f-art
I've realized recently that:
1) I have made a mistake as regards my summer.
2) I no longer think about things further than an interesting title for a paper.
I need some book or movie recommendations to help me think about things other than art.
1: elaborated:
I promised all of my time to Allendale township making the sculpture - the studio is only open from 6am-4pm... There's an exhibition changeover so my 20 hours a week job is currently a just-so-long-as-its-under-40 hours a week job... And I'm supposed to be reading and journaling and writing fantastic papers for my independent study. It seems feasible, right? but when am I supposed to do any of the things I keep thinking about doing, like making art or music or camping or anything that isn't work? So I make time to have a life and the only thing thats getting my attention is exhibition changeover, because thats the only thing that has any driving motivation. Its not too shabby a gig, really, but since I'm already feeling a bit overwhelmed and its just the second week of this, I'm thinking something's got to give.
I might call off the independent study. Besides, so far all she's had me read is a collection of page long essays about how white is the invisible standard of the canon, and isn't it just awful!! White people need to realize that they're white and they are not cultureless nor invincible. Their subtle hegemony is thust REVEALED! Well, here's the thing... and I'm not going to say that I disagree. BUT!~
First off, I've read way better sociological studies that say the same thing in a much more engaging and challenging way. (Does Sigrid think I'm super-challenged when it comes to reading?)
And secondly: we know that the canon is Eurocentric, but all that is changing fast. And there just isn't enough non-Western art historians YET to fill up the gaps. Simultaneously, there's worry that whites will just fill those gaps and perpetuate the problem of whitey white hegemony. Well? Should we say yes, white people need to see a lot of things just like every other shade of skin you can think of... but they certainly can't make a less homogenous focus their life's work! Maybe its about who's applying for the jobs vs who's getting the jobs. Well certainly if I had a choice to learn about Asian art or African art from someone who had an intimate or familial understanding of the culture that produced it, I would hire them over someone who only studied it. There is a difference in contextual understanding. But what if there is no choice? What if there is never any choice, because art history has taken a turn to the self censored lame-land and any thoughtful, construct-battling person would avoid it like the plague, except as a minor side study of interesting cultural products.
And as for Art History:
I've gotten to a point where I can't remember half of the things I've looked at and tried to internalize in my efforts to be a historian... and I haven't seen half of what there is to see. And so what should the canon be?? I respect most of all a holistic presentation of 'cultures' that include philosophy, literature, visual, musical, religious, maybe even fashion and architecture... the way I learned medieval history. Is that so wrong? Is that so ridiculous to want?
Sometimes (oftentimes) I think I'm just sick of this whole art thing. But I can't stop going to the 700's section of the library, and I can't stop pining for the days when I painted, even though it made me insane and miserable. I keep thinking about ways to draw and what to draw, and maybe they might even be interesting. But whats the point? There's no time for it, there's no place for it. I don't want to draw because I feel guilty... and I don't want to make art about art. I want to think again... and not about this crap. If I had something else to ponder, I might be able to make art with some of my soul in it... but right now its all just quippy paper titles and ill-planned art projects.
1) I have made a mistake as regards my summer.
2) I no longer think about things further than an interesting title for a paper.
I need some book or movie recommendations to help me think about things other than art.
1: elaborated:
I promised all of my time to Allendale township making the sculpture - the studio is only open from 6am-4pm... There's an exhibition changeover so my 20 hours a week job is currently a just-so-long-as-its-under-40 hours a week job... And I'm supposed to be reading and journaling and writing fantastic papers for my independent study. It seems feasible, right? but when am I supposed to do any of the things I keep thinking about doing, like making art or music or camping or anything that isn't work? So I make time to have a life and the only thing thats getting my attention is exhibition changeover, because thats the only thing that has any driving motivation. Its not too shabby a gig, really, but since I'm already feeling a bit overwhelmed and its just the second week of this, I'm thinking something's got to give.
I might call off the independent study. Besides, so far all she's had me read is a collection of page long essays about how white is the invisible standard of the canon, and isn't it just awful!! White people need to realize that they're white and they are not cultureless nor invincible. Their subtle hegemony is thust REVEALED! Well, here's the thing... and I'm not going to say that I disagree. BUT!~
First off, I've read way better sociological studies that say the same thing in a much more engaging and challenging way. (Does Sigrid think I'm super-challenged when it comes to reading?)
And secondly: we know that the canon is Eurocentric, but all that is changing fast. And there just isn't enough non-Western art historians YET to fill up the gaps. Simultaneously, there's worry that whites will just fill those gaps and perpetuate the problem of whitey white hegemony. Well? Should we say yes, white people need to see a lot of things just like every other shade of skin you can think of... but they certainly can't make a less homogenous focus their life's work! Maybe its about who's applying for the jobs vs who's getting the jobs. Well certainly if I had a choice to learn about Asian art or African art from someone who had an intimate or familial understanding of the culture that produced it, I would hire them over someone who only studied it. There is a difference in contextual understanding. But what if there is no choice? What if there is never any choice, because art history has taken a turn to the self censored lame-land and any thoughtful, construct-battling person would avoid it like the plague, except as a minor side study of interesting cultural products.
And as for Art History:
I've gotten to a point where I can't remember half of the things I've looked at and tried to internalize in my efforts to be a historian... and I haven't seen half of what there is to see. And so what should the canon be?? I respect most of all a holistic presentation of 'cultures' that include philosophy, literature, visual, musical, religious, maybe even fashion and architecture... the way I learned medieval history. Is that so wrong? Is that so ridiculous to want?
Sometimes (oftentimes) I think I'm just sick of this whole art thing. But I can't stop going to the 700's section of the library, and I can't stop pining for the days when I painted, even though it made me insane and miserable. I keep thinking about ways to draw and what to draw, and maybe they might even be interesting. But whats the point? There's no time for it, there's no place for it. I don't want to draw because I feel guilty... and I don't want to make art about art. I want to think again... and not about this crap. If I had something else to ponder, I might be able to make art with some of my soul in it... but right now its all just quippy paper titles and ill-planned art projects.