They Spun Away From Me
It's been an interesting past few day, I'll try to capture as much detail from my memory as possible.
I guess I can start with Saturday morning, waking up in Brandon's bed was... weird but not bad. It was actually nice to cuddle up next to someone again, it made me feel safe and warm... too warm Brandon sweats wayyyy too much. I only slept for a few hours, but the continuous noises of the boulevard and the sun slicing through the curtains like dividers roused me. I trotted out of bed to raid Brandon's kitchen finding a suitable breakfast in cookie crisp cereal. And then the waiting game began, the waiting game for Brandon to get up, and when he got up I got ready and asked him what the plan was... there was none... we were just sitting in his house watching tv on what must have been the first nice day in weeks -groan-. Fed up with this I decided I was going to go to New York and began to pack up my belongings me and Brandon got in a mini tiff until Adam showed up. I love Adam because well he's just so gawsh darn easy to get along with, and he tends to take my side on me and Brandon's arguements haha. So The two of them had work at four so Adam split and Brandon waited with my at the stop... it was then I finally told me about Alex, and how we'd actually dated. At first he was a jerk about it like "oh yah sure pick the jerk over me" I pointed out he was a bit of a jerk as well.. but then he said after a moment of silence "I'm just angry to hear someguy treated you like that." And that made me smile. We kissed goodbye, an action was has become second nature when I'm will him. Kissing him isn't like Alex, with Alex I feel light headed and floaty and giddy. With brandon I feel safe, and easy, not really passionate... atleast not yet. But far from bad.
One impossible bus/subway/train commute later I took the Babylon rail to Seaford, Ried (Genna) my pledge sister lives there and she picked me up from the station screaming "Bryceeeyyy" god it was good to hear my Hofstra name. We had allot of catching up to do and the beautiful day had taken a turn for the worst and it looked as if it were about to monsoon at any second. Back at Ried's house I was fed a delicious home cooked meal and doted on by her family, then we went to one of her friends party where we SUCKED at beer pong, and some kid named Andrew marked me as his target for the night. I got way to tired though and we peaced out thank god. The Next day Ried dropped me off at Lenox and I went to the beach with Turner (Hannah) and the rest of Lenox. How surprised was I to learn the Greg Mills from my highschool was dating one of our Alumni, and was at the beach with us.
I left around 3 for an alch run, followed by another train commute this time to the City to meet my big, and Jared Silverman my favorite gay man at hofstra. Only because he didn't shove the fact that he was gay in your face but rather displays it modestly but with impeciable style. We orginally had planned to eat on this restaurant boat my big had been dying to check out, last time she had went she'd gone with a model, and since the model didn't exactly 'enjoy' the menu, Ellie (my big) had politely taken the same choice a drink only. But yet another moonsoon was making it's way across the harbor so we ran for shelter and then the nearest half decent italian resaurant and mind you I STRESS half decent.
After we made a brief stop at Jared's apartment, which is a beautiful side of town where some of the NYU dorms are, we discussed the idea of getting an apartment together in the city next summer if we all had internships and it sounded.... fantastic, I honestly don't think I could spend another summer in this town... Back to Hofstra after that for the Party... which I wasn't in the mood for, shortly after finishing my wine I crashed in Turner's bed at an absurdly early time of 12:50. Oh well I had to get up at 8 anyway and I still managed to forget my bag of tolietrees.. ugh. Work at Victoria's secret was... dull, and the charm of working at the 'mall' one of my favorite places ever is quickly loosing its appeal. That night I stopped by Bryan's who'd been texting me all day, and then Ben's and...there was Alex... and wes. It was awkward... yah awkward, we ended up leaving (Bryan and I) and wend to Fridays for fatty snackage.
However Ben texted me and say I'm sorry I'm a bummer we'll chill tomorrow. So the next morning after 'clocking into work' I drove over to Ben's house and he served me up an omelett shirtless, I know I've toyed with the idea before but hooking up with ben... bad idea, and highly unlikely or so I thought. After breakfast we went up to his room and just chilled listened to music and talked, which eventually led to talking about our dreams which led to Ben revealing that he had dreamed the night before about hooking up with me... honestly everyone except the one I want...god. Well I came home after that and EN came over and we chuckled over 'How I Met Your Mother' Season 3, loveeee this show. Then shower... and hair... which set off the smoke detecter, which called the firedepartment which was embarassing. Around this time I started talking to Frank, Alex's buddy from school, and filled him in on the whole 'situation' which he reacted in much the same way as everyone else 'shocked' confused' and worried. Meanwhile I cried buckets over my computer and texted Bryan who always makes me feel better, then I texted Alex "Hey you awake still? I really need someone to talk to." No response, I miss him so much. I had so much hope because he sounded so happy last time I talked to him on the phone but... now it's just back to the way it was I want him to wrap his arms around me and I just want to lay there.
Needless to say I didn't sleep for the rest of the night and clocked into work early... -sigh- Eye doctors appointment today, Victoria's secert, and advantage. but I feel so empty.
I guess I can start with Saturday morning, waking up in Brandon's bed was... weird but not bad. It was actually nice to cuddle up next to someone again, it made me feel safe and warm... too warm Brandon sweats wayyyy too much. I only slept for a few hours, but the continuous noises of the boulevard and the sun slicing through the curtains like dividers roused me. I trotted out of bed to raid Brandon's kitchen finding a suitable breakfast in cookie crisp cereal. And then the waiting game began, the waiting game for Brandon to get up, and when he got up I got ready and asked him what the plan was... there was none... we were just sitting in his house watching tv on what must have been the first nice day in weeks -groan-. Fed up with this I decided I was going to go to New York and began to pack up my belongings me and Brandon got in a mini tiff until Adam showed up. I love Adam because well he's just so gawsh darn easy to get along with, and he tends to take my side on me and Brandon's arguements haha. So The two of them had work at four so Adam split and Brandon waited with my at the stop... it was then I finally told me about Alex, and how we'd actually dated. At first he was a jerk about it like "oh yah sure pick the jerk over me" I pointed out he was a bit of a jerk as well.. but then he said after a moment of silence "I'm just angry to hear someguy treated you like that." And that made me smile. We kissed goodbye, an action was has become second nature when I'm will him. Kissing him isn't like Alex, with Alex I feel light headed and floaty and giddy. With brandon I feel safe, and easy, not really passionate... atleast not yet. But far from bad.
One impossible bus/subway/train commute later I took the Babylon rail to Seaford, Ried (Genna) my pledge sister lives there and she picked me up from the station screaming "Bryceeeyyy" god it was good to hear my Hofstra name. We had allot of catching up to do and the beautiful day had taken a turn for the worst and it looked as if it were about to monsoon at any second. Back at Ried's house I was fed a delicious home cooked meal and doted on by her family, then we went to one of her friends party where we SUCKED at beer pong, and some kid named Andrew marked me as his target for the night. I got way to tired though and we peaced out thank god. The Next day Ried dropped me off at Lenox and I went to the beach with Turner (Hannah) and the rest of Lenox. How surprised was I to learn the Greg Mills from my highschool was dating one of our Alumni, and was at the beach with us.
I left around 3 for an alch run, followed by another train commute this time to the City to meet my big, and Jared Silverman my favorite gay man at hofstra. Only because he didn't shove the fact that he was gay in your face but rather displays it modestly but with impeciable style. We orginally had planned to eat on this restaurant boat my big had been dying to check out, last time she had went she'd gone with a model, and since the model didn't exactly 'enjoy' the menu, Ellie (my big) had politely taken the same choice a drink only. But yet another moonsoon was making it's way across the harbor so we ran for shelter and then the nearest half decent italian resaurant and mind you I STRESS half decent.
After we made a brief stop at Jared's apartment, which is a beautiful side of town where some of the NYU dorms are, we discussed the idea of getting an apartment together in the city next summer if we all had internships and it sounded.... fantastic, I honestly don't think I could spend another summer in this town... Back to Hofstra after that for the Party... which I wasn't in the mood for, shortly after finishing my wine I crashed in Turner's bed at an absurdly early time of 12:50. Oh well I had to get up at 8 anyway and I still managed to forget my bag of tolietrees.. ugh. Work at Victoria's secret was... dull, and the charm of working at the 'mall' one of my favorite places ever is quickly loosing its appeal. That night I stopped by Bryan's who'd been texting me all day, and then Ben's and...there was Alex... and wes. It was awkward... yah awkward, we ended up leaving (Bryan and I) and wend to Fridays for fatty snackage.
However Ben texted me and say I'm sorry I'm a bummer we'll chill tomorrow. So the next morning after 'clocking into work' I drove over to Ben's house and he served me up an omelett shirtless, I know I've toyed with the idea before but hooking up with ben... bad idea, and highly unlikely or so I thought. After breakfast we went up to his room and just chilled listened to music and talked, which eventually led to talking about our dreams which led to Ben revealing that he had dreamed the night before about hooking up with me... honestly everyone except the one I want...god. Well I came home after that and EN came over and we chuckled over 'How I Met Your Mother' Season 3, loveeee this show. Then shower... and hair... which set off the smoke detecter, which called the firedepartment which was embarassing. Around this time I started talking to Frank, Alex's buddy from school, and filled him in on the whole 'situation' which he reacted in much the same way as everyone else 'shocked' confused' and worried. Meanwhile I cried buckets over my computer and texted Bryan who always makes me feel better, then I texted Alex "Hey you awake still? I really need someone to talk to." No response, I miss him so much. I had so much hope because he sounded so happy last time I talked to him on the phone but... now it's just back to the way it was I want him to wrap his arms around me and I just want to lay there.
Needless to say I didn't sleep for the rest of the night and clocked into work early... -sigh- Eye doctors appointment today, Victoria's secert, and advantage. but I feel so empty.