I want out.

[pink_lovez]

I feel sick. Really sick. I know I have to throw up, but I know if I do, I won't be able to stop. My head hurts, it feels like it's about to explode. My back's starting to stiffen up and ache...I guess I should tell you why I feel this way. I got rear-ended. All I want to do is go back to sleep, but if I do, I know the accident will just keep replaying in my head and I'll wake up sweating again. I don't want to relive it anymore. I want to have dreamless sleep. All I keep seeing is the car coming closer and closer in my rear-view mirror and I hear the squeel of the tires...and myself screaming, but I can't stop screaming. I couldn't stop screaming, because maybe if I screamed enough, it would all go away: the car hurtling towards me, the hurt, the people staring as they drove by, the smell of the rubber from his tires, and I'd be driving again. But it was just me screaming and crying. And the guy wouldn't answer my question. He wouldn't tell me what happened to my car, so I kept asking. All the water is out of my body...I cried it all out. I wanted to pass out, that's all I really wanted. But then the ambulence would have to come, and I don't need an ambulance, I just need time to wake up. I probably don't make any sense right now. It makes sense to me, but it didn't to the officer...he looked at me like I was rambling. I'm fine, he's fine, my car's fine...but his car...it died. It had a Jesus bumper sticker. But in my mind it's whole again and hurtling at my car. I just wanted to be a good driver. Yellow means stop. I was good, but it wasn't good. I made Jayson's lunch arrive late. I could think better if my head didn't hurt this much.

I'm living constantly in the same half an hour. I want out.