(no subject)
i'm so confused right now that its like my soul is being pulled into two opposite directions and im not sure which direction my mind wants to go in. i want everyone to understand the way things are from my point of view but i dont know if anyone ever will. i just want everyone to get along like we all used to. i just want to know what happened. why can't we all just like eachother equally. why cant we invite all of us to somewhere, instead of leaving someone out. now its hitting me. its not right what i've been doing as a friend. and now that this friend is almost gone.. i'm finally realizes how much i miss her. i miss her a lot. a whole world full. shes really the only one that can make me crack up that certain way. dont get me wrong. i love my other girls too. but i just cant explain it. like i said, theres no way for you to see things from my point of view. i just want one simple wish: for things to go back to the way they were, because i was so much happier. lately, i've been so fake. i havent been TRULY truely happy in i dont know how long. i just want life to be real. laughs to be real. love to be real. and most of all.. FRIENDS to be real. i need things to go back to the way they were or else i dont know if everything in my life will ever be right again. but what i've done to this person isnt right. its like shes been used. how can i be so cold? shes a good person who didn't deserve it.. and im truly sorry for that. i really and truly am. i just wish i could go back in time..