Eat. Fuck. Kill.
It's about that time again!!!!!! Fresh new episode means fresh new bitching!!! I still like episode 2 the best so far but episode 3 is better than episode 1. Where do we start?
Ah...yes. Dazed and confused Eric. Sookie doesn't immediately pick up that there was something very off about Eric this particular night. Infatuated by Sookies's 'Faery Febreeze', Eric gets closer, wanting to sample that wheat, honey and sunlight. Sookie speeds off and then stops when she sees that Eric is no longer in her rearview. He then pops out of nowhere and grabs at Sookie, who makes it out of the car through the passenger's side and runs. Of course she doesn't get too far when Eric catches up to her and she proceeds to punch him in the nose. She starts bitching(barely 10 minutes in and she's already irritating me), I guess thinking that Eric was trying to trick her again.
Sookie we understand that Eric has pulled some shit on you before but geez! Can you not see how out of sorts his demeanor is right now? Sookie get back on your saucy horse immediately. I really don't get what the writers are doing with Sookie. It's like they don't know who they want her to be. I have no care for doormat Sookie or self-absorbed Sookie. I want that independent biatch who's fierce! IMO, the writers make her come off as annoying and then we see a glimpse of that strong woman, but it quickly disappears. They need to get their continuity together ASAP.
After being called 'Snookie' Sookie finally asks Eric what is going on and has him try to recall what happened. After going off on a foreign tangent(which was quite sexy), Eric begins to recount how he got mindfucked by this...
Sookie says she'll help him as long as he promises not to bite her, blah blah blah. You know, Sookie's usual list of demands. Eric tells her that he is grateful to which she replies, "Whatever."
Eric can never seem to get along with Sookie's rug.
Sookie calls Pam I Am while we are treated to another awesome sight.
Pam gets to Sookie's house immediately and she doesn't hesitate for damage control. She informs Sookie that Eric needs to be hidden because he is in danger by the witches who did this. Cue Sookie going on about witches and how this isn't her problem. Pam also asserts that Her Highness set Eric up to go into that coven and that this isn't the first time that he tried to get rid of Eric. Cue Sookie saying it was because Eric tasted her and in a sense defending the Asshat King. Cue Pam's reaction face which is strikingly similar to mine.
We feel it too, Pam I Am. Sookie agrees to look after Eric, but I guess she changes her mind when she goes to see Alcide to try and pawn him off. It was very nice to see Alcide, though it was very short. I guess Sookie was happy to see him too since she was primping that side ponytail of hers. However she immediately got shot down.
Ta-da bitch.
A blonde, sober, Jesus Take The Wheel Debbie Pelt? I'm starting to miss that velcro skirt and bikini top already. Alcide informs Sookie that he and Debbie are back together playing house. Debbie tries to apologize to Sookie for trying to kill her and all and goes in for physical contact. Sookie reluctantly accepts the hug... with a hint of fear. I don't blame you Sookie, the last time you saw this woman, she was sporting a 'Why so serious?' face.
Sookie hurries out, realizing that the year time lapse has slapped her in the face again. Alcide goes after her, but Sookie assures him that she'll deal with the Eric situation on her own. Alcide should be aware that this Born Again Debbie isn't gonna last very long. Credit to the fact that she's off her rocker. I wouldn't be surprised if she and Crystal became BFF's.
Speaking of Crazy Crystal... Jason is in Hotshot looking like this.
I really feel for Jason. He is basically being used to breed for a bunch of inbred hicks, being fed Mexican Viagra. And Addict Andy is too busy trying to run down Sam with his car to put two and two together. Which just shows that anybody can be a damn cop in Bon Temps.
This guy.
Hotshot, please die in a fucking fire immediately.
Meanwhile, Sam and Tommy's storylines go further down the crapper.
To ease the pain, maybe you should visit - http://www.vamps-kill.com/ - Don't forget that hyphen!
YouTube now has blatant staged vampire attack videos to further the hate? Steve Newlin would be so proud... wherever he is... because he's missing - http://fellowshipofthesun.org/
However, the Queen Of The Damned still has that stick up his ass.
The vampire in the video defends his actions by means of entrapment, but Her Highness isn't having it. He orders the death on him. The vampire requests a trial via The Auithority and Queen Bill informs him that he is the authority.That, you are not. Seriously, how much longer do we have to see him playing pretend? The queen is then surprised by a visit from Jessica, who informs him that she cheated on Hoyt. Because if anyone has relationship troubles, the first person to talk to is Bill Compton. He says a bunch of useless shit that is supposed to be perceived as meaningful and at the end of it all, you hear a vampire being executed in the background. Touching. Bill gets it it on with Portia later.
Jessica heads home and seeing Hoyt holding that creepy doll just spells all kinds of wrong. Hoyt asks Jessica why she didn't throw out the doll like he asked her. Jessica replies that she did throw it in the lake. They pause for a moment to soak up the weirdness and Jessica proceeds to tell Hoyt about her recent trip to Fangtasia. Hoyt of course is not pleased and they both begin to argue. Jessica realizes that its all going downhill from here and gives Hoyt the glamour stare. Hoyt catches on immediately, tells her to stop and turns to get away. Unfortunately Jessica catches up with him, Hoyt puts up a fight but it doesn't last for long, Jessica locks eye contact and proceeds to erase it all from his mind. I know folks, VERY fucked up. But mark my words, sooner or later, Hoyt is gonna be made aware that he was glamoured.
Speaking of the creepy doll, look where Jessica dumps it this time. Called it!
The witches aren't too happy with how Eric(who looks Aryan apparently) went BAMF in their coven and want to take action. LaFayette is trying to talk them down reminding them that Eric is not the one to mess with. Marnie's random backbone pops up again and she is pissed with how things went down as well. Defending the practice of their religion, however keeping mum about how exactly she did what she did.. LaFayette ironically retorts that Eric will never forget about what happened.
Laffy does try to take the matter into his own hands, despite Tara and Jesus' objections, and heads to Fangtasia to talk it out with Pam I Am, who was not pleased. We are treated to the Fangtasia dungeon yet again and Tara and Jesus come along with...
Ginger!!!
Tara catches Pam's attention by pointing a gun with wooden bullets at her. Tara and Jesus tells Pam that they can fix all of this since they are on the ins with the coven. Jesus informs Pam that he is a brujo which sends Ginger into a screaming frenzy. Awesome. Pam I Am gives them 24 hours to deliver or:
"I will personally eat, fuck and kill all three of you."
Pam, you betta werk!
Marnie-Petunia enjoyed her taste of supreme power so much that she could give a shit about her dead bird Minerva anymore. She wants to be a vessel for the other side and wants to welcome the spirit that possessed her into her body. She goes on about how her whole life has been meaningless and she wants that meaning right now. I could of been a contender, I could of been somebody! Suck it Lily.
And just like that, Marnie receives a visitor.
Be careful what you wish for Marnie.
To top off the episode, Eric drains Claudine. However I don't think that this is the last we'll see of her. If it is, that will be very odd.
Oops.
And that's my rant on episode 3 - Later Lovers!
Ah...yes. Dazed and confused Eric. Sookie doesn't immediately pick up that there was something very off about Eric this particular night. Infatuated by Sookies's 'Faery Febreeze', Eric gets closer, wanting to sample that wheat, honey and sunlight. Sookie speeds off and then stops when she sees that Eric is no longer in her rearview. He then pops out of nowhere and grabs at Sookie, who makes it out of the car through the passenger's side and runs. Of course she doesn't get too far when Eric catches up to her and she proceeds to punch him in the nose. She starts bitching(barely 10 minutes in and she's already irritating me), I guess thinking that Eric was trying to trick her again.
Sookie we understand that Eric has pulled some shit on you before but geez! Can you not see how out of sorts his demeanor is right now? Sookie get back on your saucy horse immediately. I really don't get what the writers are doing with Sookie. It's like they don't know who they want her to be. I have no care for doormat Sookie or self-absorbed Sookie. I want that independent biatch who's fierce! IMO, the writers make her come off as annoying and then we see a glimpse of that strong woman, but it quickly disappears. They need to get their continuity together ASAP.
After being called 'Snookie' Sookie finally asks Eric what is going on and has him try to recall what happened. After going off on a foreign tangent(which was quite sexy), Eric begins to recount how he got mindfucked by this...
Sookie says she'll help him as long as he promises not to bite her, blah blah blah. You know, Sookie's usual list of demands. Eric tells her that he is grateful to which she replies, "Whatever."
Eric can never seem to get along with Sookie's rug.
Sookie calls Pam I Am while we are treated to another awesome sight.
Pam gets to Sookie's house immediately and she doesn't hesitate for damage control. She informs Sookie that Eric needs to be hidden because he is in danger by the witches who did this. Cue Sookie going on about witches and how this isn't her problem. Pam also asserts that Her Highness set Eric up to go into that coven and that this isn't the first time that he tried to get rid of Eric. Cue Sookie saying it was because Eric tasted her and in a sense defending the Asshat King. Cue Pam's reaction face which is strikingly similar to mine.
We feel it too, Pam I Am. Sookie agrees to look after Eric, but I guess she changes her mind when she goes to see Alcide to try and pawn him off. It was very nice to see Alcide, though it was very short. I guess Sookie was happy to see him too since she was primping that side ponytail of hers. However she immediately got shot down.
Ta-da bitch.
A blonde, sober, Jesus Take The Wheel Debbie Pelt? I'm starting to miss that velcro skirt and bikini top already. Alcide informs Sookie that he and Debbie are back together playing house. Debbie tries to apologize to Sookie for trying to kill her and all and goes in for physical contact. Sookie reluctantly accepts the hug... with a hint of fear. I don't blame you Sookie, the last time you saw this woman, she was sporting a 'Why so serious?' face.
Sookie hurries out, realizing that the year time lapse has slapped her in the face again. Alcide goes after her, but Sookie assures him that she'll deal with the Eric situation on her own. Alcide should be aware that this Born Again Debbie isn't gonna last very long. Credit to the fact that she's off her rocker. I wouldn't be surprised if she and Crystal became BFF's.
Speaking of Crazy Crystal... Jason is in Hotshot looking like this.
I really feel for Jason. He is basically being used to breed for a bunch of inbred hicks, being fed Mexican Viagra. And Addict Andy is too busy trying to run down Sam with his car to put two and two together. Which just shows that anybody can be a damn cop in Bon Temps.
This guy.
Hotshot, please die in a fucking fire immediately.
Meanwhile, Sam and Tommy's storylines go further down the crapper.
To ease the pain, maybe you should visit - http://www.vamps-kill.com/ - Don't forget that hyphen!
YouTube now has blatant staged vampire attack videos to further the hate? Steve Newlin would be so proud... wherever he is... because he's missing - http://fellowshipofthesun.org/
However, the Queen Of The Damned still has that stick up his ass.
The vampire in the video defends his actions by means of entrapment, but Her Highness isn't having it. He orders the death on him. The vampire requests a trial via The Auithority and Queen Bill informs him that he is the authority.That, you are not. Seriously, how much longer do we have to see him playing pretend? The queen is then surprised by a visit from Jessica, who informs him that she cheated on Hoyt. Because if anyone has relationship troubles, the first person to talk to is Bill Compton. He says a bunch of useless shit that is supposed to be perceived as meaningful and at the end of it all, you hear a vampire being executed in the background. Touching. Bill gets it it on with Portia later.
Jessica heads home and seeing Hoyt holding that creepy doll just spells all kinds of wrong. Hoyt asks Jessica why she didn't throw out the doll like he asked her. Jessica replies that she did throw it in the lake. They pause for a moment to soak up the weirdness and Jessica proceeds to tell Hoyt about her recent trip to Fangtasia. Hoyt of course is not pleased and they both begin to argue. Jessica realizes that its all going downhill from here and gives Hoyt the glamour stare. Hoyt catches on immediately, tells her to stop and turns to get away. Unfortunately Jessica catches up with him, Hoyt puts up a fight but it doesn't last for long, Jessica locks eye contact and proceeds to erase it all from his mind. I know folks, VERY fucked up. But mark my words, sooner or later, Hoyt is gonna be made aware that he was glamoured.
Speaking of the creepy doll, look where Jessica dumps it this time. Called it!
The witches aren't too happy with how Eric(who looks Aryan apparently) went BAMF in their coven and want to take action. LaFayette is trying to talk them down reminding them that Eric is not the one to mess with. Marnie's random backbone pops up again and she is pissed with how things went down as well. Defending the practice of their religion, however keeping mum about how exactly she did what she did.. LaFayette ironically retorts that Eric will never forget about what happened.
Laffy does try to take the matter into his own hands, despite Tara and Jesus' objections, and heads to Fangtasia to talk it out with Pam I Am, who was not pleased. We are treated to the Fangtasia dungeon yet again and Tara and Jesus come along with...
Ginger!!!
Tara catches Pam's attention by pointing a gun with wooden bullets at her. Tara and Jesus tells Pam that they can fix all of this since they are on the ins with the coven. Jesus informs Pam that he is a brujo which sends Ginger into a screaming frenzy. Awesome. Pam I Am gives them 24 hours to deliver or:
"I will personally eat, fuck and kill all three of you."
Pam, you betta werk!
Marnie-Petunia enjoyed her taste of supreme power so much that she could give a shit about her dead bird Minerva anymore. She wants to be a vessel for the other side and wants to welcome the spirit that possessed her into her body. She goes on about how her whole life has been meaningless and she wants that meaning right now. I could of been a contender, I could of been somebody! Suck it Lily.
And just like that, Marnie receives a visitor.
Be careful what you wish for Marnie.
To top off the episode, Eric drains Claudine. However I don't think that this is the last we'll see of her. If it is, that will be very odd.
Oops.
And that's my rant on episode 3 - Later Lovers!