(no subject)
You ever been with someone that you knew you were in love with, and you could never picture yourself with out them in your life, and than one day they do something to hurt you and ruin your trust and you know no matter how hard you try you'll never be able to feel that way for them again? i tried explaining that to him, and alls he could say was " how can i make you love me again" or "how can i make you trust me again" ...its like you cant make me, my head and my heart are in 2 different places now and as much as its going to hurt me to walk away, its going to be better for me in the long run..i simply cant go back to him, and telling him is going to be the hardest part of it all
Where do I begin... I guess at the beginning... of the soon to be end.
Yesterday I was browsing through the internet and went into the history to find a website i had previously visited, and was shocked when i saw 100's of porn sites Stephen had gond to visit. I was hurt yes, but all guys look at porn, maybe not all but many do. So when he got home i asked him about it, He denied it and got mad at me for accusing him of looking at porn, when i started packing a bag to take off for the night he finally goes, "well i was bored cuz you werent here so i looked at it"....he stuck to that for about 5 mins and then he changed it to "well I did it to see if youd never leave me no matter what and obviously you wont stick by my side"....than he went to " well im sorry i wont do it again" .... He simply could of admitted to it, instead he lied to me! He LIED TO ME....what else has he lied to me about? I dont know what to believe when he tells me he loves me now... i dont believe him.. hes lied to me and broken my trust, and its to the point where i dont think i'll ever be able to trust him again, or atleast not on a level where i can be in a relationship with him. He was supposed to be my best friend, someone who would never lie to me, and he did... i'm soo hurt right now and my head and heart are in 2 different places, my heart is telling me to go back to him, and my head is telling me to RUN.
*grabs a bottle of booze*
Where do I begin... I guess at the beginning... of the soon to be end.
Yesterday I was browsing through the internet and went into the history to find a website i had previously visited, and was shocked when i saw 100's of porn sites Stephen had gond to visit. I was hurt yes, but all guys look at porn, maybe not all but many do. So when he got home i asked him about it, He denied it and got mad at me for accusing him of looking at porn, when i started packing a bag to take off for the night he finally goes, "well i was bored cuz you werent here so i looked at it"....he stuck to that for about 5 mins and then he changed it to "well I did it to see if youd never leave me no matter what and obviously you wont stick by my side"....than he went to " well im sorry i wont do it again" .... He simply could of admitted to it, instead he lied to me! He LIED TO ME....what else has he lied to me about? I dont know what to believe when he tells me he loves me now... i dont believe him.. hes lied to me and broken my trust, and its to the point where i dont think i'll ever be able to trust him again, or atleast not on a level where i can be in a relationship with him. He was supposed to be my best friend, someone who would never lie to me, and he did... i'm soo hurt right now and my head and heart are in 2 different places, my heart is telling me to go back to him, and my head is telling me to RUN.
*grabs a bottle of booze*