When you're on your own.

Feb 04, 2011 13:35

“Sian, please don’t leave me!” Tears streaked down my face and I couldn’t control the sobs that shook my body.

The one person that I needed the most was walking away from me. I stumbled along behind her, watching her blonde hair dance about in the wind as she continued the journey to the bus stop.

“Sian!” I croaked out between sobs.

She didn’t turn around. Instead, Sian continued down the cobbled street, lifting the bags higher up her shoulders and clenching her lips in a tight line to prevent her own tears from escaping. Sian knew that if she let them fall then they wouldn’t be able to stop, and she needed to be strong for Sophie.

By now the tears were coursing in rivers down my cheeks and my throat felt raw and sore. Through blurry eyes, I saw Sian approach the bus stop and plonk her bags down on the damp cobbles. She leaned heavily against the shelter; her back towards me and her arms hugging herself tightly.
I drew in a shaky breath and closed the short distance between us. I roughly brushed away the tears as I came around to face her.

“Sian?” I whispered.

I tried capturing her gaze but her eyes stayed glued to the floor. I couldn’t handle this, my heart was breaking into a thousand pieces and my chest tightened unbearably, making it difficult to breathe.

“Sian please.” My voice cracked and fresh tears spurted down my face.

Hearing the pain in my voice Sian looked up quickly, her teeth clamped down hard on her bottom lip. Seeing the state I was in she rushed forward and enveloped me in a tight hug. I breathed in her sweet, flowery scent and hugged her back even tighter. I squeezed my eyes shut and concentrated on her slow, rhythmic breathing and the sound of her faint heartbeat through her clothing.

“Soph, please don’t cry” she breathed in my ear.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and tightened my hold against her body. “Sian you can’t go!"

I felt her lips brush against my forehead, leaving a warm, damp patch that caused my skin to tingle.

“Soph, don’t do this please.” Sian’s voice rumbled against my ear.

A tiny spark of anger ignited in my stomach and I pulled away so I could look in those deep, blue eyes.

“Do what Sian? What am I doing wrong? I need you! Y-you don’t understand how much I need you!” A sob wracked my body and I leant back against the side of the shelter, my body trembling violently.

Sian’s own eyes filled with tears, which slowly trailed down her delicate cheeks. She lifted a hand to brush them away before taking a deep ragged breath. “Soph, please! Y’know I don’t wanna leave you bu-“

“Well why are you? You don’t have to Sian! Look, if this is about me skipping College, I promise I wont do that again! Sian, I’ll be better I promise. Just don’t leave me please! Please don’t leave me…” I drew in great shaky sobs that caused my raw throat to ache painfully.

Sian couldn’t stop her own tears from falling. She reached out and took my icy hand in hers, entwining out fingers together. “Soph, I’m never going to leave you ok? It’s just… I think it’s best if we have space to work things out y’know? You need to sort things out with your family and now that my mothers taking an interest in me again I need to start talking to her.” Sian’s voice was trembling slightly but I could tell she was trying to be strong.

From down the street I saw the distant lights of the approaching bus. My heart began to beat furiously against my ribcage and panic clutched at my throat. I tightened my grip in Sian’s hand. Sian looked up and I saw panic flood her own eyes as she caught sight of the fast approaching bus.

“No, you’re not leaving!” I gasped, clasping her hand even tighter.

Sian’s eyes looked back at me painfully. “Come ere.” She whispered, pulling me into her warm chest.

I wrapped my arms around her slender waist, relishing in her warmth. “You don’t have to -“

“Shh Soph! Stop making this difficult for me!” Sian interrupted, almost begging.

I could now hear the deep rumble of the bus. I closed my eyes forcefully and wished that Sian would turn around and say that she would stay. That we would return to my house hand in hand with a huge smile on both our faces. That my dad never had a stupid affair that had literally tore my family apart in front of my eyes. That everyone was happy and life was simple for just this once. I wished this with all my heart until I felt as if I could literally burst with the effort. But I should know by now, wishes and prayers do not work.

“Soph,” her voice fluttered in my ear causing the usual butterflies to flutter in my stomach. “I’ve got to go.”

My heart sank and a huge lump blocked my airways. She pulled away and I saw that the bus had ground to a halt and its doors were flung open, waiting to take away the one and only person I needed the most.

I began shaking my head violently, fresh tears coursing down my cheeks as panic overwhelmed me. “Sian please, I promise I’ll cope better. I’ll go to college Ok. I will! Just don’t go!"

I suddenly felt Sian’s lips crash against mine, and I instantly swept my tongue against hers. I wanted this moment to last forever, but good things never last. Pretty soon Sian pulled away and rested her forehead against mine. We stared into each other’s eyes both of us gasping for breath. Sian reached out and lightly traced a finger around my lips. “I love you.” She murmured.

I took a deep breath. “I love you an all.” My voice broke on the last word.

“You getting in love?” the driver’s harsh voice broke through our bubble.

I glared at him before turning back to see Sian picking up her bags. She turned back to face me and lightly placed a final kiss on my lips before getting on the bus. My heart was breaking. I could feel each piece tearing away and believe me it was the worst pain ever.

Sian paid the driver and wandered to the back of the bus ignoring the curious glances of the other passengers as they took in her distressed state and the tears running down her cheeks.

As the bus began pulling away I felt my knees buckle as a huge sob wracked my body. Sian had turned around so she could continue looking at me as the bus drove off. Tears were soaking both our faces and as I watched her get taken further and further away she mouthed the words. “I love you." I mouthed them back.

The bus turned the corner and Sian was gone. I was alone. Tears blinded my vision and I suddenly found myself kneeling on the cold cobbles. A pained groan escaped my lips as the tears fell to the ground like rain from a storm cloud.

--TBC--<3

-fanfic, -sophie/sian

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