Fic: Temptation (1/1)
Title: Temptation
Fandom: Brothers & Sisters
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairing: Kevin, implied Kevin/Jason
Word Count: ~800
Spoilers: 2.08, before the lobster
Disclaimer: I don't own Brothers & Sisters.
Authors Notes: Thanks to cindergirlgrimm for the beta.
Summary: Another dark and lonely night for Kevin
Temptation
He could still hear him laughing.
Except it didn’t sound like Jason anymore. The laugh was colder, harsher, than Jason’s and instead of making him feel all warm and fuzzy inside it repulsed him.
These were the dreams he hated the most. The ones were he and Jason were together, properly together. In the same room together, not on different continents together. They had been laughing and joking, kissing and cuddling, just being together. It wasn’t the dreams themselves that he minded, just the feeling of complete and utter helplessness that inevitably followed. Now he was alone, again, being taunted by a voice laughing at him from inside his head.
He lay in his bed, their bed, trying to stem the flow of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. The disappointment of finding Jason still gone was starting to fade away, only to be replaced with anger. He loved Jason, he spent all day thinking about him, and he thought Jason loved him to. He had promised to wait, promised to remain faithful, and for what? Over two months without a word. No phone-call, no letters, not even a text message before he got on the plane.
And now he knew Jason was able to contact people. He had spoken to Robert twice and yet he hadn’t heard from him in weeks.
He was thirsty but fought the urge to get out of bed. If he did he may have to punch something, or rip one of the few photos he had of the two of them in half…or perhaps he should draw a stupid moustache on Jason so he looked as stupid as Kevin felt.
He had started spending as much time away from the apartment as possible. He stayed at work until there was nothing left on his desk, then he would go and stop with Sarah or his mom if Paige and Cooper were at home. All of them pretending that they didn’t see what he was doing. Their smiles that of course he could stay if he wanted, betrayed by the concern in their eyes.
They knew that Scotty was staying at his apartment; but most of them had trouble believing that he really was sleeping on an air mattress in the sitting room.
He was grateful that they didn’t say anything to him though, although he had his suspicions that they were discussing him behind his back. Walking into the room and bringing the entire Walker clan to an immediate hush was rarely a good sign.
The arguments that he had had with his family were coming back, but now, instead of little separate family tiffs easily overcome they were all muddled together. All with the same result, some were old, some more recent. Sarah making fun of him when Jason first left, fighting with Saul about being lonely, even old arguments with Robert when Kitty first set them up. He had made it very clear he didn’t want Kevin anywhere near Jason- that he wasn’t good enough for him. Had his McCallister now come to the same conclusion as his brother?
Another laugh had now replaced the one that was taunting him. This one was close by and comforting and that alone was sending alarm bells ringing in his head. Scotty was laughing at something on the TV. Kevin dared not move. His anger with Jason was slowly dissipating but had not faded enough that he trusted himself to not do something he would regret in the morning.
He was sick of spending every-night alone. It was easier to become distracted and forget during the day. But at night, it always caught up with him. The helplessness, the loneliness, the unease that perhaps Jason didn’t love him as much as he had claimed to. Surely, he would have called? What was to stop him getting out of bed and choosing Scotty? He was there, he knew they both still had feelings for each other and Kevin knew that Scotty would always ring when he said he would.
That’s what his dad would have done. William not being content enough with the love of one person would have succumbed to another woman’s charms. Is this what it felt like for his dad? Working all those weekends away? Was it the loneliness that drove him into Holly’s arms? Or was he just trying to invent himself an excuse, to justify the need to feel loved.
Turning over he curled up into a ball underneath his quilt, drowning out the sounds of Scotty in the next room. He deliberately turned his back on Jason’s half of the bed.
He used to do the same thing as a little kid- don’t look, don’t think, don’t feel- block out everything that you don’t want to see…or in this case everything that you can’t see.
My B&S Master-List can be found here.
Fandom: Brothers & Sisters
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairing: Kevin, implied Kevin/Jason
Word Count: ~800
Spoilers: 2.08, before the lobster
Disclaimer: I don't own Brothers & Sisters.
Authors Notes: Thanks to cindergirlgrimm for the beta.
Summary: Another dark and lonely night for Kevin
Temptation
He could still hear him laughing.
Except it didn’t sound like Jason anymore. The laugh was colder, harsher, than Jason’s and instead of making him feel all warm and fuzzy inside it repulsed him.
These were the dreams he hated the most. The ones were he and Jason were together, properly together. In the same room together, not on different continents together. They had been laughing and joking, kissing and cuddling, just being together. It wasn’t the dreams themselves that he minded, just the feeling of complete and utter helplessness that inevitably followed. Now he was alone, again, being taunted by a voice laughing at him from inside his head.
He lay in his bed, their bed, trying to stem the flow of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. The disappointment of finding Jason still gone was starting to fade away, only to be replaced with anger. He loved Jason, he spent all day thinking about him, and he thought Jason loved him to. He had promised to wait, promised to remain faithful, and for what? Over two months without a word. No phone-call, no letters, not even a text message before he got on the plane.
And now he knew Jason was able to contact people. He had spoken to Robert twice and yet he hadn’t heard from him in weeks.
He was thirsty but fought the urge to get out of bed. If he did he may have to punch something, or rip one of the few photos he had of the two of them in half…or perhaps he should draw a stupid moustache on Jason so he looked as stupid as Kevin felt.
He had started spending as much time away from the apartment as possible. He stayed at work until there was nothing left on his desk, then he would go and stop with Sarah or his mom if Paige and Cooper were at home. All of them pretending that they didn’t see what he was doing. Their smiles that of course he could stay if he wanted, betrayed by the concern in their eyes.
They knew that Scotty was staying at his apartment; but most of them had trouble believing that he really was sleeping on an air mattress in the sitting room.
He was grateful that they didn’t say anything to him though, although he had his suspicions that they were discussing him behind his back. Walking into the room and bringing the entire Walker clan to an immediate hush was rarely a good sign.
The arguments that he had had with his family were coming back, but now, instead of little separate family tiffs easily overcome they were all muddled together. All with the same result, some were old, some more recent. Sarah making fun of him when Jason first left, fighting with Saul about being lonely, even old arguments with Robert when Kitty first set them up. He had made it very clear he didn’t want Kevin anywhere near Jason- that he wasn’t good enough for him. Had his McCallister now come to the same conclusion as his brother?
Another laugh had now replaced the one that was taunting him. This one was close by and comforting and that alone was sending alarm bells ringing in his head. Scotty was laughing at something on the TV. Kevin dared not move. His anger with Jason was slowly dissipating but had not faded enough that he trusted himself to not do something he would regret in the morning.
He was sick of spending every-night alone. It was easier to become distracted and forget during the day. But at night, it always caught up with him. The helplessness, the loneliness, the unease that perhaps Jason didn’t love him as much as he had claimed to. Surely, he would have called? What was to stop him getting out of bed and choosing Scotty? He was there, he knew they both still had feelings for each other and Kevin knew that Scotty would always ring when he said he would.
That’s what his dad would have done. William not being content enough with the love of one person would have succumbed to another woman’s charms. Is this what it felt like for his dad? Working all those weekends away? Was it the loneliness that drove him into Holly’s arms? Or was he just trying to invent himself an excuse, to justify the need to feel loved.
Turning over he curled up into a ball underneath his quilt, drowning out the sounds of Scotty in the next room. He deliberately turned his back on Jason’s half of the bed.
He used to do the same thing as a little kid- don’t look, don’t think, don’t feel- block out everything that you don’t want to see…or in this case everything that you can’t see.
My B&S Master-List can be found here.