(no subject)
ahhhh alot has gone on in the last like...14hrs. but hey. lets start fir the beginging.
yesterday was a rahter blah day. i got up and cleaned a little. read some of Utopia..cleaned again, read again and then i got my hair done. As the hair doing was going on madre and angelica and i watched what my mother was lead to belive was Terms Of Indearment bc we tuned it like 15mins in. i had heard of the movie but it wasnt quite what i remember it being like...natasha called in like the mid-end part..it was nice to hear from her. lauren called after tasha and i got to speak to her for the first time in a while..a while being like a day and a half lol. so its nearing the end and the movie has taken about 18hrs and im kinda fed up w/ the story line. as madre was washing my hair i mummbled something along the lines of "this is the only kind of money they ever play on tv: old, long, and complicated". (for cryn out loud it started w/ some chick and her mom and somehow escaladed into chick having a few kids a hard life and shes on her deathbed w/ cancer..) so my mom was like "well thats life. long and complicated" so i was like "yes well nobody wants to see that on tv". and idk where this came from but she goes "i can always tell when u just get off the phone w/ lauren..." it was the funniest ting i had ever heard. im like whats that suppose to mean?? and shes like idk u always have smug comments after u talk to her! lol it was sooo weird. so after that i read and fell and sleep and all that for a while. and finally, FINALLY, the movie ened and my moms like "hey wait a minuet, THIS ISNT TERMS OF INDEARMENT!!" oh man i just about died. i couldnt belive i had wasted like 8years of my life on that thing.
after the lame movie we went out and had Danato's for dinner.. yummmmmmy. i went to laurens at like 10 and thats where it all went wrong. we watched tv and listend to music: Chicago Soundtrack and Celine Dion...awww could things be any better? then i we watched Real World vs. Road Rules...dave mirra was the host..again, could thing be any better? lol. well then stuff happend..not gonna go into it and well i really didnt know what to do. i have never really questioned my friendness consoling abilies till now. idk it was so weird. u haev a friend and u love them and u know u would never want to see them hurt and all of a sudden when things go bad u go into a numb zone. u blank and all u can say is.."are u okay?" when clearly they arent. and after a moment of silence all u can come up w/ is "im sorry". im sorry...what kind of comfort is im sorry?? i honestly feel like i have failed my friend. i sat there wanting to help, and wanting to give perspective, wanting some sort of devine intervention to occur to make things better or give me some wise words to share w/ my poor friend. did that happen? no. i blanked and i wasnt much help. i stared, said a few more sorry's and awkwardly started watching tv...lauren, u are one of my best friends and i really wish i could have been there for you last night. i really and truely think that things will get better and if im wrong,for lack of a better word, im sorry. im so sorry. i love you so much and maybe this is just whats best...again, i really dont know what to say, but thank you for inviting me over last night. i had fun.
today so far has been good..ish. rami was at church and he lauren and i talked. i love him. for 945 service it was just me teen lauren and sean..it was sad. christine was cracking me up though. she always does. i love her lol. krsystal and i are quite bored. we're discussing the possiblilities of us dying of bordem...its looking fairly possible lol.
yesterday was a rahter blah day. i got up and cleaned a little. read some of Utopia..cleaned again, read again and then i got my hair done. As the hair doing was going on madre and angelica and i watched what my mother was lead to belive was Terms Of Indearment bc we tuned it like 15mins in. i had heard of the movie but it wasnt quite what i remember it being like...natasha called in like the mid-end part..it was nice to hear from her. lauren called after tasha and i got to speak to her for the first time in a while..a while being like a day and a half lol. so its nearing the end and the movie has taken about 18hrs and im kinda fed up w/ the story line. as madre was washing my hair i mummbled something along the lines of "this is the only kind of money they ever play on tv: old, long, and complicated". (for cryn out loud it started w/ some chick and her mom and somehow escaladed into chick having a few kids a hard life and shes on her deathbed w/ cancer..) so my mom was like "well thats life. long and complicated" so i was like "yes well nobody wants to see that on tv". and idk where this came from but she goes "i can always tell when u just get off the phone w/ lauren..." it was the funniest ting i had ever heard. im like whats that suppose to mean?? and shes like idk u always have smug comments after u talk to her! lol it was sooo weird. so after that i read and fell and sleep and all that for a while. and finally, FINALLY, the movie ened and my moms like "hey wait a minuet, THIS ISNT TERMS OF INDEARMENT!!" oh man i just about died. i couldnt belive i had wasted like 8years of my life on that thing.
after the lame movie we went out and had Danato's for dinner.. yummmmmmy. i went to laurens at like 10 and thats where it all went wrong. we watched tv and listend to music: Chicago Soundtrack and Celine Dion...awww could things be any better? then i we watched Real World vs. Road Rules...dave mirra was the host..again, could thing be any better? lol. well then stuff happend..not gonna go into it and well i really didnt know what to do. i have never really questioned my friendness consoling abilies till now. idk it was so weird. u haev a friend and u love them and u know u would never want to see them hurt and all of a sudden when things go bad u go into a numb zone. u blank and all u can say is.."are u okay?" when clearly they arent. and after a moment of silence all u can come up w/ is "im sorry". im sorry...what kind of comfort is im sorry?? i honestly feel like i have failed my friend. i sat there wanting to help, and wanting to give perspective, wanting some sort of devine intervention to occur to make things better or give me some wise words to share w/ my poor friend. did that happen? no. i blanked and i wasnt much help. i stared, said a few more sorry's and awkwardly started watching tv...lauren, u are one of my best friends and i really wish i could have been there for you last night. i really and truely think that things will get better and if im wrong,for lack of a better word, im sorry. im so sorry. i love you so much and maybe this is just whats best...again, i really dont know what to say, but thank you for inviting me over last night. i had fun.
today so far has been good..ish. rami was at church and he lauren and i talked. i love him. for 945 service it was just me teen lauren and sean..it was sad. christine was cracking me up though. she always does. i love her lol. krsystal and i are quite bored. we're discussing the possiblilities of us dying of bordem...its looking fairly possible lol.