My toes are numb. And my fingers. And every other appendage on my body, making typing arduous indeed
About 30 hours ago, my depression and desperation collided, leading to a bout of blind panic. It was under the influence of that self-induced frenzy that I realized I was to the point of packing up my 100 favorite people and leaving the United States to live out our days in a school-free, colada-filled tropical paradise (Provodenciales being the island of choice, as it's my mother's favorite.) However, it has come to my attention that this plan, which on Sunday morning seemed so appealing, is littered with physical impracticalities. First off, I have been told that it would be near impossible to maintain the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed due to a lack of money. While I continue to hold my position that all 100 of us could form an economy based upon subsistence farming and tourism, I must acknowledge that I would need initial funding from my parents. Said parents, would, in fact not be at all opposed to the plan were it not for one little thing: the law. Yes, it is, in fact, illegal to not attend school for a reason other than illness or a death in the family (something my dear mother is always quick to point out.) This is why I have abandonned my former plan of fun-in-the-sun for something which I believe to be far more beneficial in the long run, not just to the people I like, but even to those I don't. (It's been about a year now, and I think I am due for another good deed.) That being said, my new plan focusses on the amelioration of the very thing that was the Achille's heel of my old plan: the United States government. I have decided that for one thing, education is important in such a stupidity-ridden country, which is why I am not completely abolishing school. However, once I have infiltrated the idiot-infested White House and taken over the government temporarily, I will immediately perform the actions necessary to revolutionize the institution currently known as public education. In fact, being inspired by Plan #1, I think I will force every school in the United States to adopt a schedule similar to that of the Dutch side of St. Maarten: 9:00 A.M. to noon five days a week, and vacations as usual. Of course, this would mean that incompetent teachers would also have to go. We can't have people like my seventh grade science teacher molding the youth of America. With such a short school day, there simply isn't time. And speaking of, seeing as I only have approximately 24 hours in which to accomplish this monumentous task, I must bid you all adieu.