not for sale
i guess its about that time again...time for another update...im sure youve all been sitting on the edge of your seats waiting to see what i have to say next...*winks* ...well here it is...
so mostly i've been working like crazy...its been really fun though...by sunday though im dead beat...it makes for a long weekend...but its good... and lets just say fridays and saturdays make it all worth it...*winks*...more about that later when something actually happens...
sunday night i got grounded for staying out past curfew...and yes i was out with david...and yes i know what you are thinking...what were you doing at two in the morning? just hanging out kids...i just didnt want to go home...and thus i am stuck at home for another 5 days...but eh its not so bad...i studied a lot for government today...and got some cleaning done...very little cleaning but some...
anyways as far as david goes...i can't really tell you whats going on because i dont really know...i mean were not dating but were not just friends...i dont really know what it is...but its not going to turn into anything more because as read in my previous entry...i more than likely will be leaving for california in a couple of months...and i refuse to have someone back here waiting for me...and i guess thats the bottom line...it sucks but its the way it is yknow...
whats meant to be will always find a way...
and now you are thinking...well what about kyle? the thing with kyle is that nothing is happening...its very much on hold right now...im not really sure why...it just is...and yes we are still going to prom together and all that good stuff...but just nothing is happening...its not bad...its not good...its just nothing...so noone should get hurt either way right? nothing is happening with david...and nothing is happening with kyle...
how can you get so confused about nothing?
okay so i guess ill add mike into the picture real quick...he's the guy at penney's that im interested in...we talk...we flirt...but again...nothing is happening...i mean i only see him two days a week so of course things are going to go really really really slow...but i've got a feeling...if you know what i mean...*winks*...well see...but again...i'm leaving...
so we are left with nothing...
then theres prom...thats coming up in about a week and a half...and at first i was not looking forward to it...dont get me wrong...im excited to be going with kyle and i think we will have a really good time together...i just know my friends and im afraid its going to cause more drama than its worth...but i have to say as time passes things are falling into place and im getting more and more excited...and hopefully my outfit is going to be super awesome...well see tomorrow...*looks anxious*
well i guess thats about all...i've been thinking a lot about pepperdine and college lately...its really weird...but i just know its all going to work out...its a total God thing and i don't have any control at all... i was ready this girls journal the other day and she had a quote in there about walking with God by Beth Moore...so now i shall steal it...
"A profound change occured in my daily approach to God when I realized that God wanted me to walk with Him. For years I asked God to walk with me. Talk about the clay trying to spin the Potter! I wanted to take my feet of clay and walk where my heart led and count on the Potter to bless my sweet-if-selfish little heart. My clay feet got scorched walking through some trrible fires sparked by the misguided passion of my own heart. Finally I realized God's blessing would come when I did what He said. For safety and the pure enjoyment of God, we are so wise to learn to walk with God instead of begging Him to walk with us."
so think about it...its been on my mind a lot lately...and now a song...
This One's For You (You Know Who You Are)
by Underscore
All we need is.
Coffee and cigarettes.
New flames and old regrets.
What more could you ask for.
Cheap wine and poetry dream.
You laying here with me.
The times that I live for.
And someday I'll get out of this place.
And watch the tears melt all the makeup off your face.
So slowly but surely so jaded.
I wont take this Heart breaking pain with me.
So forget me Can't you see we're falling apart.
Blowing kisses in the wind and laughing back at you.
As I fly away from here.
There is no storybook ending.
Just ruined lives and broken hearts.
I don't know why I keep pretending.
I should have left you from the start.
Coffee and cigarettes new faces to forget.
Broken frames with your picture.
And every night's the same.
some bad things never change.
All the right words at all the wrong times.
I'm never better only suffering for you dear.
You know its gonna be a close call if you fear.
That I'm the only one who holds the key.
To breaking up your heart I think the hero.
dies in this one I think.
I know who killed him off I bet its your fault.
so mostly i've been working like crazy...its been really fun though...by sunday though im dead beat...it makes for a long weekend...but its good... and lets just say fridays and saturdays make it all worth it...*winks*...more about that later when something actually happens...
sunday night i got grounded for staying out past curfew...and yes i was out with david...and yes i know what you are thinking...what were you doing at two in the morning? just hanging out kids...i just didnt want to go home...and thus i am stuck at home for another 5 days...but eh its not so bad...i studied a lot for government today...and got some cleaning done...very little cleaning but some...
anyways as far as david goes...i can't really tell you whats going on because i dont really know...i mean were not dating but were not just friends...i dont really know what it is...but its not going to turn into anything more because as read in my previous entry...i more than likely will be leaving for california in a couple of months...and i refuse to have someone back here waiting for me...and i guess thats the bottom line...it sucks but its the way it is yknow...
whats meant to be will always find a way...
and now you are thinking...well what about kyle? the thing with kyle is that nothing is happening...its very much on hold right now...im not really sure why...it just is...and yes we are still going to prom together and all that good stuff...but just nothing is happening...its not bad...its not good...its just nothing...so noone should get hurt either way right? nothing is happening with david...and nothing is happening with kyle...
how can you get so confused about nothing?
okay so i guess ill add mike into the picture real quick...he's the guy at penney's that im interested in...we talk...we flirt...but again...nothing is happening...i mean i only see him two days a week so of course things are going to go really really really slow...but i've got a feeling...if you know what i mean...*winks*...well see...but again...i'm leaving...
so we are left with nothing...
then theres prom...thats coming up in about a week and a half...and at first i was not looking forward to it...dont get me wrong...im excited to be going with kyle and i think we will have a really good time together...i just know my friends and im afraid its going to cause more drama than its worth...but i have to say as time passes things are falling into place and im getting more and more excited...and hopefully my outfit is going to be super awesome...well see tomorrow...*looks anxious*
well i guess thats about all...i've been thinking a lot about pepperdine and college lately...its really weird...but i just know its all going to work out...its a total God thing and i don't have any control at all... i was ready this girls journal the other day and she had a quote in there about walking with God by Beth Moore...so now i shall steal it...
"A profound change occured in my daily approach to God when I realized that God wanted me to walk with Him. For years I asked God to walk with me. Talk about the clay trying to spin the Potter! I wanted to take my feet of clay and walk where my heart led and count on the Potter to bless my sweet-if-selfish little heart. My clay feet got scorched walking through some trrible fires sparked by the misguided passion of my own heart. Finally I realized God's blessing would come when I did what He said. For safety and the pure enjoyment of God, we are so wise to learn to walk with God instead of begging Him to walk with us."
so think about it...its been on my mind a lot lately...and now a song...
This One's For You (You Know Who You Are)
by Underscore
All we need is.
Coffee and cigarettes.
New flames and old regrets.
What more could you ask for.
Cheap wine and poetry dream.
You laying here with me.
The times that I live for.
And someday I'll get out of this place.
And watch the tears melt all the makeup off your face.
So slowly but surely so jaded.
I wont take this Heart breaking pain with me.
So forget me Can't you see we're falling apart.
Blowing kisses in the wind and laughing back at you.
As I fly away from here.
There is no storybook ending.
Just ruined lives and broken hearts.
I don't know why I keep pretending.
I should have left you from the start.
Coffee and cigarettes new faces to forget.
Broken frames with your picture.
And every night's the same.
some bad things never change.
All the right words at all the wrong times.
I'm never better only suffering for you dear.
You know its gonna be a close call if you fear.
That I'm the only one who holds the key.
To breaking up your heart I think the hero.
dies in this one I think.
I know who killed him off I bet its your fault.