looking towards the future
So It's been ages since I wrote anything in my journal. I mostly stopped writing after I switched to myspace simply because I felt like nobody was reading what I wrote, or that nobody cared. Either way it just felt like I was wasting my time, so I stopped
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Very happy for you and that you've made happen what you needed to happen. I've pretty much lost all that I ever achieved (specially as a transwoman) but no one can take away what you've got now babe! I've known so many TS chicks who've gotten SRS (usually really young) and were upset cause now they didn't know what to do, didn't change their lives. They didn't get that all it changed was that this SHIT was no longer in their way. Maybe they needed to really wallow in that shit for a while til they were sick of it.
I'm not on myspace anymore nor will I be but as I'd planned on writing to you anyhow, is your addy still the same? Actually, I may not have it at all after going through a reformat or two.
Mine is miss.travesty@gmail.com
If ya don't hear from me by the time you get back, please drop me a note to give your contact info.
love n rockets...
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I haven't been doing much but working within my own shitty life trying to set things straight, so here went pretty unkempt, collecting mildew an taking up space. It's been no cakewalk for me either, although, you having told me of your previous situation, I still worry quite a bit.
i've still got some shit to wallow in and work out, but I'm not the type of person to let it get me down for too long. I've managed to run into some pretty extraordinary people while I've been out here, people that really brought my world view together, helped me deal with my demons. I genuinely think I'll be ok because I WANT to get over this shit, heh. no pitty parties hre.
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Y know, you're not the first I've heard say that folks they met in Thailand had a profound impact on them. And you're not one I would condecend to to offer pity. That's not for you or for me for that matter. Doesn't indicate a lack of empathy or feeling, just that some of us don't want pity and I'm pretty sure you are among those.
Funny, was just talking about that very thing with a friend earlier tonight.
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it's just like, here you go, the full spectrum. Intersex, trans, whathaveyou. if you're in town and you're not thai, and a woman, you're automatically thought to be western, and trans. regardless of whether you are or not. People openly stare and gawk at you. not rudely, just like "huh". And it's like, I walk around, and I just don't give a shit anymore. it's like "whatever". I think when I go home I'll be in alot better of a place than I was before.
I've rarely been around large groups of trans people, specifically large groups of trans women, particularly girls who are, for the most part, my age. I've met so many girls who I have alot in common with. there are like 6 people here who're totally my crew, from survivors to punk kids to gamers.
the expierience alone is totally life changing. it give you alot of perspective on your own shit...
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