Why yes, I do know it's too early for this...
Mehh I feel like doing this now because it's even funnier when you look back upon it a year later and see how far off/accurate/amusing your predictions are. Also I'm the kind who likes to do the occasional over-the-top prediction too. So anyways...yeah preseason predictions! :D
FINAL STANDINGS
Rank the teams according to how they'll finish. If you're actually gonna keep score, award 1 pt for each right answer
AL East
Boston Red Sox (I think the Red Sox' pitching is a touch better plus with that defense, the pitching could be really something else if applied correctly)
New York Yankees
Toronto Blue Jays
Tampa Bay Rays
Baltimore Orioles
AL Central
Detroit Tigers
Minnesota Twins
Chicago White Sox
Kansas City Royals
Cleveland Indians
AL West
Seattle Mariners
Texas Rangers
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Oakland Athletics (sorry Mac)
NL East
Philadelphia Phillies
Florida Marlins
Atlanta Braves
New York Mets
Washington Nationals (as long as the Natinals are still in existence, the Mets will never be dead last)
NL Central
Milwaukee Brewers (Crazy prediction Alert...sorta)
St Louis Cardinals
Houston Astros
Chicago Cubs (though IMO, all four of these teams will be close)
Cincinnati Reds (they're ALMOST there)
Pittsburgh Pirates (they just need new everything...except a stadium because their ballpark is fucking awesome)
NL West
San Francisco Giants
Los Angeles Dodgers (though these two can be interchangeable)
Colorado Rockies
Arizona Diamondbacks
San Diego Padres
As for the playoffs
AL EAST: Boston Red Sox
AL CENTRAL: Detroit Tigers
AL WEST: Seattle Mariners
AL WILD CARD: New York Yankees
NL EAST: Philadelphia Phillies
NL CENTRAL: Milwaukee Brewers
NL WEST: San Francisco Giants
NL WILD CARD: Florida Marlins
ALDS: Red Sox over Tigers in 3
ALDS: Mariners over Yankees in 5
NLDS: Phillies over Brewers in 4
NLDS: Giants over Marlins in 4
ALCS: Mariners over Red Sox in 6
NLCS: Giants over Marlins in 7
WS: Mariners over Giants in 5
---------------------------
HARDWARE EXPRESS
Guess who wins what award. It's okay if you're really off base, this is all in good fun. 1 pt per right guess if you're keeping score
AL Manager of the Year: Terry Francona, Boston Red Sox (He needs to get his due dammit)
NL Manager of the Year: Fredi Gonzalez, Florida Marlins
AL Comeback Player of the Year: David Ortiz, Boston Red Sox
NL Comeback Player of the Year: Scott Proctor, Atlanta Braves (because it'd be funny IMO)
AL Rookie of the Year: Scott Sizemore, Detroit Tigers
NL Rookie of the Year: Buster Posey, San Francisco Giants
AL Cy Young Award: Zack Greinke, Kansas City Royals
NL Cy Young Award: Roy Halladay, Philadelphia Phillies
AL MVP: Mark Teixeira, New York Yankees (making many non-Yankee fans wanna light themselves on fire)
NL MVP: Lance Berkman, Houston Astros (very unlikely given many things but hey worth a shot)
====================================
OVER/UNDER
These aren't meant to be taken seriously. Just stupid silly predictions that you can guess in case they actually happen. So yeah. If your'e still gonna keep score, 1 pt per. Also Over/Under can also mean Yes/No
Bob Watson harassing Terry Francona about his uniform: Over
Jim Leyland cigarettes per week -- 100: Slightly Under
Adrian Beltre getting screwed out of a Gold Glove somehow: Over
Johnny Damon being booed at Yankee Stadium AND Fenway Park: Over
Zack Greinke's ERA -- 2.50: Slightly Over
Pedro Martinez finding a new team: Under
Roger Clemens attempting to make a comeback somewhere but being ultimately rejected: Over
Albert Pujols winning the Triple Crown: Under but not by much
The Minnesota Twins coming back from the dead -- again: Over (it's like scripted almost)
Number of times Bud Selig says 'integrity' describing baseball -- 9,000: Over! (a/n: I think only some of my flist will get this joke)
Number of times Jim Tracy answers his own questions -- 400: Under slightly but only because...
Number of times Jim Tracy answers his own questions WITH ANOTHER QUESTION -- 700: Over
Number of times Jason Varitek starts per week -- 2: Hopefully under though I believe he's gonna end up as Beckett's personal catcher because Beckett is a whiny little bitch. (PS: I'm only kidding)
Number of times that I will want to punch Papelbon in his stupid douchefilled face whenever he opens his mouth and it's something involving his own ego -- 1200: Wayyy over.
Mike Lowell being traded by May 30: Over but only because there won't be many takers on the project
Tim Wakefield being healthy the entire season: Over...I hope
Minnesota Twins playing like total assfaces vs the Yankees: Over (It's like Ron Gardenhire is afraid to do well against them sometimes)
Number of verbal fellatio sessions we'll hear about Mike Scioscia, Derek Jeter, David Eckstein, and Ron Gardenhire -- 10,000: Wayyy over, unfortunately.
Number of "DIAF Cakes" I will make over the baseball season -- 2: Under because I think my mom will give strange looks over it. Though I may make a Prince Fielder tribute cake. :P
======================================================
FREE RANGE PREDICTIONS
Just make 5-10 Bizarre Predictions of your own. 4 pts if you actually get them right
1) Mike Lowell will somehow end up on the Mets and cause me to go into a whole fit of glee. (yes I know this will never happen, but let me dream dammit!)
2) I will somehow meet David Ortiz and get a hug from him. (this is one of those random silly goals I have in life)
3) Pedro Martinez will sign with the Red Sox and start one more game and then retire officially. This will happen in September.
4) Victor Martinez will permanently win over Red Sox Nation when he decks Joba Chamberlain in the face after Chamberlain knocks down Kevin Youkilis with a pitch. Then Victor will be suspended for 12 games, Joba for 3, and Youk for 5 despite doing nothing but glaring. Each sentence will be appealed and Joba will get off scot-free, Victor will be suspended for 5 games, and Kevin will only get 4 games.
5) Terry Francona will got batshit crazy on a poor unsuspecting umpire and will have the most epic rant of epic rants mostly talking about the shit he has to deal with and completely getting offtopic of the original call he was trying to dispute.
So yeah this is what I got for now. Now if you excuse me I need to go to class and make sure my puppy isn't getting into too much trouble (she is wearing The Cone of Shame...she does not like the Cone of Shame)
FINAL STANDINGS
Rank the teams according to how they'll finish. If you're actually gonna keep score, award 1 pt for each right answer
AL East
Boston Red Sox (I think the Red Sox' pitching is a touch better plus with that defense, the pitching could be really something else if applied correctly)
New York Yankees
Toronto Blue Jays
Tampa Bay Rays
Baltimore Orioles
AL Central
Detroit Tigers
Minnesota Twins
Chicago White Sox
Kansas City Royals
Cleveland Indians
AL West
Seattle Mariners
Texas Rangers
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Oakland Athletics (sorry Mac)
NL East
Philadelphia Phillies
Florida Marlins
Atlanta Braves
New York Mets
Washington Nationals (as long as the Natinals are still in existence, the Mets will never be dead last)
NL Central
Milwaukee Brewers (Crazy prediction Alert...sorta)
St Louis Cardinals
Houston Astros
Chicago Cubs (though IMO, all four of these teams will be close)
Cincinnati Reds (they're ALMOST there)
Pittsburgh Pirates (they just need new everything...except a stadium because their ballpark is fucking awesome)
NL West
San Francisco Giants
Los Angeles Dodgers (though these two can be interchangeable)
Colorado Rockies
Arizona Diamondbacks
San Diego Padres
As for the playoffs
AL EAST: Boston Red Sox
AL CENTRAL: Detroit Tigers
AL WEST: Seattle Mariners
AL WILD CARD: New York Yankees
NL EAST: Philadelphia Phillies
NL CENTRAL: Milwaukee Brewers
NL WEST: San Francisco Giants
NL WILD CARD: Florida Marlins
ALDS: Red Sox over Tigers in 3
ALDS: Mariners over Yankees in 5
NLDS: Phillies over Brewers in 4
NLDS: Giants over Marlins in 4
ALCS: Mariners over Red Sox in 6
NLCS: Giants over Marlins in 7
WS: Mariners over Giants in 5
---------------------------
HARDWARE EXPRESS
Guess who wins what award. It's okay if you're really off base, this is all in good fun. 1 pt per right guess if you're keeping score
AL Manager of the Year: Terry Francona, Boston Red Sox (He needs to get his due dammit)
NL Manager of the Year: Fredi Gonzalez, Florida Marlins
AL Comeback Player of the Year: David Ortiz, Boston Red Sox
NL Comeback Player of the Year: Scott Proctor, Atlanta Braves (because it'd be funny IMO)
AL Rookie of the Year: Scott Sizemore, Detroit Tigers
NL Rookie of the Year: Buster Posey, San Francisco Giants
AL Cy Young Award: Zack Greinke, Kansas City Royals
NL Cy Young Award: Roy Halladay, Philadelphia Phillies
AL MVP: Mark Teixeira, New York Yankees (making many non-Yankee fans wanna light themselves on fire)
NL MVP: Lance Berkman, Houston Astros (very unlikely given many things but hey worth a shot)
====================================
OVER/UNDER
These aren't meant to be taken seriously. Just stupid silly predictions that you can guess in case they actually happen. So yeah. If your'e still gonna keep score, 1 pt per. Also Over/Under can also mean Yes/No
Bob Watson harassing Terry Francona about his uniform: Over
Jim Leyland cigarettes per week -- 100: Slightly Under
Adrian Beltre getting screwed out of a Gold Glove somehow: Over
Johnny Damon being booed at Yankee Stadium AND Fenway Park: Over
Zack Greinke's ERA -- 2.50: Slightly Over
Pedro Martinez finding a new team: Under
Roger Clemens attempting to make a comeback somewhere but being ultimately rejected: Over
Albert Pujols winning the Triple Crown: Under but not by much
The Minnesota Twins coming back from the dead -- again: Over (it's like scripted almost)
Number of times Bud Selig says 'integrity' describing baseball -- 9,000: Over! (a/n: I think only some of my flist will get this joke)
Number of times Jim Tracy answers his own questions -- 400: Under slightly but only because...
Number of times Jim Tracy answers his own questions WITH ANOTHER QUESTION -- 700: Over
Number of times Jason Varitek starts per week -- 2: Hopefully under though I believe he's gonna end up as Beckett's personal catcher because Beckett is a whiny little bitch. (PS: I'm only kidding)
Number of times that I will want to punch Papelbon in his stupid douchefilled face whenever he opens his mouth and it's something involving his own ego -- 1200: Wayyy over.
Mike Lowell being traded by May 30: Over but only because there won't be many takers on the project
Tim Wakefield being healthy the entire season: Over...I hope
Minnesota Twins playing like total assfaces vs the Yankees: Over (It's like Ron Gardenhire is afraid to do well against them sometimes)
Number of verbal fellatio sessions we'll hear about Mike Scioscia, Derek Jeter, David Eckstein, and Ron Gardenhire -- 10,000: Wayyy over, unfortunately.
Number of "DIAF Cakes" I will make over the baseball season -- 2: Under because I think my mom will give strange looks over it. Though I may make a Prince Fielder tribute cake. :P
======================================================
FREE RANGE PREDICTIONS
Just make 5-10 Bizarre Predictions of your own. 4 pts if you actually get them right
1) Mike Lowell will somehow end up on the Mets and cause me to go into a whole fit of glee. (yes I know this will never happen, but let me dream dammit!)
2) I will somehow meet David Ortiz and get a hug from him. (this is one of those random silly goals I have in life)
3) Pedro Martinez will sign with the Red Sox and start one more game and then retire officially. This will happen in September.
4) Victor Martinez will permanently win over Red Sox Nation when he decks Joba Chamberlain in the face after Chamberlain knocks down Kevin Youkilis with a pitch. Then Victor will be suspended for 12 games, Joba for 3, and Youk for 5 despite doing nothing but glaring. Each sentence will be appealed and Joba will get off scot-free, Victor will be suspended for 5 games, and Kevin will only get 4 games.
5) Terry Francona will got batshit crazy on a poor unsuspecting umpire and will have the most epic rant of epic rants mostly talking about the shit he has to deal with and completely getting offtopic of the original call he was trying to dispute.
So yeah this is what I got for now. Now if you excuse me I need to go to class and make sure my puppy isn't getting into too much trouble (she is wearing The Cone of Shame...she does not like the Cone of Shame)