Come On With the Rain! Chapter Nine
CHAPTER 9: GOTTA DANCE!
John figured it out as the first few sung words left Jack’s lips.
Moses supposes his toeses are roses
But Moses supposes erroneously
John gave out a loud “Ha!” as the joke was revealed. As expected, Owen picked up where Jack left off.
And Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses
As Moses supposes his toeses to be
Those who were familiar with old movie musicals instantly understood what number was about to be performed, and those who had seen Owen and Jack on stage before were eagerly awaiting the height of the number. John knew, of course. “Moses” was a favorite tap dance song of his and if he wasn’t mistaken, and he usually was not, Jack and Owen were going to recreate it in front of half of London and Hollywood’s elite! And he was going to be a part of it, too!
As Owen and Jack sang, the orchestra began to play as previously instructed, and John played his part well. The two dancers manhandled him and tossed him around the stage as Gene Kelly and Donald O’Connor did to some poor chap all those years ago.
A Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is
A rose is for Moses as potent as toeses
Couldn't be a lily or a daphi daphi dilli
It's gotta be a rose cuz it rhymes with mose!
Moses!
Moses!
Moses!
And then Jack and Owen broke out into a complicated tap routine, full of intricate footwork, jumps and barrel rolls. John sat back and watched his friends dance for him. It was an old joke between them. It was such a funny number where two men basically were pulling a prank on an elocution instructor. John was always the instructor when they fooled around. It was a true present indeed to see his friends do the routine with precision and grace. The style of dance was classic, golden era tapping. Jack and Owen excelled at it and they looked completely joyful doing it.
As they neared the end, John wondered what they were going to do. In the original routine, the two dancers threw crumpled paper, a small bin, a curtain and a painting onto the instructor. He decided to just let them do whatever they wanted.
It was a wise choice. Jack and Owen improvised, grabbing empty glasses, plates, champagne bottles and Jack even managed to get a tablecloth over John’s head! For the painting, Owen grabbed a display poster of John’s film and tossed it onto the birthday boy’s lap. Then Jack and Owen completed their final steps, a series of trenches and barrel rolls. They turned and stood beside John, took a deep breath and let out the final note.
AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
There was an uproar of applause, whistles and hoots! Jack and Owen took a quick bow, hugged each other and set about removing all of the objects from John. By the time they had him uncovered, the lights dimmed and a very large cake appeared with many, many candles. Jack got everyone to sing “Happy Birthday” as he held onto his two friends, giving them both a squeeze.
“Nice surprise?” Jack asked John over the din.
“Yes, Jack, a very nice surprise. Thank you. Thank you both.”
“You should thank Rose.”
“He’d better!” the blonde woman chimed in as she reached them, a silver cake server in her hand. “Go on then. Cut the cake!”
The surprise had been a success and Jack was so glad that they filmed it; he couldn’t wait to show Ianto.
“Ooh!” Jack said with a start. “Hold this.” Shoving his slice of cake at Owen, Jack reached into his trouser pocket to find his mobile.
“Are you done with this?” Owen asked, eyeing the cake with delight.
“Don’t even think about it!” Jack ordered. “I just wanted to check my messages, see if Ianto called.”
Owen looked around quickly to make sure that no one was listening. Seeing that everyone was occupied with other gaieties, Owen let Jack’s slip pass. “Anything?”
“Not from him, but Andy seems to have called an alarming amount of times.” Jack quickly dialed his voicemail and waited to hear what his assistant needed to tell him.
“Hi, Jack, Owen!” Toshiko greeted the two men. “Oh, sorry didn’t realize Jack was on the phone.”
“No worries, he’s just checking up on Andy.” Owen looked Toshiko up and down. He had noticed how lovely she looked as soon as he saw her, but didn’t have time to say something. “You look nice tonight.”
Toshiko’s eyes widened at the compliment. “Oh. Thank you, Owen. That’s nice of you to say.”
“I mean it, though. You look nice in all that silver and… sparkly stuff.”
Toshiko laughed and smiled at him. The sparkly stuff was sequins, silver sequins that were sewn all over her cocktail dress. It was a simple cut, but she, too, thought she looked nice in all the sparkle and shimmer. “You were amazing up there.”
“Oh, that!”
“Yes, that. The two of you… you’re something else, quite the team. I’d forgotten how much I loved seeing you both perform.”
“You do?”
Toshiko nodded. “I really do. Or maybe I just like this sleeveless jumper of yours!”
Owen grimaced. “Well, I’m taking all this off soon, I can tell you that.”
“That will look nice as well.”
Owen did a double take. Did she… “How much have you had to drink tonight, Tosh?”
“Not that much at all really. I’ve been a bit busy. A few work things.”
“So, youdo realize what you just said, yes?”
Toshiko looked like she was replaying her statement in her head. “Yes, I believe that came out right. I haven’t offended you, have I, Owen? I mean, we always joke about-”
“Yeah, I know we do, but I thought…maybe this time…” He could barely look at her. They hadn’t been in each other’s presence for very long during the last month and Owen missed her. She was calm when he was out of control. She was soft when he was hard. They were opposite in so many ways and Owen needed that kind of opposition in his life. It wasn’t a hindrance; it was compatibility.
“’Maybe this time’, what?” Tosh’s heart started to pound rapidly. Owen had a strange look on his face, one she hadn’t seen before and it frightened her a little; excited her, too.
“Maybe we shouldn’t joke any - ”
“Damnit!” Jack hissed, breaking the moment between Toshiko and Owen.
“What’s wrong?” Owen asked, seeing the distress on his friend’s face.
“Ianto. I can’t get a hold of Ianto. I need to talk to him. He needs to talk to me,” Jack muttered distractedly.
“Jack, mate, I’ve sure he’s fine. He’s shooting tonight.”
“Owen, he’s gone!”
“What do you mean ‘gone’? Where is he? What happened?”
“He called Andy, packed up and left the house. He’s not answering his mobile.”
“Did you two have a fight? Why would he leave?”
Jack closed his phone and looked up at a very quiet, very subdued Toshiko. “Do you want to tell him, Tosh, or shall I?”
Toshiko shuddered at the cold glare Jack gave her. She quickly looked away. She tried to summon her strong producer persona, but when faced with a very hurt and angry friend, she couldn’t do it. “I’m sorry, Jack. I couldn’t tell you. I’m thinking of a way out.”
“And while you’re thinking, the love of my life has run off.”
“Would someone tell me what’s going on?” Owen demanded.
“Gwen fucking Cooper. I don’t know how she did it, but she has the whole country thinking that we’re together, officially. And we confirmed it earlier tonight.”
“What do you mean?”
“Remember that reporter who said she heard I was in love?”
“Yeah, that was weird. I thought maybe something leaked about Ianto.”
“So did I. But, it was all Gwen’s doing. And Tosh’s.”
“Tosh would never do that. She’d never be part of something like that. Not when she had all these plans for Ianto. Tell him, Tosh.”
“I’m sorry, Owen,” Jack apologized.
“Tosh?”
Toshiko shook her head, regretfully. “Owen, I’m - ”
“Save it. You don’t owe me anything. I thought you were different, more than a boss to us.”
“This wasn’t about our friendship.”
“What friendship? You just ruined Jack’s chances with Ianto! You let Gwen win! Just couldn’t hold out any longer, could you? All that money and press was just too much to resist.”
“You don’t know anything about it, Owen Harper! I am your boss and I made a choice. Someone had to and I did. It’s my job.”
“Congratulations, Ms. Sato. You do your job very well.”
Jack placed a hand on Owen’s shoulder. “That’s enough, Owen.”
Owen pulled away from him. “No, it’s not! And I thought - Who cares what I thought! I’m going. Are you coming, Harkness?” Owen didn’t wait for a response, just turned and stormed out, leaving a teary-eyed Toshiko and a fuming Jack behind.
Toshiko discreetly dabbed at her eyes and swallowed thickly. “Why do I think there is something more happening here than just this story?”
“You’re a smart woman, Toshiko. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” Jack surveyed the room. Most of the people around them had stepped away when they heard raised voices. Luckily, though, they didn’t seem to be listening to them anymore. But, there was one pair of eyes on them, one pair of glittering dark eyes that shone with glee. And it made him sick inside. “Tosh, I’ve put a lot of faith in you over the years.”
“I know you have, Jack,” she whispered through a sob.
“I don’t know why you did this, but please tell me you can fix it. Please tell me that.”
Toshiko held Jack’s gaze and, with strength she pulled from her toes, she said, “I’m already working on it.”
Jack nodded and swiftly left the party; he’d call John later to apologize. He texted his driver to be outside the hotel immediately. All he wanted to do was to get back to Wales, find Ianto and beg him not to leave, not to run away. He tried calling him one more time as he got into his waiting car.
“Please pick up, Ianto,” he pleaded. Jack knew Ianto was filming that night, but he prayed that the Welshman was on a break so he could answer his phone.
“Hi, Jack,” came a soft, tired Welsh voice.
Jack thought he’d cry. “Ianto! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. I talked to Andy. I didn’t know what was happening, Ianto. You have to believe me. I thought someone found out about us. I didn’t know what Gwen was doing. You know I don’t love her, right? Tell me you know that.”
“Jack, please calm down.” Ianto paused while Jack took a few deep inhalations. “I know you’re not in love with Gwen Cooper. I know - I hoped you were talking about me when that reporter asked you.”
“Of course I was. I didn’t want to say it like this but, Ianto, I love you. I’m in love with you and only you, have done since we met.”
Ianto sighed. “Good.”
“Do you have something you want to say to me?” Jack wondered after a moment of silence.
“Not yet.”
“Ianto, I - ”
“Not yet,” Ianto said firmly.
Jack slumped back into the leather seat and once more thought he might cry. “Okay. Andy said you moved out of the house. Where are you staying?”
“A hotel. And don’t worry about Janet; Andy’s staying with her until you or Owen gets back.”
“I’m on my way now. Please tell me where you are. I need to see you.”
“You’ll see me at work, Jack.”
“Damnit, Ianto, I don’t want to see you at work. I want to see you in our home, in our bed. Why did you leave? If you knew what those reporters said were lies, then why did you go?”
“Because I don’t know if I can do this.” Ianto tried to hide a sniff as he inhaled sharply, but Jack still heard his distress. “We haven’t been together that long and already my life has turned upside down. I’m in Wales. I’m in a major film, a job I only got because I’m your lover.”
“That’s not true! Toshiko would have hired you even if we weren’t together.”
“Be that as it may, I’m also contractually obligated to hide one of the things I’m most proud of in my life. I can’t even fight back when it’s being threatened.”
“Tosh is working on it, Ianto. She’s trying to fix this. We’ll work it out.”
“Until the next catastrophe. What happens if the fans turn on you, hm? What if they don’t like me or that you’re with a man? What about the next person who tries to come between us?”
“It won’t matter because we’ll always know the truth. I’d never lie to you, Ianto.”
“And I never would to you either, which is why I’m saying this. I do love you, Jack, but I don’t know if I can handle everything that comes with you.”
“Ianto, come on! We’ve talked about this before. We both said that it was going to happen at some point; you were going to be exposed to this part of my life. You knew what you were getting into when we started dating.”
“Can anyone really know what they are getting into when dating a celebrity?”
“You love me, Ianto. Shouldn’t that be enough?”
“I love you, but I’m one of millions who do.”
“I don’t care how anyone else feels, Ianto.”
“That’s not true. I’ve seen you in action. You love your fans, love making them happy, making them talk about you.”
“Are you breaking up with me?” There were tears running down Jack’s face, but he controlled his voice as best he could. Inside, his heart was breaking. Ianto was right; he did love his fans and cared what they thought of him. But, he didn’t care nearly as much as he cared about his lover. “Ianto, please let me come over so we can talk face to face.”
“I’m not breaking up with you,” Ianto answered, avoiding the latter request. “I just don’t think it’s the best thing for me to be living under the same roof as you right now. I’m going to call my manager in the morning and tell him that I want to go back to stage work once we’re done filming. I just don’t think this is for me.”
“Film work? Or me?”
“Film work. The rest… we can talk about it later. I’ve got to get back soon. How did your number go?”
Jack scrubbed hand over his face, smearing tears all over. “Great. We taped it for you. Well, Rose had Rhys tape it and she’s making me a copy.”
“I’ll look forward to seeing it, then.”
“You’ll like it.”
“I’ll love it. You know I love watching you perform.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“This isn’t the end, right? It’s not the end of us?”
“Jack. I’ll see you on the set and we’ll see what happens. That’s all I can give you right now.”
“It’s enough. It’s enough, Ianto.”
“Night, cariad.”
Jack choked back a sob at Ianto’s pet name for him. “Goodnight.”
Jack shut his phone off and gazed out the window. The city lights were fading as the car headed away from the West End. Jack looked out on London, a place that had been so good to him, had raised him. He loved London, but it looked cold and lonely to him then. Somewhere, his best mate was nursing a broken heart over the first woman he dared to care for in years. And somewhere else, that woman was realizing what she was about to lose. Then there was Jack, alone in his car, bound for Cardiff. He had only made the journey to the city a few hours ago, but it seemed much longer than that.
Jack closed his weary eyes and tried to get some sleep. If Ianto wanted space, then it was space that Jack would give. They were only filming for another week in Wales and then they’d be headed back to town before traveling to Monaco. He needed Toshiko to think of a way out of this mess. He needed to give Ianto some security. But, how can a celebrity, whose every moment is scrutinized, offer security? Jack wasn’t sure, but he knew he would have to figure it out, and soon.
The final week in Wales flew by with no major delays. Rhys was very happy and Tosh gave great feedback about the dailies. Everything seemed to be going well on the surface, but beneath it was a different story. As promised, Jack and Ianto talked about Ianto’s fear of Jack’s celebrity. The conversation went relatively well; neither of them wanted to fight, but solve the problem together. Unfortunately, there didn’t seem to be a solution for Ianto. He said repeatedly that he would rather leave and still love Jack than grow to resent him.
Jack fought hard. He gave Ianto space, but was always friendly with him when in public. When they were alone, he professed his love in every way he could think, with gestures, looks, kisses and words. But, every night he crawled into a cold, wide bed and slept poorly. By the time he, Owen and Andy were packing up the house, Jack had all but given up hope. As soon as they reached London, their lives would separate again. Ianto got a part in a new musical premiering at Trafalgar Studios and Jack would be getting ready to begin filming Monaco. Instead of growing closer like Jack had hoped, the trip to Wales drove them apart. Jack’s life was a lot to cope with and he didn’t want Ianto to resent him. He loved the younger man too much.
And so, on the last day of filming together, Jack told Ianto that it was his choice how they proceeded. He would respect his decision. The Welshman nodded his head, said thank you, and told Jack that he would call him. He then pressed a soft, lingering kiss on Jack’s lips before turning away.
Ianto didn’t call for days.
Chapter Ten
John figured it out as the first few sung words left Jack’s lips.
Moses supposes his toeses are roses
But Moses supposes erroneously
John gave out a loud “Ha!” as the joke was revealed. As expected, Owen picked up where Jack left off.
And Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses
As Moses supposes his toeses to be
Those who were familiar with old movie musicals instantly understood what number was about to be performed, and those who had seen Owen and Jack on stage before were eagerly awaiting the height of the number. John knew, of course. “Moses” was a favorite tap dance song of his and if he wasn’t mistaken, and he usually was not, Jack and Owen were going to recreate it in front of half of London and Hollywood’s elite! And he was going to be a part of it, too!
As Owen and Jack sang, the orchestra began to play as previously instructed, and John played his part well. The two dancers manhandled him and tossed him around the stage as Gene Kelly and Donald O’Connor did to some poor chap all those years ago.
A Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is
A rose is for Moses as potent as toeses
Couldn't be a lily or a daphi daphi dilli
It's gotta be a rose cuz it rhymes with mose!
Moses!
Moses!
Moses!
And then Jack and Owen broke out into a complicated tap routine, full of intricate footwork, jumps and barrel rolls. John sat back and watched his friends dance for him. It was an old joke between them. It was such a funny number where two men basically were pulling a prank on an elocution instructor. John was always the instructor when they fooled around. It was a true present indeed to see his friends do the routine with precision and grace. The style of dance was classic, golden era tapping. Jack and Owen excelled at it and they looked completely joyful doing it.
As they neared the end, John wondered what they were going to do. In the original routine, the two dancers threw crumpled paper, a small bin, a curtain and a painting onto the instructor. He decided to just let them do whatever they wanted.
It was a wise choice. Jack and Owen improvised, grabbing empty glasses, plates, champagne bottles and Jack even managed to get a tablecloth over John’s head! For the painting, Owen grabbed a display poster of John’s film and tossed it onto the birthday boy’s lap. Then Jack and Owen completed their final steps, a series of trenches and barrel rolls. They turned and stood beside John, took a deep breath and let out the final note.
AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
There was an uproar of applause, whistles and hoots! Jack and Owen took a quick bow, hugged each other and set about removing all of the objects from John. By the time they had him uncovered, the lights dimmed and a very large cake appeared with many, many candles. Jack got everyone to sing “Happy Birthday” as he held onto his two friends, giving them both a squeeze.
“Nice surprise?” Jack asked John over the din.
“Yes, Jack, a very nice surprise. Thank you. Thank you both.”
“You should thank Rose.”
“He’d better!” the blonde woman chimed in as she reached them, a silver cake server in her hand. “Go on then. Cut the cake!”
The surprise had been a success and Jack was so glad that they filmed it; he couldn’t wait to show Ianto.
“Ooh!” Jack said with a start. “Hold this.” Shoving his slice of cake at Owen, Jack reached into his trouser pocket to find his mobile.
“Are you done with this?” Owen asked, eyeing the cake with delight.
“Don’t even think about it!” Jack ordered. “I just wanted to check my messages, see if Ianto called.”
Owen looked around quickly to make sure that no one was listening. Seeing that everyone was occupied with other gaieties, Owen let Jack’s slip pass. “Anything?”
“Not from him, but Andy seems to have called an alarming amount of times.” Jack quickly dialed his voicemail and waited to hear what his assistant needed to tell him.
“Hi, Jack, Owen!” Toshiko greeted the two men. “Oh, sorry didn’t realize Jack was on the phone.”
“No worries, he’s just checking up on Andy.” Owen looked Toshiko up and down. He had noticed how lovely she looked as soon as he saw her, but didn’t have time to say something. “You look nice tonight.”
Toshiko’s eyes widened at the compliment. “Oh. Thank you, Owen. That’s nice of you to say.”
“I mean it, though. You look nice in all that silver and… sparkly stuff.”
Toshiko laughed and smiled at him. The sparkly stuff was sequins, silver sequins that were sewn all over her cocktail dress. It was a simple cut, but she, too, thought she looked nice in all the sparkle and shimmer. “You were amazing up there.”
“Oh, that!”
“Yes, that. The two of you… you’re something else, quite the team. I’d forgotten how much I loved seeing you both perform.”
“You do?”
Toshiko nodded. “I really do. Or maybe I just like this sleeveless jumper of yours!”
Owen grimaced. “Well, I’m taking all this off soon, I can tell you that.”
“That will look nice as well.”
Owen did a double take. Did she… “How much have you had to drink tonight, Tosh?”
“Not that much at all really. I’ve been a bit busy. A few work things.”
“So, youdo realize what you just said, yes?”
Toshiko looked like she was replaying her statement in her head. “Yes, I believe that came out right. I haven’t offended you, have I, Owen? I mean, we always joke about-”
“Yeah, I know we do, but I thought…maybe this time…” He could barely look at her. They hadn’t been in each other’s presence for very long during the last month and Owen missed her. She was calm when he was out of control. She was soft when he was hard. They were opposite in so many ways and Owen needed that kind of opposition in his life. It wasn’t a hindrance; it was compatibility.
“’Maybe this time’, what?” Tosh’s heart started to pound rapidly. Owen had a strange look on his face, one she hadn’t seen before and it frightened her a little; excited her, too.
“Maybe we shouldn’t joke any - ”
“Damnit!” Jack hissed, breaking the moment between Toshiko and Owen.
“What’s wrong?” Owen asked, seeing the distress on his friend’s face.
“Ianto. I can’t get a hold of Ianto. I need to talk to him. He needs to talk to me,” Jack muttered distractedly.
“Jack, mate, I’ve sure he’s fine. He’s shooting tonight.”
“Owen, he’s gone!”
“What do you mean ‘gone’? Where is he? What happened?”
“He called Andy, packed up and left the house. He’s not answering his mobile.”
“Did you two have a fight? Why would he leave?”
Jack closed his phone and looked up at a very quiet, very subdued Toshiko. “Do you want to tell him, Tosh, or shall I?”
Toshiko shuddered at the cold glare Jack gave her. She quickly looked away. She tried to summon her strong producer persona, but when faced with a very hurt and angry friend, she couldn’t do it. “I’m sorry, Jack. I couldn’t tell you. I’m thinking of a way out.”
“And while you’re thinking, the love of my life has run off.”
“Would someone tell me what’s going on?” Owen demanded.
“Gwen fucking Cooper. I don’t know how she did it, but she has the whole country thinking that we’re together, officially. And we confirmed it earlier tonight.”
“What do you mean?”
“Remember that reporter who said she heard I was in love?”
“Yeah, that was weird. I thought maybe something leaked about Ianto.”
“So did I. But, it was all Gwen’s doing. And Tosh’s.”
“Tosh would never do that. She’d never be part of something like that. Not when she had all these plans for Ianto. Tell him, Tosh.”
“I’m sorry, Owen,” Jack apologized.
“Tosh?”
Toshiko shook her head, regretfully. “Owen, I’m - ”
“Save it. You don’t owe me anything. I thought you were different, more than a boss to us.”
“This wasn’t about our friendship.”
“What friendship? You just ruined Jack’s chances with Ianto! You let Gwen win! Just couldn’t hold out any longer, could you? All that money and press was just too much to resist.”
“You don’t know anything about it, Owen Harper! I am your boss and I made a choice. Someone had to and I did. It’s my job.”
“Congratulations, Ms. Sato. You do your job very well.”
Jack placed a hand on Owen’s shoulder. “That’s enough, Owen.”
Owen pulled away from him. “No, it’s not! And I thought - Who cares what I thought! I’m going. Are you coming, Harkness?” Owen didn’t wait for a response, just turned and stormed out, leaving a teary-eyed Toshiko and a fuming Jack behind.
Toshiko discreetly dabbed at her eyes and swallowed thickly. “Why do I think there is something more happening here than just this story?”
“You’re a smart woman, Toshiko. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” Jack surveyed the room. Most of the people around them had stepped away when they heard raised voices. Luckily, though, they didn’t seem to be listening to them anymore. But, there was one pair of eyes on them, one pair of glittering dark eyes that shone with glee. And it made him sick inside. “Tosh, I’ve put a lot of faith in you over the years.”
“I know you have, Jack,” she whispered through a sob.
“I don’t know why you did this, but please tell me you can fix it. Please tell me that.”
Toshiko held Jack’s gaze and, with strength she pulled from her toes, she said, “I’m already working on it.”
Jack nodded and swiftly left the party; he’d call John later to apologize. He texted his driver to be outside the hotel immediately. All he wanted to do was to get back to Wales, find Ianto and beg him not to leave, not to run away. He tried calling him one more time as he got into his waiting car.
“Please pick up, Ianto,” he pleaded. Jack knew Ianto was filming that night, but he prayed that the Welshman was on a break so he could answer his phone.
“Hi, Jack,” came a soft, tired Welsh voice.
Jack thought he’d cry. “Ianto! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. I talked to Andy. I didn’t know what was happening, Ianto. You have to believe me. I thought someone found out about us. I didn’t know what Gwen was doing. You know I don’t love her, right? Tell me you know that.”
“Jack, please calm down.” Ianto paused while Jack took a few deep inhalations. “I know you’re not in love with Gwen Cooper. I know - I hoped you were talking about me when that reporter asked you.”
“Of course I was. I didn’t want to say it like this but, Ianto, I love you. I’m in love with you and only you, have done since we met.”
Ianto sighed. “Good.”
“Do you have something you want to say to me?” Jack wondered after a moment of silence.
“Not yet.”
“Ianto, I - ”
“Not yet,” Ianto said firmly.
Jack slumped back into the leather seat and once more thought he might cry. “Okay. Andy said you moved out of the house. Where are you staying?”
“A hotel. And don’t worry about Janet; Andy’s staying with her until you or Owen gets back.”
“I’m on my way now. Please tell me where you are. I need to see you.”
“You’ll see me at work, Jack.”
“Damnit, Ianto, I don’t want to see you at work. I want to see you in our home, in our bed. Why did you leave? If you knew what those reporters said were lies, then why did you go?”
“Because I don’t know if I can do this.” Ianto tried to hide a sniff as he inhaled sharply, but Jack still heard his distress. “We haven’t been together that long and already my life has turned upside down. I’m in Wales. I’m in a major film, a job I only got because I’m your lover.”
“That’s not true! Toshiko would have hired you even if we weren’t together.”
“Be that as it may, I’m also contractually obligated to hide one of the things I’m most proud of in my life. I can’t even fight back when it’s being threatened.”
“Tosh is working on it, Ianto. She’s trying to fix this. We’ll work it out.”
“Until the next catastrophe. What happens if the fans turn on you, hm? What if they don’t like me or that you’re with a man? What about the next person who tries to come between us?”
“It won’t matter because we’ll always know the truth. I’d never lie to you, Ianto.”
“And I never would to you either, which is why I’m saying this. I do love you, Jack, but I don’t know if I can handle everything that comes with you.”
“Ianto, come on! We’ve talked about this before. We both said that it was going to happen at some point; you were going to be exposed to this part of my life. You knew what you were getting into when we started dating.”
“Can anyone really know what they are getting into when dating a celebrity?”
“You love me, Ianto. Shouldn’t that be enough?”
“I love you, but I’m one of millions who do.”
“I don’t care how anyone else feels, Ianto.”
“That’s not true. I’ve seen you in action. You love your fans, love making them happy, making them talk about you.”
“Are you breaking up with me?” There were tears running down Jack’s face, but he controlled his voice as best he could. Inside, his heart was breaking. Ianto was right; he did love his fans and cared what they thought of him. But, he didn’t care nearly as much as he cared about his lover. “Ianto, please let me come over so we can talk face to face.”
“I’m not breaking up with you,” Ianto answered, avoiding the latter request. “I just don’t think it’s the best thing for me to be living under the same roof as you right now. I’m going to call my manager in the morning and tell him that I want to go back to stage work once we’re done filming. I just don’t think this is for me.”
“Film work? Or me?”
“Film work. The rest… we can talk about it later. I’ve got to get back soon. How did your number go?”
Jack scrubbed hand over his face, smearing tears all over. “Great. We taped it for you. Well, Rose had Rhys tape it and she’s making me a copy.”
“I’ll look forward to seeing it, then.”
“You’ll like it.”
“I’ll love it. You know I love watching you perform.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“This isn’t the end, right? It’s not the end of us?”
“Jack. I’ll see you on the set and we’ll see what happens. That’s all I can give you right now.”
“It’s enough. It’s enough, Ianto.”
“Night, cariad.”
Jack choked back a sob at Ianto’s pet name for him. “Goodnight.”
Jack shut his phone off and gazed out the window. The city lights were fading as the car headed away from the West End. Jack looked out on London, a place that had been so good to him, had raised him. He loved London, but it looked cold and lonely to him then. Somewhere, his best mate was nursing a broken heart over the first woman he dared to care for in years. And somewhere else, that woman was realizing what she was about to lose. Then there was Jack, alone in his car, bound for Cardiff. He had only made the journey to the city a few hours ago, but it seemed much longer than that.
Jack closed his weary eyes and tried to get some sleep. If Ianto wanted space, then it was space that Jack would give. They were only filming for another week in Wales and then they’d be headed back to town before traveling to Monaco. He needed Toshiko to think of a way out of this mess. He needed to give Ianto some security. But, how can a celebrity, whose every moment is scrutinized, offer security? Jack wasn’t sure, but he knew he would have to figure it out, and soon.
The final week in Wales flew by with no major delays. Rhys was very happy and Tosh gave great feedback about the dailies. Everything seemed to be going well on the surface, but beneath it was a different story. As promised, Jack and Ianto talked about Ianto’s fear of Jack’s celebrity. The conversation went relatively well; neither of them wanted to fight, but solve the problem together. Unfortunately, there didn’t seem to be a solution for Ianto. He said repeatedly that he would rather leave and still love Jack than grow to resent him.
Jack fought hard. He gave Ianto space, but was always friendly with him when in public. When they were alone, he professed his love in every way he could think, with gestures, looks, kisses and words. But, every night he crawled into a cold, wide bed and slept poorly. By the time he, Owen and Andy were packing up the house, Jack had all but given up hope. As soon as they reached London, their lives would separate again. Ianto got a part in a new musical premiering at Trafalgar Studios and Jack would be getting ready to begin filming Monaco. Instead of growing closer like Jack had hoped, the trip to Wales drove them apart. Jack’s life was a lot to cope with and he didn’t want Ianto to resent him. He loved the younger man too much.
And so, on the last day of filming together, Jack told Ianto that it was his choice how they proceeded. He would respect his decision. The Welshman nodded his head, said thank you, and told Jack that he would call him. He then pressed a soft, lingering kiss on Jack’s lips before turning away.
Ianto didn’t call for days.
Chapter Ten