Potentiality Knocks
While engaged in a desperate struggle to find my old uniform skirt from high school (I wanted to see if it still fit) I found a laptop bag full of peer critiques from my Fiction 1 workshop…which I guess had to be my first semester sophmore year of college.
Instantly I was overcome with nostalgia for a place I haven't left yet.
Premature nostalgia…if nostalgia is even what it is.
What is the name of that feeling you get when it really clicks that who you are and where you are and what you’re doing in this moment can never be replicated. The feeling that you get when you realize you are on the cusp of possibility. Life is set to start soon…and it can be anything. It could be terrible, short, stilted, tired.
It could be lovely, amazing, fresh, limitless.
It can be everything, it can be nothing.
It can be.
What do you call that feeling you feel when you realize that the place you are standing is really not that bad but you know you have to keep moving? Even though what's ahead could be anything at all and you know the view will never be as wonderful as it is right here in this spot?
Staying in one spot for too long is being dead and life is here.
There’s no more When I grow up I want to….
You’re there. This is it.
In the distance, so close you can touch it, is the place where your dreams either come true or fall apart.
But right now, for a brief and transcient moment you are here and it is wonderful.
You are surrounded by love. By amazing friends and coworkers and professors.
By people who want with the same intensity that you do.
Surrounded by people who believe in you maybe because they
know something other people don’t, maybe because you all just don’t
know better yet.
What do you call the feeling when you realize that life is happening and its wonderful?