I really need to try...
Okay, I am going to have to try all day to study my very hardest....I wonder if I do this journal to distract myself from that studying...What do you think? If I were me, reading these journal entries I would probably think that a negligable bitch either is a lazy cunt or has ADD. I try not to place blame for my laziness on other people. Honestly, I do.
Sometimes though I blame my teachers. Actually, now that I think about it, I blame my teachers so much that when I am in the process of verbally bashing them, I don't know anymore whether or not they even deserve it. It has become more of a routine.
But anyways, I will just get my feelings out here and then I will spend the whole afternoon and night studying, especially since I have a fucking presentation this week. And a fucking essay the next. God how fucking lame.
Isn't it odd how sometimes we wish that there were more days in the month/week and then other times we wish that the days in the month/week were already over?
I am wondering what if I cannot do the shit that I need to for my classes, what is going to happen to me? Honestly. I want to become a teacher. Can't really do that if I drop out of college. You know, I think the real reason why I can't drop out of college is because I can't work simple jobs. By that I don't mean that I don't want to. I mean that I freak out to much and get really stressed at those jobs because they don't give you very much instruction and I suck at customer service.
I remember I worked at Baskin-Robbins for a summer and I almost died. It was the hardest thing ever.
Is there something wrong with me?
Probably.
I'd be lucky if there was.
I've started smoking since I've been in LA. In the beginning I used to think every time I lit up, about lung cancer. However, now I don't....that's bad. Alright, well I should go. And eat, and study. Two things I need to do. One of them I do too much, and it's not the first one.
Sometimes though I blame my teachers. Actually, now that I think about it, I blame my teachers so much that when I am in the process of verbally bashing them, I don't know anymore whether or not they even deserve it. It has become more of a routine.
But anyways, I will just get my feelings out here and then I will spend the whole afternoon and night studying, especially since I have a fucking presentation this week. And a fucking essay the next. God how fucking lame.
Isn't it odd how sometimes we wish that there were more days in the month/week and then other times we wish that the days in the month/week were already over?
I am wondering what if I cannot do the shit that I need to for my classes, what is going to happen to me? Honestly. I want to become a teacher. Can't really do that if I drop out of college. You know, I think the real reason why I can't drop out of college is because I can't work simple jobs. By that I don't mean that I don't want to. I mean that I freak out to much and get really stressed at those jobs because they don't give you very much instruction and I suck at customer service.
I remember I worked at Baskin-Robbins for a summer and I almost died. It was the hardest thing ever.
Is there something wrong with me?
Probably.
I'd be lucky if there was.
I've started smoking since I've been in LA. In the beginning I used to think every time I lit up, about lung cancer. However, now I don't....that's bad. Alright, well I should go. And eat, and study. Two things I need to do. One of them I do too much, and it's not the first one.