[FIC] Heaven is a Place On Earth * 9A/15
Title: Heaven is a Place On Earth (HPOE)
Length: (9A/15)
Author: pinkelatta
Rating: G
Warning: This fic takes some artistic license with religious and sexual themes - if you find this offensive, please do not continue. I decided to exercise more restraint with this fic so that it doesn't spiral out of control. There will be only 15 chapters, barring any mishaps, and every chapter will be titled for a part of the lyrics of the main theme song (this is an important element). There may be other songs added to the soundtrack from time to time to go with each chapter. Some familiarity with the basic tenets of Christianity will be useful.
Summary: it was all very simple and straightforward. A battle between good and evil - just like every other battle between good and evil there ever was, there ever had been. In fact, it was so simple that even the movies always made it look a whole lot more complicated than it really was.
Good VS Evil.
Angel VS Devil.
It would have been over in the swish of a wing.
This time, however, they'd reckoned without love.
PART A
I'll Protect You
Sung by.. Kim Jaejoong
Lyrics by.. Kim Jaejoong
I can’t look at you even when I have my eyes open
I can’t find your heart which has become cloudy amongst the worn out memories
I can’t do more because I’m tired and cried too much
No matter how much I think, I think I’ll be okay when if I see you
I want to protect you… even your bad habits make me smile when I’m tired
Although it may be difficult, I’m going to say that I love you until the day you first come into my arms
I can’t smile, I can’t remember even when I smile…
today also feels like it may disappear like a dream when I open my eyes
Even when I see you, I feel like you aren’t with me
I guess I’m still awkward at expressing my feelings… to love you
I want to protect you… even your bad habits make me smile when I’m tired
Although it may be difficult, I’m going to say that I love you until the day you first come into my arms
Will you become happy when you leave me to find a different warmth?
Even so I can’t let you go baby
It’s going to hurt even more than dying
I love you.. more than anyone… no, I’m next to you
I’m holding your hand
I can’t give you to anyone else’s arms… my heart cannot let you go… why
*****
Cr. withJYJ.wordpress.com
Click to listen to soundtrack for this chapter Jaejoong's I'll Protect You
Imagine Yunho singing the chorus in yellow above, while Jaejoong sings the rest.
Jaejoong woke to a silent house, feeling like one who had emerged from a deep pool of energy-sapping water into an empty clearing devoid of life. If hours had passed, then he didn't know where they had gone. If sleep had indeed graced his eyelids, he wasn't sure what effect it had been intended to have. Pulling himself upright in bed, he dressed slowly, studying the bruises that mottled his arms and neck before covering them all up with a shirt.
"You're up."
He turned in the direction of the quiet voice, seeing Yunho framed in the doorway. His hair was tousled, his face weary. A need for response tugged inside him, but he couldn't think of anything to say.
"Are you hungry?"
Jaejoong gave the suggestion some consideration, but his stomach seemed uncontactable. He guessed it meant he must not be very hungry. He shook his head.
"You should still eat a little. When was the last time you ate?"
Jaejoong couldn't recall. Yunho didn't press the question, taking it upon himself to steer him to the kitchen where some nondescript takeout boxes sat waiting. It took some coaxing and Yunho pushing chopsticks between Jaejoong's fingers to get a little into his mouth, whereupon Jaejoong set the cutlery down and pushed the rest of the box away.
Yunho watched Jaejoong's listless attempt at eating, wishing for a moment that he could just run a pipe into him and get the food in that way. Sighing, he got up to fetch a cup of warm water instead.
"At least drink some water."
Jaejoong took an obedient gulp, immediately set the cup down and ran to the bathroom, hand cupping his mouth.
Racing after him, Yunho stopped right outside the bathroom door as he heard only retching and heaving as Jaejoong threw up whatever it was he had inside him. The sound of running water, then a bout of coughing, spitting and more vomiting. It took a while before the last round of running water ceased, and another few seconds before a pale-faced Jaejoong re-opened the door.
"Are you... okay?" Yunho realised how absurd his question was even as it left his lips. Grabbing a towel, he handed it to Jaejoong.
He took it, lips moving with an inaudible murmur of thanks, and shuffled back to bed.
He stayed there for three days, refusing food and taking only the barest minimum of water. Between Changmin and Yunho, they didn't know what to do except take turns to watch over him as he drifted between sleep and wakefulness. In his waking moments, he stared blankly out of the window at the sliver of blue sky visible outside, wrapped in a blanket of silence that excluded them both.
"Can't you read his mind?" Yunho found himself asking Changmin exasperatedly at one point.
Changmin's legs were propped up on his coffee table in his favourite reading position devouring a Japanese comic book. Without looking up, he answered, "Actually, I can."
"So why aren't you doing anything?" Yunho's incredulity rooted him to the spot, even though his hands wanted to grab the taller man by the crewneck of his shirt.
"He's praying."
"He's what?"
"I said he's praying."
"What about?" Yunho knew prayer. Prayer was something you uttered intending to communicate with God, in the hope of achieving... something. How much really could one have to say to God? Besides, wasn't God supposed to know everything already? And even if He did, it wasn't like He was going to answer.
"No," Changmin smoothly put a fullstop to the questions jumbled inside Yunho's head.
"Hey, watch it. I asked you to read Jae's mind, not mine."
"I didn't ask to be able to read yours," Changmin shot back placidly. "You think too loud."
Yunho didn't have the retort he needed, but he supposed he didn't need to say it for Changmin to know.
"Prayer is a conversation with God. God does know everything. It's you who needs to know when you can go to Him and unload what is on your mind. When you speak with Him, it is you who recognises your need for Him, you who opens your eyes and ears to listen for what He has to say to you. God is always talking to you - it is you who are not listening to Him."
"So you're saying that Jae is talking to God right now, like, having a three-day conversation?"
Changmin shut his manga deliberately. "Well. That, it seems, is exactly the problem. It seems that Jae can't hear God the way we're used to."
On the fourth day, Yunho watched as Jaejoong left the room for the first time. He went about what had originally been his morning routine: starting the coffee machine, rinsing plates, drying hands, setting table, checking toaster, moving from kitchen counter to table as if by clockwork.
Not a word.
The table was set for two instead of three. He made two sets of toast, two cups of coffee and retrieved four eggs from the refrigerator. A quick stir-fry and two sets of perfectly scrambled eggs appeared on two dishes. An expert scrubdown of the pan and quick rub-dry of his hands later, the cook began his exit.
"Hey, you're not... hey, are you going to work? Hey..."
There was no answer as he soundlessly slipped from the kitchen.
"Yah, I'm talking to you," he caught up with Jaejoong and grabbed him by the arm, spinning him around to face himself. "What are you doing to yourself?"
Jaejoong turned away without even meeting Yunho's eyes, continuing on his path to the bedroom as if nothing had happened.
Yunho lost it.
Stalking into the room behind the fair-haired man, Yunho pulled him into the bathroom by the arm, forcing him under the shower and turning it on so that the water hit Jaejoong full in the face and soaked them both.
"What are you doing to yourself? Huh? Can you see yourself? What are you trying to do, not eating, not drinking, not talking, not working? Is this how you're going to live?" Yunho barked through strands of dripping hair over the roar of the water.
Jaejoong ran a hand over his face, brushing the fine white-blonde strands and water out of it and met Yunho's eyes squarely for the first time in days.
"Talk to me, go on, say something!" challenged Yunho, pleading in his mind for Jaejoong to break. To shout at him, to cry, to react in any way at all. He searched the large dark eyes for any semblance of anger, or sadness... or anything.
Nothing.
Jaejoong merely looked at Yunho as if he were a stranger for a long moment, blinked then proceeded to disentangle himself from his wet grasp, stand and leave the bathroom.
Left alone under the running showerhead, Yunho had only the white tiled wall to take it out on.