(no subject)
okay so i didnt goto Otakon saturday i dont remember what happened that day...sunday i stayed home with skye and lydia we watched some wierd movie called "dark harbor" in which was fuckin wierd...i didnt expect the husband to be gay or the boy to be gay and plan on killing the wife at all how fucked up but hilarious..then we went to lydias so she could check in and went to the on church school to play but didnt feel like jumping a wet fence so we went back to my house and sat on the ground for awhile talking and then decided to wash my moms car. so josh came and helped wash the car and ash dan and jeff came and watched.they left and came back,i talked to jordan and ryan for awhile and then mrs.karen came with lara and tony and then her husband came and then andrew came home from being with kelly it was crazy.josh left then everyone else left lydia waited for josh to come back and pick us up..i rather have not seen harry that night maybe things would be okay still.
so heres what went on..josh lydia and i were drunk sitting on the floor of his back porch harry comes in when were talkin about him being at work and everyone gets quiet. josh and harry started talkin while lydia and i sat on the floor laughing and josh said amanda get up and i said i would fall so he helped me up..i was so drunk i couldnt feel my face and josh slapped me and called me a bitch and i didnt care because i couldnt feel it.so i walked away and sat down in a chair and asked harry how long he'd been standing there and he said he had just got there.so josh and harry went inside lydia and i went outside on the steps and talked we all ended back on the porch at the same time.josh brought up the whole laying in bed next to each other with underwear on thing and i got up and walked outside and harry walked out after me. he asked me if i was okay and such and i said yeah and i hugged him and he kept sayin no..so i finally said no what? and he said what do you think and i said just fuckin tell me so he was like no what do you think and i said what your not gonna kiss me and he said NO. its the whole age thing which really pissed me off and he said do you hate me and i said no i could never hate you and i hugged him and walked away.
so i went back up to the porch and cried in front of josh and lydia and we talked about it and how much i care about harry.josh says to lay my cards out on the table but i dont know if that would work i mean harry has been so stressed lately he wont listen.it was wierd because nick asked me what was on my mind last night and i didnt answer him i just stared at him and then put my head down. so harry and i are over hes pushing me away for myself but im going to give him time hes probably is confusing harry was outside when i was sittin on nicks lap making out with him,he saw it...nick his best friend making out with the girl hes wants to hold in his arms forever as he puts it.. yeah so i'll write more later im oh phone with skye
so heres what went on..josh lydia and i were drunk sitting on the floor of his back porch harry comes in when were talkin about him being at work and everyone gets quiet. josh and harry started talkin while lydia and i sat on the floor laughing and josh said amanda get up and i said i would fall so he helped me up..i was so drunk i couldnt feel my face and josh slapped me and called me a bitch and i didnt care because i couldnt feel it.so i walked away and sat down in a chair and asked harry how long he'd been standing there and he said he had just got there.so josh and harry went inside lydia and i went outside on the steps and talked we all ended back on the porch at the same time.josh brought up the whole laying in bed next to each other with underwear on thing and i got up and walked outside and harry walked out after me. he asked me if i was okay and such and i said yeah and i hugged him and he kept sayin no..so i finally said no what? and he said what do you think and i said just fuckin tell me so he was like no what do you think and i said what your not gonna kiss me and he said NO. its the whole age thing which really pissed me off and he said do you hate me and i said no i could never hate you and i hugged him and walked away.
so i went back up to the porch and cried in front of josh and lydia and we talked about it and how much i care about harry.josh says to lay my cards out on the table but i dont know if that would work i mean harry has been so stressed lately he wont listen.it was wierd because nick asked me what was on my mind last night and i didnt answer him i just stared at him and then put my head down. so harry and i are over hes pushing me away for myself but im going to give him time hes probably is confusing harry was outside when i was sittin on nicks lap making out with him,he saw it...nick his best friend making out with the girl hes wants to hold in his arms forever as he puts it.. yeah so i'll write more later im oh phone with skye