ok here goes!!!

[pinkfre4ko]

I dunno why i bother writing my feelings down on this P.O.S journal, although sometimes it makes me feel a lil better. I've been like so depressed here lately. I try to tell myself to just get over it and get on with my life but it's really hard for me

Comments

[runninfool7786]

Kayla, I've actually felt the exact same way you do before. Especially after I moved to Monticello. But you've just gotta put yourself out there and meet some new people. I personally wanted to just stick with my old friends who I was comfortable with, but once I decided to just go and get a job at Indiana Beach, I made so many friends, several that I know are going to be lifelong friends.

I know you're extremely busy with planning the wedding (it's going to be AMAZING!) and you're at a very major point in your life, but know that you're still in your prime, and over the years you're going to make SO many friends that will last forever. You're just the type of person who easily makes friends and people want to be around you. You're magnetic! If people don't see that when they meet you then they're just weird. :\

And in response to you're comment about "I'm not the prettiest girl on the block"...well, that's beyond ridiculous! You are GORGEOUS. Don't put yourself down when it's not true, because sooner or later you'll believe it. And I know you're going to make such a beautiful bride. Chad will be bowled over!

But you were right about the second part of your comment. You do have a heart full of love. You always have. The entire time I've known you, you've gone out of your way to support other people and be there for them. Take all of our singing competitions, for example! Always rushing to hear other people do their solos! :) I think you put other people first SO much, that you probably need to take a "KAYLA" day, and spend it at a spa or something like that. You deserve it!

I know this has been an extremely long comment, but my point is, don't let people bring you down, and don't let them make you think you're anything less than amazing and beautiful. Because you are, and you encompass everything in those two words. I hope you feel better. :)

P.S.--I will always be your friend, kayla! I know geographically and emotionally we're not as close as we used to be, but you will always be a very important person to me, and a very important friend. Any time you need to talk or vent, get a hold of me. My cell number is (765)265-3779. :)

[pinkfre4ko]

awwwwww Emily that was sooooo sweet!!! I agree about the whole getting out there thing. It's just really hard when youve known these people for so long and they are no longer in your life. Craziness. I dont know why i have this big fear of people rejecting me but i do. I am gonna have to stand up for myself instead of holding back! Thanks for the comment. It means a lot to hear from friends!

Kayla