling weird about it. Now I never do that. I noticed that as I came into and out of puberty talking to myself began to be self-conscious. Suddenly I couldn't just have a conversation with myself, now there was another me, in my head that was interrupting and making me feel weird about it. It's hard to pick up the momentum of a conversation with yourself once you have stopped it. I have managed to say, "fuck you" to this inner voice and occasionally find myself talking to myself but I've noticed the conversations now are more forced, less exuberant, less funny, and less full of myself, and are mostly my mind.
I believe it is important to embrace your inner monologue though. I know that talking to myself has made me come up with a lot of funny ideas, and also has helped me hash out relationships, and self-revelations easily and more enjoyably.
Interjection with a thought on top of a thought, there used to be a distinction between my high writing and my sober writing, as in I used to definitely see the distinction (I'm sure there still is one) however I never take notice to it. In fact, I believe I have been stoned every time I have written in here for probably at least 90% of the entries this year.
Anyway, my dad was so funny every time he'd catch me talking to myself. I bet he would listen for longer than I realize. But every time he would say it in the same way, with an eyebrow slightly cocked and a comical tone of worry, "are you talking to yourself?" sometimes it would be, "do you realize you're talking to yourself?" and completely serious as if we both knew that me talking to myself held the fate of the world I would nod back at him and he would walk away.
When I was a little kid it seemed so justified and so right. I even talked to myself in public without feeling weird about it. Now I never do that. I noticed that as I came into and out of puberty talking to myself began to be self-conscious. Suddenly I couldn't just have a conversation with myself, now there was another me, in my head that was interrupting and making me feel weird about it. It's hard to pick up the momentum of a conversation with yourself once you have stopped it. I have managed to say, "fuck you" to this inner voice and occasionally find myself talking to myself but I've noticed the conversations now are more forced, less exuberant, less funny, and less full of myself, and are mostly my mind.
I believe it is important to embrace your inner monologue though. I know that talking to myself has made me come up with a lot of funny ideas, and also has helped me hash out relationships, and self-revelations easily and more enjoyably.