(no subject)

[pinkbananana]

Okay so Ive been thinking alot lately, so Im just going to write it. So here goes. First off, I want to start with a question. Have you ever been in a completely awkward situation, and just like bailed on it. Maybe with a friend, or in a conversation or something like that, and you just couldnt think what to do, so you just bailed on it? Now for the people that know me, this probably doesnt sound like something I would do, but for once I did it. I just couldnt stand it, and I am in fact amazed at myself. I feel like such a loser. I caused the situation and I cant stand up to it now. Ahhh sometimes I feel like yelling at myself. But whatever, moving on from that. What I also feel, besides anger, is fear. Fear of school. What am I going to do when i get out of high school. What if I dont get accepted to college. What do I want to do in life. What if i dont succeed??? These questions have all been running through my head, and I still have like a year left of school. It totally sucks. I have been stressed out like crazy thinking about everything. And there seems to be nothing to help me out...someone help please! Lol. Just tell me that everything is going to be alright, and if all else fails that I can wait on tables the rest of my life....which would suck....so i dont want to end up like that. Oh yea, and then something else I have been thinking about alot lately is the stupid war in Iraq. And yes, i understand why its going on, and dont fully support it, but everytime I hear about some american soldier dying or getting shot, I cant help but think that it might be my brother. Its the freakiest thing in the world to think, and then to not be able to know for sure if hes alright until the next time he calls totally sucks. But when he calls, he makes it sound like hes on vacation. And for someone to have that kind of stregnth totally amazes me. But I guess in a situation like that, you have to be strong, otherwise you will fall apart. And thinking of his situation over there and then comparing it to mine, makes me feel like the biggest loser ever for even thinking some of the situations in my life are a big deal, when they're really not. Did that make sense? Oh well if it didnt. My mind is going a million miles an hour and I cant keep up....whoops. Too much sugar at bedtime. Heehee now I sound like 5 years old. Which I wish I could go back to. The nice days of naps, and recess, and things of that manner. Man I see kids at work, and how excited they get over a balloon, and its just like crazy to me. Like how something so simple can be so brilliant to them...okay well now Im just babbling, so Im going to go. Feel free to comment...and try to be as cool at tim. :) At least someone cares enough to comment on my boring ramblings. lol
*Whats your answer?
ana