Something to peruse.
So, I wrote this story for my last paper for my English class. Maybe critique it if you like? Or just read it? Let me know what you think, anyway. Thanks. Oh and it's behind a cut because it's a tad long (not really though if that scares you away from checking it out, ha).
Phyllis turned off the highway and onto the country road. The trees stood erect and bare. She was oblivious to the dust generated in her wake and the oldies crooning on the radio; instead she stared straight ahead as she drove, barely concentrating on each infrequent road sign as she passed. Phyllis knew the exact road she needed to turn off on.
Upon finally seeing the sign for seven-thousand road, her heart skipped a beat. It’s been so long, she thought as she slowed, stopped the car, and stared at the road sign for some minutes. Wind blew across the road. Phyllis noticed a small lilac that still clung to life below the road sign; it fluttered in the breeze, small and weak. Phyllis clicked on her left turn signal and moved onto the road.
The brown, dirty gravel brought back a flood of memories as she drove for a bit longer. She saw herself walking along the edge of the lane in a navy dress with a little girl at her side. They were laughing and talking and she was telling the girl what the flowers were that grew in the ditch. The image faded away in the rearview mirror as Phyllis drove further - the little girl’s laughter continuing to ring out.
Phyllis came upon a white house. The green shutters were covered in a fine dust and the roof was awash with leaves. The grass was overgrown and a tree had fallen next to the house. The branches danced against the windowpanes, which stared blankly out at the landscape. “Ah, home,” she sighed. She parked her car and got out, wrapping a crimson scarf around her neck as a cold breeze swept around her body. The woman stood by her car for a moment - a land she knew well. With a nod Phyllis took off into the uncharted waters of the stiff grass. She made her way past the defunct house and into the expansive backyard, which looked much like the front with grass, brown and brittle. A child’s doll lay in the dirt, its rosy face all but rubbed off and her light blue dress, faded and grubby. Phyllis knelt and touched the arm, shuddered, and moved on. She could make out the well in the distance, a solid object against the backdrop of dormant tress that mocked and tormented. As she drew closer, her pulse quickened. Phyllis stopped a few feet away and stared.
The dirt was still scuffed around the well from that day over two years ago-when Ally fell in. I knew I shouldn’t have left her alone in the backyard even if for only two seconds. I knew that well should have been boarded up or the walls made taller or the lid should have been on. What was I thinking? What were we thinking? The instant I heard that high-pitched scream my heart stopped. She was going to start swimming lessons that next week, but that day she sank like a stone. I screamed and screamed and screamed. I was so useless. By the time they pulled my baby girl out her little heart had stopped. Her brown hair pressed damply to her pale skin. I only glanced at her eyes all glassy and vacant before I couldn’t look any longer. I can remember holding her inert body and sobbing until they took her away…she’s gone. I was so cowardly. I couldn’t handle it. I ran away. I ran out on you.
Phyllis grasped the lid of the well. She felt the dark, coarse wood and digging in with her fingers she pushed the lid off. It came to rest in the coarse grass with a clunk. The gaping hole stared up at Phyllis; the darkness was an abrupt reminder of the past. “Oh Ally…why is life so hard? So cruel? Robbed of so much at such a young age. You know after you died I couldn’t handle anything anymore. Everything reminded me, you haunted me. Your funeral was so nice. There were so many people there and so many faces that tried to comprehend the horror I went through. They couldn’t, and I couldn’t help but be jealous of these people with their children and family. You were everything. After they buried you - in that yellow dress you liked - I rented out the house and moved to the city. I figured I could get away if I surrounded myself in noise, people, and lights instead of this house in the country filled with solitude and spirits. I could numb the pain. And Ally you know what? It worked…for a while. I got a job at a coffee shop, and owned an apartment. I even had a boyfriend for a bit, and friends, and I socialized, but I could never forget you. You and your button nose always intruded on my thoughts when I fell asleep. You constantly brought me back to that day. Your cold, limp hands…tiny fingers…” Phyllis slumped down beside the well and let out a sob. Her back rested against the cold concrete; she tugged at her scarf and scowled.
“I mean how could you have fallen in? What were you doing so close to the well anyway? Sure the concrete isn’t very high, but why did you have to go and fall in? Didn’t I always tell you that the well wasn’t for playing around? That you should stay close to the house. How dare you not listen! That was completely unfair! How dare you leave me here all alone! Always plagued by your memory. You were my princess! You abandoned me!” Phyllis got up and yelled into the black well, “How dare you! You died! I should have been the one to die before you! Why did you leave me? Why? Why? Wh-?“ Tears were swallowed by the darkness as sobs racked the distraught woman’s body. She clung to the side as she heaved and sobbed, and her hair moved with each undulation, with each cry. Phyllis heaved onto the grass and rolled on her back, the dead grass poking between her shoulder blades. The sky matched her mood, a gray ceiling that pressed down - the surrounding trees dark, bony hands reaching towards the oppressive air. Nothing moved.
Phyllis gasped for air; her brown eyes stung from the cold. Her breathing slowly slowed and returned to normal. Ally… Mom is going to always remember you. Okay, baby? Okay.She moved her gaze to the well, which stood just as before. “I hate you,” she muttered. The well offered no reply. No condolences. It would never change. The well would always sit, stoic and oblivious. Phyllis looked back at the trees and noticed a few small buds had begun to appear on the branches. Phyllis got up from the grass with a slight smile hovering about her face, unwound the sanguine scarf from around her neck, and placed it next to the well. She then replaced the lid, and walked away. The well didn’t follow.
Phyllis turned off the highway and onto the country road. The trees stood erect and bare. She was oblivious to the dust generated in her wake and the oldies crooning on the radio; instead she stared straight ahead as she drove, barely concentrating on each infrequent road sign as she passed. Phyllis knew the exact road she needed to turn off on.
Upon finally seeing the sign for seven-thousand road, her heart skipped a beat. It’s been so long, she thought as she slowed, stopped the car, and stared at the road sign for some minutes. Wind blew across the road. Phyllis noticed a small lilac that still clung to life below the road sign; it fluttered in the breeze, small and weak. Phyllis clicked on her left turn signal and moved onto the road.
The brown, dirty gravel brought back a flood of memories as she drove for a bit longer. She saw herself walking along the edge of the lane in a navy dress with a little girl at her side. They were laughing and talking and she was telling the girl what the flowers were that grew in the ditch. The image faded away in the rearview mirror as Phyllis drove further - the little girl’s laughter continuing to ring out.
Phyllis came upon a white house. The green shutters were covered in a fine dust and the roof was awash with leaves. The grass was overgrown and a tree had fallen next to the house. The branches danced against the windowpanes, which stared blankly out at the landscape. “Ah, home,” she sighed. She parked her car and got out, wrapping a crimson scarf around her neck as a cold breeze swept around her body. The woman stood by her car for a moment - a land she knew well. With a nod Phyllis took off into the uncharted waters of the stiff grass. She made her way past the defunct house and into the expansive backyard, which looked much like the front with grass, brown and brittle. A child’s doll lay in the dirt, its rosy face all but rubbed off and her light blue dress, faded and grubby. Phyllis knelt and touched the arm, shuddered, and moved on. She could make out the well in the distance, a solid object against the backdrop of dormant tress that mocked and tormented. As she drew closer, her pulse quickened. Phyllis stopped a few feet away and stared.
The dirt was still scuffed around the well from that day over two years ago-when Ally fell in. I knew I shouldn’t have left her alone in the backyard even if for only two seconds. I knew that well should have been boarded up or the walls made taller or the lid should have been on. What was I thinking? What were we thinking? The instant I heard that high-pitched scream my heart stopped. She was going to start swimming lessons that next week, but that day she sank like a stone. I screamed and screamed and screamed. I was so useless. By the time they pulled my baby girl out her little heart had stopped. Her brown hair pressed damply to her pale skin. I only glanced at her eyes all glassy and vacant before I couldn’t look any longer. I can remember holding her inert body and sobbing until they took her away…she’s gone. I was so cowardly. I couldn’t handle it. I ran away. I ran out on you.
Phyllis grasped the lid of the well. She felt the dark, coarse wood and digging in with her fingers she pushed the lid off. It came to rest in the coarse grass with a clunk. The gaping hole stared up at Phyllis; the darkness was an abrupt reminder of the past. “Oh Ally…why is life so hard? So cruel? Robbed of so much at such a young age. You know after you died I couldn’t handle anything anymore. Everything reminded me, you haunted me. Your funeral was so nice. There were so many people there and so many faces that tried to comprehend the horror I went through. They couldn’t, and I couldn’t help but be jealous of these people with their children and family. You were everything. After they buried you - in that yellow dress you liked - I rented out the house and moved to the city. I figured I could get away if I surrounded myself in noise, people, and lights instead of this house in the country filled with solitude and spirits. I could numb the pain. And Ally you know what? It worked…for a while. I got a job at a coffee shop, and owned an apartment. I even had a boyfriend for a bit, and friends, and I socialized, but I could never forget you. You and your button nose always intruded on my thoughts when I fell asleep. You constantly brought me back to that day. Your cold, limp hands…tiny fingers…” Phyllis slumped down beside the well and let out a sob. Her back rested against the cold concrete; she tugged at her scarf and scowled.
“I mean how could you have fallen in? What were you doing so close to the well anyway? Sure the concrete isn’t very high, but why did you have to go and fall in? Didn’t I always tell you that the well wasn’t for playing around? That you should stay close to the house. How dare you not listen! That was completely unfair! How dare you leave me here all alone! Always plagued by your memory. You were my princess! You abandoned me!” Phyllis got up and yelled into the black well, “How dare you! You died! I should have been the one to die before you! Why did you leave me? Why? Why? Wh-?“ Tears were swallowed by the darkness as sobs racked the distraught woman’s body. She clung to the side as she heaved and sobbed, and her hair moved with each undulation, with each cry. Phyllis heaved onto the grass and rolled on her back, the dead grass poking between her shoulder blades. The sky matched her mood, a gray ceiling that pressed down - the surrounding trees dark, bony hands reaching towards the oppressive air. Nothing moved.
Phyllis gasped for air; her brown eyes stung from the cold. Her breathing slowly slowed and returned to normal. Ally… Mom is going to always remember you. Okay, baby? Okay.She moved her gaze to the well, which stood just as before. “I hate you,” she muttered. The well offered no reply. No condolences. It would never change. The well would always sit, stoic and oblivious. Phyllis looked back at the trees and noticed a few small buds had begun to appear on the branches. Phyllis got up from the grass with a slight smile hovering about her face, unwound the sanguine scarf from around her neck, and placed it next to the well. She then replaced the lid, and walked away. The well didn’t follow.