We will always have that dance in your mothers basement.
I am glad mallory introduced me to you. You are the love of my live and I ruined you.
I wish I could go back and change everything, but I can't
As you can see in that other journal, but if for some reason you can't see it, here it is
I sit here, after we threaten each other. Your threats are to piss me off and make me want to stay away. Mine are out of desperation.
When I came back to you in june, I told you I wanted to be with you for the rest of our days.
I wanted to be like the couple in the notebook with you.
If you get old and I have to put you in diapers everyday and feed you and walk you around, I would do it everyday because I love you.
I made mistakes in our relationship.
I doomed it, and somehow I saw that you wanted to believe it could work again. The relationship can still work despite what you are told.
You just have to believe and just be observant.
I cannot change the past crystal. I can't go back to 2004 and start school fulltime and get my bachelors by next year. I can't go back and stop brandon from telling me to break up with you.I cannot go back and stop myself from having those conversations with kelly. I can't go back and change the priority my friendship with malice had. I can't go back and tell you I was going to hangout with Bek. I can't go back and stop showering with Val. I cannot go back and never have hungout with valerie luzsc. I can't go back and wipe away all your tears you had. I cannot go back and stop calling you stacey and stop yelling at you. I can't go back and not throw the phone at you or try to get violent with you. I can't go back and stop myself from holding money and things I've done and given you over your head.
I can only change the future.
I will get my associates degree and then my bachelors degree. I will get a nice job for a company making more than 75k a year once I'm thirty. I will drive a new car and have a nice classic car to work on in my garage. I will own a house or have a condo. I will move out of michigan. I will better myself and loose this flab. I will get a even skin tone. I will regain my patience and virtue.
I will never let anyone talk me into breaking up with you again. I will never have lewd conversations with anyone or share naked pictures. I will never prioritize any other girl above you. I will always tell you and invite you to go hangout with me if there is a girl, and I will never go meet anyone new on myspace. I will never shower with anyone else besides you and quee queg. I'll never hangout with any girls in attempt to make you jealous again. I will always wipe away your tears, I will never call you by your mothers name and never yell at you. I'll never throw anything at you or try to be violent with you. I'll never hold money I've spent and good things I've done for you over your head.
All we have now is time.
You work and will try to go to school and hopefully move out.
I work and I go to school and I will move out.
I do not want to meet anyone else.
This isn't because of routine.
A routine is a daily thing thats true, but it is rarely sparatic. You are not routine, or mundane and you are very arbitrary.
I know when I hurt you I was no longer how I was to you from the begining of the relationship.
I know that since all these things have happened in the last month, you decided that you never want to be around me.
I know I kept calling you and saying bullshit to you.
I am scared and I was shaking when I drove over.
When I talked to you on the phone, I had your computer in my car. I obviously took it back and hooked it on the internet to post this.
I see you've deleted me from your friends on myspace. You tell me you care, and I cannot take a hint. Never make hints. Just explain. You will never love me like you did, and yet you told me the night you kicked me out that you thought things were going to work out. If so crystal, then the name calling resulted in you thinking otherwise.
You know I called you those names because I was hurt by what you said. I know you said those things to incite something within me. I guess you didn't know it would spark anger.
I apologized for that and I apologize again.
I love you
I will leave you alone now.
but always remember, I love you
Remember friday I'm in love.
You know, I always listened to that when I drove home from at redford coin?
I am glad mallory introduced me to you. You are the love of my live and I ruined you.
I wish I could go back and change everything, but I can't
As you can see in that other journal, but if for some reason you can't see it, here it is
I sit here, after we threaten each other. Your threats are to piss me off and make me want to stay away. Mine are out of desperation.
When I came back to you in june, I told you I wanted to be with you for the rest of our days.
I wanted to be like the couple in the notebook with you.
If you get old and I have to put you in diapers everyday and feed you and walk you around, I would do it everyday because I love you.
I made mistakes in our relationship.
I doomed it, and somehow I saw that you wanted to believe it could work again.
The relationship can still work despite what you are told.
You just have to believe and just be observant.
I cannot change the past crystal. I can't go back to 2004 and start school fulltime and get my bachelors by next year. I can't go back and stop brandon from telling me to break up with you.I cannot go back and stop myself from having those conversations with kelly. I can't go back and change the priority my friendship with malice had. I can't go back and tell you I was going to hangout with Bek. I can't go back and stop showering with Val. I cannot go back and never have hungout with valerie luzsc. I can't go back and wipe away all your tears you had. I cannot go back and stop calling you stacey and stop yelling at you. I can't go back and not throw the phone at you or try to get violent with you. I can't go back and stop myself from holding money and things I've done and given you over your head.
I can only change the future.
I will get my associates degree and then my bachelors degree. I will get a nice job for a company making more than 75k a year once I'm thirty. I will drive a new car and have a nice classic car to work on in my garage. I will own a house or have a condo. I will move out of michigan. I will better myself and loose this flab. I will get a even skin tone. I will regain my patience and virtue.
I will never let anyone talk me into breaking up with you again. I will never have lewd conversations with anyone or share naked pictures. I will never prioritize any other girl above you. I will always tell you and invite you to go hangout with me if there is a girl, and I will never go meet anyone new on myspace. I will never shower with anyone else besides you and quee queg. I'll never hangout with any girls in attempt to make you jealous again. I will always wipe away your tears, I will never call you by your mothers name and never yell at you. I'll never throw anything at you or try to be violent with you.
I'll never hold money I've spent and good things I've done for you over your head.
All we have now is time.
You work and will try to go to school and hopefully move out.
I work and I go to school and I will move out.
I do not want to meet anyone else.
This isn't because of routine.
A routine is a daily thing thats true, but it is rarely sparatic.
You are not routine, or mundane and you are very arbitrary.
I know when I hurt you I was no longer how I was to you from the begining of the relationship.
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I know I kept calling you and saying bullshit to you.
I am scared and I was shaking when I drove over.
When I talked to you on the phone, I had your computer in my car. I obviously took it back and hooked it on the internet to post this.
I see you've deleted me from your friends on myspace.
You tell me you care, and I cannot take a hint.
Never make hints. Just explain.
You will never love me like you did, and yet you told me the night you kicked me out that you thought things were going to work out. If so crystal, then the name calling resulted in you thinking otherwise.
You know I called you those names because I was hurt by what you said. I know you said those things to incite something within me. I guess you didn't know it would spark anger.
I apologized for that and I apologize again.
I love you
I will leave you alone now.
but always remember, I love you
Remember friday I'm in love.
You know, I always listened to that when I drove home from at redford coin?
Reply
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