Daily special: Tuna
Hm. So i have not written in a while. Im feeling a sense of "Confusion" and not too sure how to cope with it. I dont even know what to write in here. Its been so long that i express any emotion to anyone, i feel so alone.. and its my fault. So to update, my mother had to take my dog to get put to sleep because she would only cry all day and my mom coulnt take it anymore. I feel so bad. Now rocks is all alone and he just looks so depressed. Why is life so depressing? Not only for humans, but for everything. Its such a piece of shit, does it ever get better? The answer is no, im realizing. Its one thing after another, one death after another, just fucking rainy days turning into storms. And to top all that off, i have to be an asshole to everyone that i love. It doesnt make any sense? Why cant i just forgive people as easily as they forgive me? There's nothing special or different about me that would make me in any which way superior to anyone. And thats how i act. I know it, so why cant i control it? Can it be that im such a evil person that i cant even take the time to fucking learn from my mistakes, mean what i say and keep my promises? Whats so fucking hard about that??? UH. I make me sick. I need to open my eyes and see what i have in front of me and quit bitching about all this useless, pointless shit that doesnt even matter. Ive lost my dignity and my mind. I know what i want now. I need to focus on what matters the most to me right now. Work , getting back to school, focusing on my future, starting a GOOD relationship with my parents, and gaining Jake back in my life. These are my goals. I will complete them.