Debt Is A Funny Thing...
It becomes more and more aware to me that I will be TENS of THOUSANDS of dollars in debt by the time I graduate. we are talking upwards of 25 thousand dollars. probably more like 35. I'm too young to have that much debt. I can't comprehend how much money that is. it might as well be 500 million dollars. I HAVE to make A LOT of money. but there is a damn good chance that I won't. My parent's didn't until just recently, so it's not like I'm used to living a certain way.
I just get SO JEALOUS of people whose parent's are paying for their college, or had enough money years ago to save for it. They will never know how lucky they are, or how much I hate them. I could go to a cheaper school, and in all reality I probably should. I just don't know what it is that's stopping me from going somewhere else. I don't have the money to live in auburn. none of my friends there have jobs, they don't have to. and in turn they have more time to study at their most convenient time, and I will have to do it just before I pass out at night.
so. here's what I am going to do. I'm going to go to auburn for one semester, and just see how it goes. if I can swing it. i know that I could if I had too, but I seriously loose sleep over loans every night of my life.
I'm afraid I'll be losing something if I don't go to auburn, but I don't know what it is. Drew already told me he would come with me to UNA. I love him. He'll never know.
I've been nauseous for about 4 days now and I think it may be related to stress, because the more I type about this the worse I feel. how do other people deal with this? how are kids not just throwing themselves out of windows? I'm so worried about it I can not think about anything else, not school or driving or anything. OHHH! why can't I just go to school for free? come on! please!
I'm just kicking myself in the ass now, like "why didn't I study more and get a scholarship" why didn't I stick to soccer and get a scholarship, or band? or why don't I start whoring myself out to pay for school!? HUH!? or I could loose a lot of weight and be a stripper. I hear they make good money.
I just get SO JEALOUS of people whose parent's are paying for their college, or had enough money years ago to save for it. They will never know how lucky they are, or how much I hate them. I could go to a cheaper school, and in all reality I probably should. I just don't know what it is that's stopping me from going somewhere else. I don't have the money to live in auburn. none of my friends there have jobs, they don't have to. and in turn they have more time to study at their most convenient time, and I will have to do it just before I pass out at night.
so. here's what I am going to do. I'm going to go to auburn for one semester, and just see how it goes. if I can swing it. i know that I could if I had too, but I seriously loose sleep over loans every night of my life.
I'm afraid I'll be losing something if I don't go to auburn, but I don't know what it is. Drew already told me he would come with me to UNA. I love him. He'll never know.
I've been nauseous for about 4 days now and I think it may be related to stress, because the more I type about this the worse I feel. how do other people deal with this? how are kids not just throwing themselves out of windows? I'm so worried about it I can not think about anything else, not school or driving or anything. OHHH! why can't I just go to school for free? come on! please!
I'm just kicking myself in the ass now, like "why didn't I study more and get a scholarship" why didn't I stick to soccer and get a scholarship, or band? or why don't I start whoring myself out to pay for school!? HUH!? or I could loose a lot of weight and be a stripper. I hear they make good money.