Beirut and Breakfast at Angie's
So yesterday morning after a sleepless night I decided to paint a picture, but of what I wasn't sure.... After watching secret life of Bee's I thought allot about Alex and how he had lost Gabe and what loosing someone could do to you. So I decided to paint the picture of Gabe and Alex, I sent myself a picture of the duo at prom and then one of them when they were younger at camp. Since I hadn't slept I just changed and trotted out to the white knight, I was pulling out of the driveway when my mother burst of the door in her PJs, "Where are you going?!" she was having a fit because she caught me on the tredmill the night before and thought I was manic. No such luck momma, only on addies, I took it far too late in the afternoon. So after coming her down a bit I went to school, a little to early everything was locked so I went home and forced myself to eat a bowl of apple cinnamon cheerios, then back to school the only person I recognized was Sam Warner who gave me a great big hug, he reminds me so much of Luci when he was young. Mrs Mannheim was more than happy to help me, so I got to work tracing, in the ceramic room. I left a bit later to go home and paint, only to realize I didn't have brushes... which led me back to MASCO and to steal brushes...ahh I'm such a Klepto. I spent the rest of the morning painting instead of working, then lin came over around 1 to watch Secret Life of Bees with me, I loveee that movie. We had plans for later I was far too into my painting though.
I had work at 2:30 or atleast I thought so...and thus I lin left at 2 unfortunatly for me I had work at 1:30... shit. At Victoria's a play the role of "Dumb, Cute, Quirky Sales Girl," which means giggeling and laughing it off, I really do love working there though! I got out at 5:00 realitvally unscathed and called lin, she came over and we watched the rest of Secret Life of Bees, (while I painted of course) we started getting ready around 8 and started driving to meet Cricket, I finished my painting as well and was pretty proud of it. But yet... it seemed silly, how much would it hurt if he laughed at it, or ripped it up... but I brought it anyway planning on dropping it off on the way. I called and then procedded to text Alex but he didn't answer, I knew I'd have to drop it off at the house the next day but it didn't bother me too much. Then Cricket called, -don't come get me fighting with mom- then -do come get me only don't have a car- then -don't come for real- So we were planless... and thinking quick we had two options, A.) go to the midnight showing of transformers with EN...and tim/gio (cringe) or B call up Morgan and see what was going on in the port.
Obviously we went with option B.) which led us to Morgan's Dad's house, with Morgan, Tommy who we renamed (TTM or Tommy the Man), Anc (who I called Hank all night), Zach, some random boy who was flirting with Lin, and then Becca, who got very excited when she saw me and was very drunk. Apparently she worked at joes I couldn't remember because at the time I worked... saw taylor... and ignored everyone else. We played Beirut which I'm becoming better and better at the key is not to think and to use your elbow proprly haha. I partnered up with Zach same as at Josh's and we had a pretty good strict, Lin wasn't exactly fantastic at the whole thing though which was kinda cheap of me when I got bored and decided that we play Strip Pong. It was a close competition until the end, Zach and I won with two articles of clothing left, being my underwear and plants, and zacks boxers and pants, Morgan and Lin lost though the wouldn't commit to completely stripping not that I minded, but it was fun to tease them. After we finished of the beer, it was chill time, I didn't really do anything with Morgan except an impromptu makeout sesh in the kitchen, but I crashed on the couch shortly there after leaving him to cuddle with Anc and very dissappointed. I just don't 'care' right now, I gave Brandon a bit of a drunk dial, being all sweet and talking about thursday, I even through an I love you in there I'm quite a jerk. I am excited to see him though I must admit.
The next day we woke up and Lin and I got breakfast at Angies, I loveeeeee Angies, well generally a good breakfast after a good night is ideal, french toast and homefries, yumyum. It was back to the house after that where I cleaned up a bit and packed up Al's present in Victoria's Secret Bag along with a shirt I had borrowed (ironically his run for gabe shirt), Then I wrote a note. "Hey Al, I would have much rather given this to you in person but new york calls. Anyway I basically don't sleep in summer, no idea why,but since I can remember when I can't sleep I paint. The other night I was painting and started thinking about Caitlyn, and about how surreal it is that she'd not here. When I'm at homr or at hofstra it doesn't bother me but to this day when I go back to Conneticut I catch myself wanting to call her, or talking about her in present tense, or thinking of what she was up to and catching myself too late. My point is I thought about how coming home must be for you and how this is your first summer without Gabe. So I painted you this picture of the two of you. Ironically I found your shirt today, I really miss you and care about you. I'll be there, or go on adventures or just play a game of beer pong (I promise I'm actually really good). -always C." I was driving home when he called me back. He called my painting gorgeous, I was glowing, I am rarely complimented on my art. Then we got to talking about, Alicia and what's going on in our lives, it was easy and light, and he laughed, an unforced genuine alex laugh. It was like a weight being lifted from my chest. But I hung up only 10 minutes into talking, I didn't want to ruin it. Shortly there after I texted him
C: "Oooh btw did you like the quote?"
AA: "I loved it :-)"
C: "Yay! I thought you would :)"
AA: "What made you pick it?"
C: "I reminded me of you, and how you always laugh and smile and try to have the best time you can even when you're upset And I wanted to embody it in the painting, because the pictures I referenced were both perfect moments captured forever on film and how no matter how sad you get or what happens no one can steal those moments from you."
AA: :-)! Wow what you said is beautiful and means alot to me
C: "I'm glad :), though it's only the truth."
AA: "Well thank you :-) it means so much to me."
C: "You're more than welcome."
The quote I wrote was from one of my favorite books, The Time Traveler's wife by Audrey Niffenegger.
"We laugh and laugh, and nothing can ever be sad, no one can be lost, or dead, or far away: right now we are here, and nothing can mar our perfection, or steal the joy of this perfect moment."
It really is a beautiful quote.
I feel so light now, tomorrow I go to New York, and tonight Lazer Quest with Bryan, En, Bryant, and Josh. I'm pretty excited, and I think truly happy... for the first time in a few weeks.
I think he finally understands how I feel, how I genuinely care about him, and it's not just me using him, or wanting him, I love him like a friend, and as long as we are friends that's all I need. For now and forever, our time wasn't now... and it may never be, and I'm okay with that, happy even. What will be will be.
I had work at 2:30 or atleast I thought so...and thus I lin left at 2 unfortunatly for me I had work at 1:30... shit. At Victoria's a play the role of "Dumb, Cute, Quirky Sales Girl," which means giggeling and laughing it off, I really do love working there though! I got out at 5:00 realitvally unscathed and called lin, she came over and we watched the rest of Secret Life of Bees, (while I painted of course) we started getting ready around 8 and started driving to meet Cricket, I finished my painting as well and was pretty proud of it. But yet... it seemed silly, how much would it hurt if he laughed at it, or ripped it up... but I brought it anyway planning on dropping it off on the way. I called and then procedded to text Alex but he didn't answer, I knew I'd have to drop it off at the house the next day but it didn't bother me too much. Then Cricket called, -don't come get me fighting with mom- then -do come get me only don't have a car- then -don't come for real- So we were planless... and thinking quick we had two options, A.) go to the midnight showing of transformers with EN...and tim/gio (cringe) or B call up Morgan and see what was going on in the port.
Obviously we went with option B.) which led us to Morgan's Dad's house, with Morgan, Tommy who we renamed (TTM or Tommy the Man), Anc (who I called Hank all night), Zach, some random boy who was flirting with Lin, and then Becca, who got very excited when she saw me and was very drunk. Apparently she worked at joes I couldn't remember because at the time I worked... saw taylor... and ignored everyone else. We played Beirut which I'm becoming better and better at the key is not to think and to use your elbow proprly haha. I partnered up with Zach same as at Josh's and we had a pretty good strict, Lin wasn't exactly fantastic at the whole thing though which was kinda cheap of me when I got bored and decided that we play Strip Pong. It was a close competition until the end, Zach and I won with two articles of clothing left, being my underwear and plants, and zacks boxers and pants, Morgan and Lin lost though the wouldn't commit to completely stripping not that I minded, but it was fun to tease them. After we finished of the beer, it was chill time, I didn't really do anything with Morgan except an impromptu makeout sesh in the kitchen, but I crashed on the couch shortly there after leaving him to cuddle with Anc and very dissappointed. I just don't 'care' right now, I gave Brandon a bit of a drunk dial, being all sweet and talking about thursday, I even through an I love you in there I'm quite a jerk. I am excited to see him though I must admit.
The next day we woke up and Lin and I got breakfast at Angies, I loveeeeee Angies, well generally a good breakfast after a good night is ideal, french toast and homefries, yumyum. It was back to the house after that where I cleaned up a bit and packed up Al's present in Victoria's Secret Bag along with a shirt I had borrowed (ironically his run for gabe shirt), Then I wrote a note. "Hey Al, I would have much rather given this to you in person but new york calls. Anyway I basically don't sleep in summer, no idea why,but since I can remember when I can't sleep I paint. The other night I was painting and started thinking about Caitlyn, and about how surreal it is that she'd not here. When I'm at homr or at hofstra it doesn't bother me but to this day when I go back to Conneticut I catch myself wanting to call her, or talking about her in present tense, or thinking of what she was up to and catching myself too late. My point is I thought about how coming home must be for you and how this is your first summer without Gabe. So I painted you this picture of the two of you. Ironically I found your shirt today, I really miss you and care about you. I'll be there, or go on adventures or just play a game of beer pong (I promise I'm actually really good). -always C." I was driving home when he called me back. He called my painting gorgeous, I was glowing, I am rarely complimented on my art. Then we got to talking about, Alicia and what's going on in our lives, it was easy and light, and he laughed, an unforced genuine alex laugh. It was like a weight being lifted from my chest. But I hung up only 10 minutes into talking, I didn't want to ruin it. Shortly there after I texted him
C: "Oooh btw did you like the quote?"
AA: "I loved it :-)"
C: "Yay! I thought you would :)"
AA: "What made you pick it?"
C: "I reminded me of you, and how you always laugh and smile and try to have the best time you can even when you're upset And I wanted to embody it in the painting, because the pictures I referenced were both perfect moments captured forever on film and how no matter how sad you get or what happens no one can steal those moments from you."
AA: :-)! Wow what you said is beautiful and means alot to me
C: "I'm glad :), though it's only the truth."
AA: "Well thank you :-) it means so much to me."
C: "You're more than welcome."
The quote I wrote was from one of my favorite books, The Time Traveler's wife by Audrey Niffenegger.
"We laugh and laugh, and nothing can ever be sad, no one can be lost, or dead, or far away: right now we are here, and nothing can mar our perfection, or steal the joy of this perfect moment."
It really is a beautiful quote.
I feel so light now, tomorrow I go to New York, and tonight Lazer Quest with Bryan, En, Bryant, and Josh. I'm pretty excited, and I think truly happy... for the first time in a few weeks.
I think he finally understands how I feel, how I genuinely care about him, and it's not just me using him, or wanting him, I love him like a friend, and as long as we are friends that's all I need. For now and forever, our time wasn't now... and it may never be, and I'm okay with that, happy even. What will be will be.