(no subject)
This might be my last real entry for a while and I'll probably pull away from most people and I thought an explanation was deserved...
Last night I received some bad news from my grandmother about her health. It's a possibility I'll lose her a lot sooner than I thought. The fact that I'm three hours away from her kills me and I spent a good twenty minutes hysterical last night and then went to get wasted to numb the feeling. It's all I can think about. I've confided in a handful of friends who I know understand why it hurts me so bad and who I know will listen to me cry knowing they can't make me feel better. Last night I saw someone who was an amazing friend to me when I needed her and all I wanted to do was cry on her shoulder and tell her I love her and that I'm sorry we fought and I wish she was back in my life. Hearing the news about my grandma realized that fighting over something so miniscule in life is pointless and holding a grudge because of some stupid pride is even more pointless. Friends and family are all we have in our life and when we lose our family, our friends are there to pick us back up. I was going to go home for only two weeks but I decided I want to spend my entire month there and be there for my grandma when she needs me. She's being a lot stronger than I am which makes me love her even more. She is my life and as of right now... I want to pull myself away from a lot of people so I can be there more for my family. I'm going to keep my close friends but other than that... I'll be very MIA for the next month.