(no subject)
It seems I only come to you journal when life again is at a standstill. Things let me down, I feel like hope is lost. Again, my path feels uncertain and unflailing. For once I had resigned to my position- I would keep my job, move to Chicago in a year and it would all be fine. And then out of nowhere an opportunity reared its head and I jumped on it, got too excited, apparently shat the interview to shit and in turn, didn't get the job. With every new opportunity I become too excited too soon, rationalize that finally THIS must be the reason all of those other things didn't work out, etc. etc. But no, that occasion never comes.
I need to prove to myself that I'm making something of Heather. She's too good to just be a blip on the radar of life. Maybe I could resign to be more stylish or well kept. Maybe I can learn everything about advertising and make something of myself sooner or later. Ughh. Why won't someone...anyone, just give me a chance? Stink.
But I'll leave this entry positively, as I'm vowing to do with everyday of my life from here on it- count all of my blessings and appreciate how much in my life is great. I have some great friends here in NZ- and some returning soon!- parents and a Samuel that love me, I am in excellent health and have the world at my feet. I am really lucky.
I need to prove to myself that I'm making something of Heather. She's too good to just be a blip on the radar of life. Maybe I could resign to be more stylish or well kept. Maybe I can learn everything about advertising and make something of myself sooner or later. Ughh. Why won't someone...anyone, just give me a chance? Stink.
But I'll leave this entry positively, as I'm vowing to do with everyday of my life from here on it- count all of my blessings and appreciate how much in my life is great. I have some great friends here in NZ- and some returning soon!- parents and a Samuel that love me, I am in excellent health and have the world at my feet. I am really lucky.