Another Bad Day!!!!!!!!
I saw the stupid shrink today. I hate him. His name is Jack. At least that's what he wants me to call him. He acts like were friends! It got kinda annoying!!! Anyway, I started talking about how the school year was and all and u know what he said?!? He said stuff like i have low self esteem, friends that aren't always there for me, no confidence, and that the "Sarah/Rianna incident" (as he calls it)hurt me really badly. Oh, and that since I feel left out, I should include myself in other people's plans. Like I'm really gonna do that! I can't just say, "Oh, you guys are going to the mall. I'm coming." I decided not to listen to that part of his "diagnosis".
I know I act like I'm over *him* and all...but in reality, I'm still in love with him. I've really really tried to get over him!!! But I just can't!!! I keep telling myself that it's over, if there ever was anything at all. I keep telling myself that he's a jerk, that I never really cared about him anyway, but I can't let myself forget and forgive. At least not him. I've tried to forget about him. I even tried the "keep youself busy and you won't think about him" thing, but nothing seems to work!
I had another day today where all I wanted to do was die. My family ignored me, my friends that I saw acted like they didn't care, and I didn't eat anything except a slice of pizza all day. Lately, it feels like the more I'm around people, the less they care about me. Right now, I'm starving, but I don't want to eat. Somethings wrong with me!! I can't figure it out, the doctors can't figure it out, my friends and family don't care enough to notice that somethings wrong. Maybe I'm slowly dying. I don't know. Maybe I should just die right now and save myself the pain of a slow death. No one would even care if I was gone. They probably wouldn't even notice!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!!!!!!
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