(no subject)
I have so many stupidly poignantly stupid things to say that one LJ post would never cheapen them enough to post online. I'm also almost smart enough to make idiotic sayings sound intellectual. Anyway, I'm not articulate when I'm drunk, but my acknowledgment that I'm... I can't even express it in words. In stupid English it comes down to this: I'm moving in a month. I'm scared of what is going to happen. I'm going to miss all my siblings, my friends, and my siblings friends. I don't know what's scarier: that I'll embrace a Swedenborgian God or that I'll be completely alienated from the religion that has comforted me my entire life.
This is the alcohol talking: I woke up one night at four in the mourning a complete atheist. I had a panic attack.
I'm gonna pass out now. Good night. It's funny... when I'm sober I don't know that to say, when I'm drunk I can't find the words to say it. *here is me hating myself tomorrow* (but I've realized hating just isn't worth the effort. what a stupid emotion.)
This is the alcohol talking: I woke up one night at four in the mourning a complete atheist. I had a panic attack.
I'm gonna pass out now. Good night. It's funny... when I'm sober I don't know that to say, when I'm drunk I can't find the words to say it. *here is me hating myself tomorrow* (but I've realized hating just isn't worth the effort. what a stupid emotion.)