(no subject)
It's been a while since I've posted anything worthwhile in this journal. But, lately, I feel like I just need to write and get some stuff out of me. I have no friends. I have no one that I do anything with other than my boyfriend. And I love Matt and am going to be spending the rest of my life with him. I just have no one that I can talk to about stuff with him, that I can just go out and just hang out with. Part of it is that I hate going out. Part of it is that I'm picky about friends. Kat was the best friend that I could ever have. We were so much alike, but different, and we understood each other in a way that I can't really describe. I miss her so much. I miss being able to talk about anything with her and not being judged, and knowing that if I was doing something wrong she would think it was wrong, but she wouldn't judge me. I miss going places with her and just hanging out. I miss living with her. I just don't have anyone like her up here, and it's really starting to be a struggle. I know people at work that I like, but they're either older or don't have the same beliefs that I have which makes it hard sometimes. There's Steph and Amanda, but I haven't seen either of them in forever. Other than that, I've got nothing. And it doesn't help that everyone from my church just decides that they don't neccesarily like the relationship that I'm in, therefore they're going to just make me an outcast. Major props to Horizon for making sure that the church is a place that is welcoming to EVERYONE and is a safe harbour *please note sarcasm*. It pisses me off beyond belief but I'm not going into it. I think this is enough for now. I'm just struggling and I don't know what to do about it.