venting
It's been forever since i last posted on here I guess we only use our journals when no one is there for you to speak with when you have to let shit out,stuff that people will never understand about you =[.It's been a month now since i have been talking to my ex the love of my live him and I have been going at it for 7 years now and 3rd time should be a charm right?It just sucks that he's miles away from me the one person whom I feel has been here for me always and it sucks that he's just so far away.Okay so what happens when I fight with him who do I have to speak with frankly no one I try telling my bestfriend im depressed and what do I get?Loser okay i'm not perfect sorry not what i was fishing for,but it's the response i got from him the same night he comes home and instead of asking how are you engage conversation he didn't even bother i guess i just somehow didn't deserve that much.It just sucks i could be botherd by something and just have no one to talk to about it I just really have to suck it up and forget about it.I hate holding shit in I like to talk,i love advice i guess the thought that someone is actually listening shows that they care.I don't think my bestfriend takes me seriously and it sucks I have just stoped even bothering i mean seriously why bother someone who frankly doesn't give a flying fuck if im happy,sad etc?I'm aware that people have their own problems but fuck what about me im not perfect and I sometimes need someone to talk to.I guess I'll just start writing in my journal again vent on here and let shit out.I'm not fishing for new friends or pity in anyway.I just want to be taken into consideration once in a while.I'm there for other and put up with shit that i shouldn't have to so why can't you sit down and talk to me for atleast 5 mins is it to much to ask for?You know I hate being fake I to hide my sadness with a smile a simple laugh and no one ever knows.I cry because i care,i try to be a good friend and maybe im not good enough.I think im done here im tired,sad the whole nine yards