fic: forever minus twenty (as long as it's even), yewook, pg, [1/2]
Title: forever minus twenty (as long as it’s even)
Author: pinefir
Pairing: yesung/girl!ryeowook, girl!ryeowook/kyuhyun, girl!ryeowook/henry, girl!ryeowook/sungmin, yesung/girl!eunhyuk, sungmin/girl!zhoumi, kyuhyun/girl!zhoumi
Genre: fluff/drama/angst
Rating: pg
Summary: “Do you not plan to stay with me until forever? Why only give yourself eighty years with me?” Sometimes, the best decisions come to you only after you’ve spent your entire life making the wrong ones.
Warning: AU!, genderswitch
Words: 11312
AN: it gets a bit draggy in the middle, and it's because i've done this 5 months ago and i forgot all about it. the writing style changes from time to time since i didn't write this continuously. it's too long yet too short. and the ending is abrupt and open for interpretation. i honestly don't know if i'm gonna write a sequel for this, i'm not much of a yewook shipper anyway. but i hope you guys enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it even if it took me almost half a year to finish such a boring ass story. inspirations came from : broken by lifehouse, shiver by natalie imbruglia, bring me flowers by hope, just a feeling by maroon 5. i've basically made a soundtrack for this fic because lol . this has been a long ass author's note. i will not hold you back from the angst .i'd probably make a spinoff about kyu/wook mi/min though but knowing me, it;'d probably take another 5 months.
PART 1 | PART 2
I haven’t got a clue if you’re the one
But I like you
And I like the way you make me feel
2:4
When Ryeowook was two, Jongwoon was four.
Jongwoon was quite irritable that day. His mother has forced him into an itchy and ugly shirt plus he also had to take a longer bath.
Needless to say, his four year old self wasn’t amused when he learned from his parents that they are to visit the newly-moved neighbours.
He pouted and cried and whined, hoping against hope that his cries will make his parents, (a) pity him and as such, he won’t be forced to go there anymore, or (b) become annoyed and thus leave him to play with his toys. But his plan didn’t work. He still has to go to their neighbour in his ugly, and itchy and yellow (eww) shirt.
When they reached the house (it was only a few steps away), Jongwoon was all ready to go home and it showed on his face. His pout and burrowed eyebrows gave all his discomfort away.
“Jongwoon-ah,” his mother says as she pulls his chin up. “Be polite.”
Jongwoon just huffs and stomps his foot.
His mother’s eyes twitches, and he’s quite ready to pitch a fit if ever his mother tries something on him. Fortunately for the two, his father was much more calm and considerate. A hand placed on Jongwoon’s shoulder and a hand entwined with his wife’s calmed the two down.
“Jongwoon-ah, you’re going to meet a friend today! Be nice to her okay?” his father said, as he ruffled Jongwooon’s hair.
Jongwoon, having a bias for his father, smiled at him and answered. “Okay, appa!”
His father took his hand and together with his mother, they were welcomed inside the quite big house. Jongwoon oohed and aahed at all the paintings they passed through the hallway. His irritation disappeared and was now replaced with amusement as he let his hands run through the different paintings on the walls.
After fifteen minutes or so of the grownups talking and sharing stories about the neighbourhood, Jongwoon got bored and started shifting in his seat. He tugged at his mother’s sleeve, who was conveniently sitting next to him. “Umma! I’m bored.”
His mother only ignored him.
He sunk back and he pouted, again. He started kicking his legs. “Umma!”
His mother only shushed him, however, their new lady neighbour noticed him and smiled at him gently. “Jongwoon, would you like to meet my daughter?”
Jongwoon looked up at her and shrugged. She smiled at his antics and beckoned to the boy. Soon enough, Jongwoon was toddling towards a yellow door. He gave an involuntary shudder, he hated yellow so much.
There in the middle of the room, stood a crib. He could hear baby chuckles and some melodic sound he used to hear when he was still a baby. His new lady neighbour held out a hand for him to grab. He took her hand and followed her towards the crib.
“Would you like to see my Wookie?” she asked Jongwoon.
Jongwoon nodded.
Inside the crib was probably the prettiest thing Jongwoon saw.
The girl was staring amusedly at the mobile, and Jongwoon could see her eyes widen once she saw him in her mother’s arms.
“Wookie-ah,” the lady spoke to the baby. “Meet your new friend, call him Jongwoon-oppa.”
And then, Jongwoon suddenly found himself being lowered inside the crib.
“Come on Jongwoon, don’t be shy,” he can hear his mother say.
He followed his mother’s urgings and looked at the baby girl who was now crawling towards him. He reached out a hand to her, but she seems intent on crawling towards him.
Back then, Jongwoon and Ryeowook had no idea that they were already making their own little world. Jongwoon didn’t even notice his parents and the new neighbours leaving them all alone to play.
And when she finally reached him, she put her fingers in front of him. They glistened with something wet, and Jongwoon knows at his young age that he wouldn’t want those wet fingers near him. He would have cried at the instant the wet fingers touched his face, but he stopped.
“Woon-oppa?”
6:4
When Jongwoon was six, Ryeowook was four.
In the two years that Ryeowook has known her Jongwoon-oppa, she found out that Jongwoon is somewhat a bit quick to anger. There are some things that she does that make him unhappy and stop playing with her. It usually takes Ryeowook a day to make her Jongwoon-oppa play with her again, it may seem short, but she’s unhappy when he isn’t there to play with her.
It was already 8:30. Her Jongwoon-oppa seems to be thirty minutes late (or at least that’s what her mother said when she asked her what day it is).
“Umma,” Ryeowook padded towards her mother who was currently doing some painting. Her mother hummed in response.
“Umma, where is Jongwoon-oppa? Are you sure it’s still Thurday today? Isn’t it Friday already? Jongwoon oppa is not here. He didn’t come, it must be the next day already! Is he mad at me, umma? What if he won’t come by tomorrow? Will we still be friends? Is he going to move out? Where is he? I promise I won’t lick his cheeks anymore! But, he should promise not to touch my lips too!”
“Wookie, wookie slow down,” her mother said leaving her painting behind to accommodate the unstoppable girl. Ryeowook shut her mouth. “Jongwoon-oppa went to school today, didn’t he tell you?”
Ryeowook pouted. “No he didn’t,” she said, saddened by the fact that she won’t be seeing her oppa today. “He must be mad at me. That’s why he didn’t tell me anything.”
“Aww, Wookie, don’t be sad,” her mother said, hugging Ryewook who was on the verge of tears. “Your oppa might have forgotten, that’s why he didn’t tell you.”
“It’s not fair, I’ll be stuck waiting for him being bored!” Ryeowook whined.
“Darling,” her mother started as she put her hand under Ryeowook’s chin to pull it up. “Why don’t you just help umma?”
Ryeowook sighed. “But umma I can’t draw, I’ll just ruin your paintings!”
“Then just sing me a song on the piano okay? The one your father taught you last night!”
“Okay then umma,” Ryeowook said, beaming at her before bounding over to the covered piano.
Ryeowook has been playing on her piano for hours now, but she didn’t mind because she was totally engrossed with the random melodies she’s been making. That’s why she suddenly shrieked when he felt the chair dip beside her and a pair of hands joined her in playing.
“Jongwoon-oppa!” she said, throwing her arms around the guy who was pressing random keys on the piano.
Jongwoon smiled at her as he tried to pry her off him, but she wouldn’t let go. And then, suddenly he found himself on the floor sitting on his butt.
“What was that for?” he asked Ryeowook who was now standing over him and looking at him pointedly.
“You’re a mean oppa!” Ryeowook said, eyes slowly brimming with tears. “You made me wait for two days!”
“Huh? But it’s still Thursday!”
“I don’t care, you made me wait too long! You’re mean! You’re mean! Plus you didn’t tell me you’re going to school now! You’re mean. You don’t want to play with me anymore!” Ryeowook said accusingly.
Jongwoon stared at her with wide eyes once big, fat tears came falling down from her eyes. He hesitantly approached her. And as soon as he came closer, Ryeowook launched herself at him.
“I missed you so much, oppa! I thought you were mad at me and you didn’t want to play with me anymore! And, and you didn’t tell me you’re going to school! You’re leaving me! ME! How could you leave me?”
Jongwoon could only pat her back awkwardly as she continued wailing to him. He felt, happy? Happy that at least Ryeowook missed him, but he feels uncomfortable seeing her cry. He never made her cry, even though there were times where they had fights, she never cried.
He wrapped his pudgy arms around his playmate and continued patting at her back.
“Sorry, Wookie, oppa’s sorry.”
Ryeowook separated herself from him and looked up at him, “Really oppa? You’re sorry?”
Jongwoon nodded.
“Then tell me what you did today! Did you sing in school? Did you like school? Do you have new friends now? I’ll still be your best and only girl friend right, oppa?”
12:14
When Ryeowook was 12, Jongwoon was 14.
It was Ryeowook’s first day in middle school. It was the day she’s always been waiting for ever since her bestfriend and oppa in one, Jongwoon, graduated from elementary. Since he was already in middle school,that meant that he’s supposed to attend another school. That also meant that he and Ryeowook won’t be eating lunch together anymore, and that she won’t be riding on his bike on their way to school. She was gonna miss a lot of things, and it was all because her oppa was graduating.
In the two years that Ryeowook didn’t get to see him, she didn’t think that she was doing anything wrong when she started to keep to herself. She had friends, but she would always find herself alone while eating lunch under the tree where she and Jongwoon used to eat. Her friends would invite her to lunch, or Henry, that Canadian kid, would always want to sit with her under that tree, but she always found excuses to eat alone.
She also refused to be accompanied by her classmates and friends when she walks home. Her mother was worrying about her, wondering why she’s like that. And Ryeowook denies it at first, but her mother reveals to her that Henry’s been keeping her informed so there was no use lying. In the end, just to placate her mother that no, nobody’s going to take advantage of her, Henry started hanging out with her. She enjoyed Henry’s presence, but he wasn’t Jongwoon, so she was always quiet around him, listening to his stories of Canada in bad Korean.
But that was all in the past, because the moment she steps out of her room, everything will be back to normal. Jongwoon will be in the living room, waiting for her, because they’re going to the same school now, and it’s only right that their tradition of going to school together be continued.
But there was no Jongwoon waiting for her in the living room.
Instead, there was her father, reading the paper.
“Appa?”
Her father looked up, “Oh, Wookie, you look really pretty in that uniform! Are you ready to go now? I’ll be dropping you off at school from now on.”
Ryeowook could only nod her head in response. “Of course , Appa.”
She suddenly felt nervous when she climbed out of the car. Her father wished her goodluck, but in her mind, everything would be better if Jongwoon was there to guide her.
She sighed as she adjusted her bag strap. Henry wasn’t going to this school, he had to go back to Canada, so she was alone again. She just shrugged and looked at the schedule in her hand, her first class was English 1, and it says that she has to go the CA building, but she didn’t know where it was.
She looked around, hoping something would point her to the said building when her eyes fell on a guy with black messy hair walking with a weird bunch of guys. They were five in total, there was a blonde guy, a red-haired guy, a Chinese guy and a big guy.
Her eyes widened when she realized who it was.
“Jongwoon-oppa!” she called as she started running towards the weird group.
The messy, black-haired teen turned around when he heard his name being called. The others turned around too. He saw a girl, no, Ryeowook running towards him and he had to fight a grin. He was with his friends, he wasn’t supposed to know any freshmen or it might give him bad rep.
“Jongwoon oppa!” Ryeowook said, a bit out of breath.
Jongwoon didn’t answer.
“You know her?” Kangin, the big guy asked him.
Heechul, the red haired one, tutted at Ryeowook.
Ryeowook ignored them, she directed her smile at Jongwoon.
“Oppa, I’m going to this school too! Isn’t it great?”
“Uh, uh, yeah it’s great, Ryeowook-ah,” Jongwoon nodded sheepishly, minding the curious stares of his friends.
“Your friend?” Leeteuk, the blonde guy asked him.
“Something like that,” Jongwoon answered in a small voice. Ryeowook frowned.
“I’m his best friend,” she corrected them.
Hankyung the Chinese guy let out a loose laugh, the others soon followed suit.
“We’ll see you in class, Yesung!” Heechul said, clapping Yesung’s back as he passed him.
“Yesung?” Ryeowook asked.
“That’s what they call me,“ he said in a low voice. He wasn’t looking at her.
“Oh,” she said. “Hmm, oppa, maybe you can show me around?”
Jongwoon looked at her in shock. “Oh, no, no no. I can’t show you around, uhm, the guys, they’re waiting for me, and I’ll be very
busy!”
Ryeowook nodded, feeling a bit disappointed. “Oh, okay, maybe you could just tell me where CA is?”
“Yeah it’s just there,” he said as he pointed to the cream building off to his left. Ryeowook nodded as a sign of thanks. “I’ll go now,
Ryeowook-ah.”
She watched him run towards the same building he pointed to her, and she can’t help but frown. If he was going to be in the same building, why didn’t he just walk with her?
She sighed again, not really understanding what was happening. She started walking towards the said building, determined to not let Jongwoon, or Yesung, ruin her day. With a smile on her face, she took a deep breath and ---.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” a tall and gangly looking boy said as he bumped into her, his papers and notebooks flying out of his reach.
She bent down to help him retrieve his papers. “It’s okay.”
Once all his things were already with him, the guy started apologizing again. “I’m really sorry, I’m still a freshman here.”
She smiled at him. “It’s not a big deal, really. I’m a freshman too, I’m headed for the English 1, you?”
He smiled at her toothily, “English 1 too.”
“I’m Ryeowook,” she said as they walked towards the building.
“I’m Kyuhyun.”
16: 14
When Jongwoon was 16, he didn’t want to be called Jongwoon anymore, and he was pretty sure that his friendship with Ryeowook was pretty irreparable now. He gulped as he saw Ryeowook pass by their table, laughing and holding hands with the boy-genius Cho Kyuhyun.
“Sungie, is there something wrong?” Eunhyuk, a classmate of his, and the girl he’s been seeing for a year now, asked him.
“No, no, nothing’s wrong,“ he told her with a smile. She smiled back at him gummily. “Hey, Hyuk?”
“Hmm?” she hummed in response.
“I love you.”
Eunhyuk smiled at him. “I love you too, Yesung,” she replied sweetly, before leaning over to kiss him on the lips. Yesung smiled against her lips, and suddenly, he felt as if everything was just right, it was as if nobody mattered to him anymore but the girl who was kissing him and giving him so much happiness now.
Ryeowook sat down beside Donghae who currently has his mouth wide open. She threw a questioning glance to Sungmin, Donghae’s twin brother.
“What’s with him?” Ryeowook asked Sungmin.
“I don’t know?” Sungmin shrugged. “Where’s Kyu?”
“Oh, he just went to buy some lunch,” she answered.
“Ahh, I see.”
“Yesung-sunbae is so lucky,” Donghae said with a frown.
Ryeowook froze at the mention of Yesung. Sungmin sighed and asked, “What is it this time, Hae?”
“Look at them!” Donghae pointed to where Yesung was sitting with Eunhyuk, Yesung would steal glances of Eunhyuk while she chatted with their friends, and when Eunhyuk catches him staring, she would smile at him and start poking his cheeks. “I know Yesung sunbae is a great guy, but I can’t help but feel jealous when I see them together.”
Ryeowook gulped. “Why?”
“You do know that I’ve asked her out, right?” Donghae asked no one in particular. “And now, she’s going out with him, it’s been a year. And,ahh, all I know is I could have had that!”
Sungmin sighed. “Tough luck brother, just , I don’t know, there’s this Kibum girl you’ve had your eyes on right? Why not her?”
Donghae shook his head. “You wouldn’t understand it, hyung. After all you already have your precious Mi.”
Sungmin huffed and frowned at him. “Okaaaaaaay. I’ll just go look for Mi, she might need some help with her books, I’ll see you two kids around later!” he said as he finished his sandwich and straightened his bag. He was off to find his Chinese girlfriend.
Donghae slammed his head on the table as soon as Sungmin was out of sight. Ryeowook slid closer to Donghae to pat him on his back. She was tempted to say that she understood him perfectly, and that she also wished to have that.
‘Uhm, Hae, I completely understand how you feel,” she said.
Hae looked up at her confused. “How could you? You already have Kyuhyun!”
She just shrugged. True, she had Kyuhyun, but, she can’t help but feel that it isn’t right.
“Wookie?” a voice asked as she felts arms being wrapped around at her waist. “I’m sorry, the cafeteria lady refused to give me ‘special treatment’ by removing the mushrooms you were allergic to, I’ll just pick them out for you.”
Ryeowook turned around to face her boyfriend and smiled brightly at him. “Oh, don’t worry Kyu, I’ll just do it myself, besides didn’t I already ask you not to request things like that from the cafeteria ladies? Cooking is difficult enough on its own!’
“I know, but a little extra wouldn’t hurt right?” Kyuhyun asked her.
“True, but really it’s okay Kyu,” she sad, holding Kyu’s face in her hands.
“Okay, if you say so,” Kyu said as he leaned his forehead against her. Ryeowook pecked him on the lips, and she could feel him smile against her. Sighing, she wondered how the hell she even thought she was jealous of what Eunhyuk has when it was pretty obvious that what she had with Kyu was so much better.
Ryeowook has no one to blame but herself, she thinks, as she suddenly finds herself knocked down and lying on the floor with all her sheets fluttering around her. She pushes herself up, not noticing a hand that was shoved in her face, and proceeds to gather her papers.
“I’m sorry,” the person who she bumped into says as she sees him bend down to help her retrieve her papers. She freezes, because she suddenly recognizes that voice, and she forgets her manners.
“Jongwoon-oppa,” she says, her voice above a whisper. She was shocked to say the least, she honestly did not expect to see him here, even more so, bump into him. Though they were attending the same school, she thought that he made it quite pretty clear to her that they are not to move in similar circles.
Yesung pauses, and wills himself not to look at the source of the voice, because he knows that voice. It maybe out of shame, for having bumped into her because of his clumsiness, or maybe even out of guilt because of all the years he’s avoided her (he admits it, he did avoid her, and he still is avoiding her); but he just can’t bring himself to face her. However, it seems that his body doesn’t operate under the same principles his mind is in, because he finds himself gauging the look of shock on her face. He wonders why she is so shocked to see him, and then he brushes the thoughts away as he hurriedly turns around.
Ryeowook blinks, and for a moment, she forgets who she’s with as she watches her music sheets flutter farther from her. She makes a reach for a particular page that Kyuhyun painstakingly composed with her during one of those odd nights, when she suddenly finds her hands touching Jongwoon’s.
As if burned, she immediately pulls back her hand, and unconsciously leans farther away from him.
“Yours?” he asks. It was a stupid question, but it needed to be asked, so that things won’t be awkward for them, he reasons, and so that he can get rid of that tingling sensation in his knuckles.
She nods, and he hands it to her. She doesn’t smile gratefully; she doesn’t feel the need to. He moves to stand up and she’s contented with piling her papers neatly.
“It’s Yesung-ssi,” he says, softly, but to Ryeowook, it’s like those unbearable bass beats, dull but somehow, deafening. She nods, even if she knows that he’s left. And suddenly it’s replaying on her head like some kind of mixtape,Yesung-ssi, Yesung-ssi. He’s right, they’re not an oppa-dongsaeng anymore, not after two years of not talking and awkward glances.
“Ryeowook!” a voice calls her from down the hallway. She turns around and she sees Kyuhyun running towards her.
“Kyuhyun,” she mouths, and she realizes that she was sitting on the floor the whole time. She stands up and brushes the dust off her skirt.
“I thought you got hijacked or something,” he jokingly says as he helps her up and takes the papers from her. “What bastard knocked you down?”
“No one,” she says with a smile. “My papers fell and I had to pick them up. I was running late, you see.”
“I know,” he says, smiling at her. “You wouldn’t be running late though if you just slept over at our house last night. You were home pretty late last night.” Ryeowook just smiles and nods.
“I don’t see Jongwoon around that often,” Ryeowook’s mother says as she pauses in stirring the sauce Ryeowook has asked her to look after. “What’s happening to him?”
“Umma! You can’t stop stirring or else it will form clumps,” Ryeowook shrieks as she cuts the bacon into strips, choosing to ignore her mother’s questions.
“Aren’t you guys talking?” her mother continues to ask. “What’s happening to him? He’s such a good kid, and when you were kids, he was always around. Do you remember, his mother would always come knocking on our door, asking for Jongwoon, and you would always hide him in your closet,” her mother chuckles. Ryeowook smiles half-heartedly, yes, she remembers those days, they were kinda unforgettable for her.
“I don’t know,” she answers with a shrug as she gets the spatula from her mother. “I don’t know what’s happening to him,” she is tempted to say that her Jongwoon oppa fell in with the bad crowd, but that would be lying.
“But don’t you go to the same school?”
“Yes, mother, we go to the same school,” she says as she stirs the sauce with vigor. “You see him riding his bike alone when you bid me and Kyuhyun goodbye.”
“I know,” her mother sneaks up from behind her. “Why don’t I go invite them over for dinner?”
Ryeowook groans. Parents and their meddling in affairs that they should not concern their selves with, she swears she wouldn’t become a meddling mother when she grows up.
“Come on, it’s the best idea, besides, I’m sure they’d appreciate your cooking.”
“Whatever you say, mother,” she sighs, resignedly. Her mother squeals in happiness, exclaiming how it’s such a good opportunity for her to catch up with Jongwoon’s mother, and Ryeowook sighs again. Her sigh was unheard by her mother though, who was off to call Mrs. Kim over. For the first time in her life, Ryeowook wishes she will never see Jongwoon.
Jongwoon is old enough to know the meaning of déjà vu, and that’s what he feels when his mother tells him that they’re going over to the Kim’s place for dinner. There was some kind of an itchy feeling in Jongwoon’s chest, when he was a kid, he knows that that feeling was brought about by his tight collar. But now, clad in a band shirt and jeans, he knows that it’s definitely not the collar that’s the problem now, although he wishes he could blame the shirt.
You’re going to see Ryeowook, a voice that oddly sounds like Heechul , says as he adjusts his shirt. He frowns, and gives the mirror a slight glare, it is definitely not Ryeowook who’s making him all itchy, and funny like this.
Dinner was awkward for Ryeowook. She was seated next to Jongwoon and she’s wondering why their parents did not seem to find anything wrong with them. Didn’t they think something was up with them when they never asked each other to pass the salt, or the kimchi, or whatever needs to be passed? Maybe they know what’s up, but they’re being like this because, well, she doesn’t really know why they’d be like this.
After everyone has praised Ryeowook for her white cream pasta (excluding Jongwoon, of course, because to her, he didn’t count), their parents left them to be in charge of the dishes while they go to Mr. and Mrs. Kim’s house next door.
They cleaned the tables quietly, Ryeowook piled the bowls and dishes while Jongwoon wiped the table clean. She was about to load it in the washer when Jongwoon suddenly takes them from her. “I’ll do it,” he says.
Ryeowook lets him, choosing to sit on the chair that has her back against him.
“I’m going out with Eunhyuk,” Yesung suddenly says out of nowhere, and she wonders how this could be relevant to her right now. She doesn’t reply nor budge, although she doesn’t deny that her hands got a bit stiffer and her teeth are gritted. “You’re going out with Kyuhyun right?”
“Yes,” she answers briefly.
“That’s good, I suppose,” Yesung mumbles. “Where’d you meet him anyway?”
“High school friend,” she emphasizes the word high school. “And then things got steady from there,” she explains.
“But for only two years?” Jongwoon can’t help but ask. “Isn’t that a bit too early for you, you don’t know each other that well?”
She snickers. “Didn’t you just know Hyukjae-sunbaenim for two years only too? What’s the difference between us two?” she challenges him.
“The difference is,” he starts to say, but cuts himself short.
“What?”
“You’re a girl and he’s not supposed to be the one,” his mind supplies for him and he is briefly shocked at how true those words are in his ears. But they aren’t apparently so for Ryeowook because she stands up so quickly the the chair screeches on the floor and almost tumbles down.
“Should it be you then? But you’re not Jongwoon-oppa anymore, right, Yesung-ssi?” she mocks him.
16:18
At eighteen years old, Yesung is alone as he steps into the pub owned by Shindong, a family friend. His mother suggested taking up some kind of a job so that he’d have extra money by the time he went to college. He merely agreed, after all. Having some extra cash never hurt anyone.
He took a deep breath, and calmed his self down. It wasn’t his first night of singing in the bar, but every night always seemed like the first nerve-wracking night ever since Eunhyuk broke up with him in order to concentrate on her studies. He never thought of her as selfish, because he only wanted the best for Hyuk, even if it meant separation.
“Good crowd today, I see,” he said as he passed by Siwon who was working as a bartender.
Siwon gave him a dimpled smile. “I know, I’ve been handing out drinks since an hour ago!”
“Don’t give the minors, alcohol! Yesung reprimanded him jokingly.
“Of course not!” Siwon said, a smile tugging at his face as he attempted to look downright insulted.
Yesung chuckled as he left him for the backstage. He was greeted by Jungmo and Jay who were classmates and friends from college who also became his coworkers.
“Are you sure we can be here?” Ryeowook asked Kyuhyun for the nth time.
Kyuhyun smiled at her cheekily. “Wookie, it’s not a strip club we’re going to! We’re going to one of those pubs where they have singers, besides my cousin works as a bartender there, we’re gonna be safe!”
“Okay, if you say so,” Ryeowook said with a bit of uncertainty.
“Come on, Wook, I’m not getting you into trouble for our second year anniversary am I?” he asked as he pecked her on the cheeks.
“I suppose so,” she replied, with a slight teasing to her voice as she looked up at her boyfriend.
Kyuhyun smiled at her briefly before scooping her up into his arms and kissing her in front of the pub entrance. They break apart and Kyuhyun smiles at her encouragingly. He pulls her inside and Ryeowook follows him willingly, holding each other’s hands tightly.
“Kyuhyunnie!” Siwon called over a tall guy who appears to be lost in a crowd of regulars. The said guy looked around for the source of the voice and he grinned when he saw Siwon waving at him.
“Come on , Wook! There’s my cousin!” Kyuhyun pointed at the smiling bartender as he steered Ryeowook towards the bar.
Ryeowook let herself be lead. Siwon immediately cleared the bar, and beckoned for his cousin, Kyuhyun to sit at the bar.
“Hey, hyung!” Kyuhyun hi-fives the bartender and Ryeowook smiles shyly at the man who was now ruffling Kyu’s hair. “Hyung! Stop it!” Kyuhyun complains and his cousin finally lets him go, she just giggles at their antics.
Kyuhyun pulls her flush against his side and smiles widely at his cousin, in her mind, she thinks she has never felt more embarrassed yet so deeply in love with him. “This is the love of my life,” he says, hugging her tighter as he introduces her
“Ryeowook.” She gives a shy wave and blushes when Kyuhyun’s cousin comes closer.
“Glad to finally meet you,” the bartender says as he smiles at her. “I’m Siwon, and I’ve heard lots of things about you from this guy here,” he points at Kyuhyun who was grinning stupidly.
“All good things, I hope,” she says with a chuckle.
“Of course,” he assures her. “Based on the way Kyuhyun here talks about you, I doubt he’d ever utter a bad thing about you,” Siwon says. He leans in closer to her, faking a whisper. “Between you and me, I’d say you’ve done a good job of having him wrapped around your fingers,” he laughs. “You’ve got him whipped!”
Ryeowook laughs and shakes her head, but all the while blushing at Siwon’s words. She sneaks a look at Kyuhyun who was spluttering and she can’t help but think that it’s adorable of him.
“Hey, I’m not that whipped!” Kyuhyun protests and Ryeowook mockingly glares at him. And then he shuts up. Siwon could only laugh at them.
“You are so whipped, Kyuhyun!” he says as he makes a whipping noise with his tea towel. Kyuhyun ignores him and chooses to just stare Ryeowook down before the two erupts into laughter. He pulls Ryeowook against his chest and drops a kiss on her forehead, and she wishes that she can just keep this image frozen in her mind forever, unmoving like a photo yet so emotive that she can feel their emotions thick on their skins, draping over them like some kind of a curtain of blessings.
“Hi, hyung, can I ask you a small, small favour?” Siwon says as soon as he steps in to the room where Yesung and his bandmates were currently preparing themselves before they go onstage.
Yesung shakes his head and laughs. “Siwon, the last time you asked a small, small favour from me, it turned out to be something really huge and that something also almost got me into trouble,” he reminds him.
“But hyung, this time it’s a safe favour,” Siwon pleads, and although Yesung might appear uninterested, he’s a good hyung and he is always ready to help.
“Okay, go ahead, I’m listening.”
“Well, my cousin and his girlfriend are here, and they’re celebrating their 2nd anniversary. Maybe you could sing a song for them?” Siwon asks him, very hopeful.
“Okay,” he says. “What song and to whom should I dedicate it to?”
“To Ryeowook, from Kyuhyun,” Siwon replies.
Yesung wonders when he stopped singing for Ryeowook. When they were kids, they’d sing to each other almost all of the time. They’d sing love songs, children’s rhymes, noraebang hits, anything with a tune they’ll sing it together and sing it to each other. They were that close, but today is a different story. Even if he’s the one singing, he’s pretty sure that Ryeowook would not hear him speaking the words, but would hear Kyuhyun singing to her instead. He hums the song and then stops, finding himself listening to Jay rap the parts for the song he’s about to dedicate to Ryeowook. He can’t do this, he thinks, although he’s not sure why he can’t.
“Yesung?” Jungmo waves his right hand in front of him, breaking his train of thought.
“Huh? What is it?” he asks, surprised.
“Yunho just came in, we should be on.”
He scans the pub for a familiar face, but seeing as the lights were dimmed for mood lighting; it was a bit difficult for him to look for her.
“Are we ready yet?” he asks Jay , a bit pissed off that they’re taking too long to prepare on the stage. They can’t be given a spotlight unless they’re all done connecting and fine tuning the instruments.
“In a bit,” Jay responds as he does some last tuning of his guitar, in the background, Jungmo could be heard drumming out the starting beats on his snare.
The stage that was dimly lit slowly came to life with more spotlights illuminating it. Ryeowook’s eyes widen when she sees who’s onstage, hands reflexively pulling away from Kyuhyun’s which were currently holding hers tightly. She barely hears a “What’s wrong?” from Kyuhyun when Yesung starts to tap on his microphone.
Deeming the microphone functional, Yesung clears his throat and smiles at the blurry crowd below him. He mentally hits his head when he remembers that he forgot his glasses in the backstage and that he also didn’t have his contacts on. He’s yet to find Ryeowook in the crowd.
“Hi, good evening,” he says and cheers from regulars and his other workmates can be heard. “Isn’t it a nice night?” he asks them and they answer with a roaring yes. His eyes finally adjusted to the light and he can see more clearly now. Sweeping the crowd with his clearer vision, his eyes fall on a couple sitting by the last row. He squints a little, trying to see them better, there’s something familiar about this couple.
“So, this song that I’m going to sing is a song for a pretty girl,” he says, he’s looking at the couple at the last row. Something about them tells him that they’re the ones he should be singing for. And he’s right, because Siwon hoots and Yunho suddenly turns one of the spotlights towards them.
“Oh god, what’s this?” Ryeowook suddenly turns to Kyuhyun who was telling her to wave.
“It’s one of my gifts for you tonight,” Kyuhyun answers her as he kisses her on her cheek. She blushes, and with the crowd cheering and clapping for them she wishes that she can disappear. She’s not that used to all the attention on her, but she’s happy, she’s genuinely happy, she tells herself.
Yesung swallows the lump in his throat when he sees Kyuhyun kiss Ryeowook and hold her against him. He lets the crowd cheer for them so that he can compose himself. After a few seconds with the cheers dying down and the crowd starting to egg him into singing, he finally speaks.
“What a lovely couple those two are,” his eyes never leaving Ryeowook alone, but she doesn’t seem to notice since she’s so absorbed in Kyuhyun.
“This song is for Ryeowook-ssi.”
Ryeowook stops hitting Kyuhyun playfully and Kyuhyun rubs his sides, making a show of being in pain. She looks at Yesung and
she’s a bit startled to see him looking at her like that. She wants to look away, but her eyes don’t pay her any attention.
Yesung smiles, finally he’s caught her attention. He smiles at her, hoping that she’d feel his sincerity, but he’s not surprised when a look away was what was returned.
“I loved you then. I love you now. I will still love you,” Yesung says, feeling as if he was the one who’s talking to Ryeowook instead of Kyuhyun speaking through him. “We’ve only had two years,” he continues, and this time he feels disconnected to her as he watches Kyuhyun pull Ryeowook closer to him. “But it feels like forever, and I want to make us longer.”
He closes his eyes, wishing that he was the one who could say these words.
“You’re my endless love, Wookie-ah,” Yesung says, unaware that he just called her Wookie instead of Ryeowook. Nobody seemed to notice though, except for her. She looks away from Kyuhyun, who seems pleased at the words he’s hearing, and looks at Jongwoon, no, it was Yesung now.
Yesung opens his eyes and he’s a bit surprised to find Ryeowook staring at him now. But instead of holding her gaze, he is the one to look away first because he feels like he’s robbing Kyuhyun of their moment.
And then the intro of the song starts, and Yesung straightens up because now he’s singing for Ryeowook and he has no idea when he’ll sing to her again.
When she feels Kyuhyun’s arms around her, echoing the words that are currently coming out of Yesung, she looks away from the stage and pays attention to Kyuhyun instead. Ryeowook feels ashamed to be caught staring at Yesung intently, but in her defence, no nothing would defend her because she admits it herself, Yesung singing is attractive Yesung (and her mind mocks her by saying that Yesung is always attractive). In her mind, she thinks that what she’s doing is wrong, it’s not supposed to be this way. She should be singing this to Kyu, like what he’s doing to her. It’s one of their favourite songs, and this should only be between them; but now that Yesung’s singing it for her, she realizes how non-exclusive this song could be, because Yesung’s voice fits right in and if she wasn’t careful, it might be Yesung’s voice that she’d hear soon enough instead of Kyuhyun’s.
The band takes a break from singing, giving Yunho, the pub’s very own DJ, the floor for him to control. Couples and small groups littered the small dancefloor , swaying to Yunho’s beats as Yesung weaved in and through them to get to the dressing room where he left his things.
"Hey Yesung!” Jay calls him from the bar. He turns around to look at him questioningly. “Where are you going?”
“Home,” he sheepishly says as he brings a hand to the back of his head.
Jay stands up from his stool and strides over to him. “This early? It’s only 10 pm, we only did 2 hours.”
“I’ve got to turn in early, sorry,” he replies.
“Why? It’s not like we have requirements tomorrow right?” Jay asks him. “Can’t you at least stay for an hour more?”
“I can’t,” Yesung shakes his head. “Besides I’ve told Shindong just a minute ago and he said it’s okay. Heechul hyung will be here anyways so he can cover for me,” he shrugs.
Jay looks at him calculatingly and then sighs. “Fine then.”
“I’ll make it up to you guys, somehow. For now, I gotta run,” he says and with that he waves Jay away and pushes him towards the bar again.
When Yesung exits the pub, he doesn’t expect to see Ryewook standing outside without Kyuhyun. He stops, mentally debating with himself whether he should go approach her or not. In the end, he chickens out, it’s not like he has anything to say to her anyways. Should he come over and congratulate her on their anniversary? He could but he doesn’t want to, and frankly, since they’ve cut ties two years ago, he was pretty sure she wouldn’t care. He was about to turn around the corner of the pub when someone calls him.
“Yesung-ssi?” the voice was faint, but of course he knew who it was.
He turns around because he’s caught and he’s not about to burn another bridge between them. “Yes?” he asks her.
Kyuhyun told her that he had a surprise for her. She thinks it’s sweet but it’s honestly getting ridiculous. This night for her was full of surprises, and they were all pleasant, but she was uncomfortable with all the extravagance. Sometimes she wonders why Kyuhyun works so hard. It’s not that she doesn’t appreciate all his efforts and gifts, sometimes it was just too overwhelming for her.
She turns around, a bit impatient since she’s been waiting outside for Kyuhyun for almost 30 minutes now; and that’s when she sees Yesung about to turn at the corner.
“Yesung-ssi,” she calls for him, and she honestly has no idea why she would do that, but her feet are already moving towards him.
“Yes?” Yesung says and Ryeowook wonders where the singing and warm Yesung from hours ago disappeared to.
“I, I just wanted to thank you for singing that song,” she says with a slight smile. “For us,” she continues after a brief pause, just before the ‘For me,’ itched to come out.
“Oh, that,” Yesung says, not really sure what to say to her. “You’re welcome, I guess. Is there anything else?” he asks, he knows it’s rude but he really doesn’t want to hear her talk about them. When Ryeowook does not reply, Yesung shrugs and starts walking.
And then Ryeowook pulls on his hand, stopping him from going any further.
He turns around and looks at her.
“It’s Ryeowook-ssi, not Wookie-ah,” she says.
PART 2
Author: pinefir
Pairing: yesung/girl!ryeowook, girl!ryeowook/kyuhyun, girl!ryeowook/henry, girl!ryeowook/sungmin, yesung/girl!eunhyuk, sungmin/girl!zhoumi, kyuhyun/girl!zhoumi
Genre: fluff/drama/angst
Rating: pg
Summary: “Do you not plan to stay with me until forever? Why only give yourself eighty years with me?” Sometimes, the best decisions come to you only after you’ve spent your entire life making the wrong ones.
Warning: AU!, genderswitch
Words: 11312
AN: it gets a bit draggy in the middle, and it's because i've done this 5 months ago and i forgot all about it. the writing style changes from time to time since i didn't write this continuously. it's too long yet too short. and the ending is abrupt and open for interpretation. i honestly don't know if i'm gonna write a sequel for this, i'm not much of a yewook shipper anyway. but i hope you guys enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it even if it took me almost half a year to finish such a boring ass story. inspirations came from : broken by lifehouse, shiver by natalie imbruglia, bring me flowers by hope, just a feeling by maroon 5. i've basically made a soundtrack for this fic because lol . this has been a long ass author's note. i will not hold you back from the angst .i'd probably make a spinoff about kyu/wook mi/min though but knowing me, it;'d probably take another 5 months.
PART 1 | PART 2
I haven’t got a clue if you’re the one
But I like you
And I like the way you make me feel
2:4
When Ryeowook was two, Jongwoon was four.
Jongwoon was quite irritable that day. His mother has forced him into an itchy and ugly shirt plus he also had to take a longer bath.
Needless to say, his four year old self wasn’t amused when he learned from his parents that they are to visit the newly-moved neighbours.
He pouted and cried and whined, hoping against hope that his cries will make his parents, (a) pity him and as such, he won’t be forced to go there anymore, or (b) become annoyed and thus leave him to play with his toys. But his plan didn’t work. He still has to go to their neighbour in his ugly, and itchy and yellow (eww) shirt.
When they reached the house (it was only a few steps away), Jongwoon was all ready to go home and it showed on his face. His pout and burrowed eyebrows gave all his discomfort away.
“Jongwoon-ah,” his mother says as she pulls his chin up. “Be polite.”
Jongwoon just huffs and stomps his foot.
His mother’s eyes twitches, and he’s quite ready to pitch a fit if ever his mother tries something on him. Fortunately for the two, his father was much more calm and considerate. A hand placed on Jongwoon’s shoulder and a hand entwined with his wife’s calmed the two down.
“Jongwoon-ah, you’re going to meet a friend today! Be nice to her okay?” his father said, as he ruffled Jongwooon’s hair.
Jongwoon, having a bias for his father, smiled at him and answered. “Okay, appa!”
His father took his hand and together with his mother, they were welcomed inside the quite big house. Jongwoon oohed and aahed at all the paintings they passed through the hallway. His irritation disappeared and was now replaced with amusement as he let his hands run through the different paintings on the walls.
After fifteen minutes or so of the grownups talking and sharing stories about the neighbourhood, Jongwoon got bored and started shifting in his seat. He tugged at his mother’s sleeve, who was conveniently sitting next to him. “Umma! I’m bored.”
His mother only ignored him.
He sunk back and he pouted, again. He started kicking his legs. “Umma!”
His mother only shushed him, however, their new lady neighbour noticed him and smiled at him gently. “Jongwoon, would you like to meet my daughter?”
Jongwoon looked up at her and shrugged. She smiled at his antics and beckoned to the boy. Soon enough, Jongwoon was toddling towards a yellow door. He gave an involuntary shudder, he hated yellow so much.
There in the middle of the room, stood a crib. He could hear baby chuckles and some melodic sound he used to hear when he was still a baby. His new lady neighbour held out a hand for him to grab. He took her hand and followed her towards the crib.
“Would you like to see my Wookie?” she asked Jongwoon.
Jongwoon nodded.
Inside the crib was probably the prettiest thing Jongwoon saw.
The girl was staring amusedly at the mobile, and Jongwoon could see her eyes widen once she saw him in her mother’s arms.
“Wookie-ah,” the lady spoke to the baby. “Meet your new friend, call him Jongwoon-oppa.”
And then, Jongwoon suddenly found himself being lowered inside the crib.
“Come on Jongwoon, don’t be shy,” he can hear his mother say.
He followed his mother’s urgings and looked at the baby girl who was now crawling towards him. He reached out a hand to her, but she seems intent on crawling towards him.
Back then, Jongwoon and Ryeowook had no idea that they were already making their own little world. Jongwoon didn’t even notice his parents and the new neighbours leaving them all alone to play.
And when she finally reached him, she put her fingers in front of him. They glistened with something wet, and Jongwoon knows at his young age that he wouldn’t want those wet fingers near him. He would have cried at the instant the wet fingers touched his face, but he stopped.
“Woon-oppa?”
6:4
When Jongwoon was six, Ryeowook was four.
In the two years that Ryeowook has known her Jongwoon-oppa, she found out that Jongwoon is somewhat a bit quick to anger. There are some things that she does that make him unhappy and stop playing with her. It usually takes Ryeowook a day to make her Jongwoon-oppa play with her again, it may seem short, but she’s unhappy when he isn’t there to play with her.
It was already 8:30. Her Jongwoon-oppa seems to be thirty minutes late (or at least that’s what her mother said when she asked her what day it is).
“Umma,” Ryeowook padded towards her mother who was currently doing some painting. Her mother hummed in response.
“Umma, where is Jongwoon-oppa? Are you sure it’s still Thurday today? Isn’t it Friday already? Jongwoon oppa is not here. He didn’t come, it must be the next day already! Is he mad at me, umma? What if he won’t come by tomorrow? Will we still be friends? Is he going to move out? Where is he? I promise I won’t lick his cheeks anymore! But, he should promise not to touch my lips too!”
“Wookie, wookie slow down,” her mother said leaving her painting behind to accommodate the unstoppable girl. Ryeowook shut her mouth. “Jongwoon-oppa went to school today, didn’t he tell you?”
Ryeowook pouted. “No he didn’t,” she said, saddened by the fact that she won’t be seeing her oppa today. “He must be mad at me. That’s why he didn’t tell me anything.”
“Aww, Wookie, don’t be sad,” her mother said, hugging Ryewook who was on the verge of tears. “Your oppa might have forgotten, that’s why he didn’t tell you.”
“It’s not fair, I’ll be stuck waiting for him being bored!” Ryeowook whined.
“Darling,” her mother started as she put her hand under Ryeowook’s chin to pull it up. “Why don’t you just help umma?”
Ryeowook sighed. “But umma I can’t draw, I’ll just ruin your paintings!”
“Then just sing me a song on the piano okay? The one your father taught you last night!”
“Okay then umma,” Ryeowook said, beaming at her before bounding over to the covered piano.
Ryeowook has been playing on her piano for hours now, but she didn’t mind because she was totally engrossed with the random melodies she’s been making. That’s why she suddenly shrieked when he felt the chair dip beside her and a pair of hands joined her in playing.
“Jongwoon-oppa!” she said, throwing her arms around the guy who was pressing random keys on the piano.
Jongwoon smiled at her as he tried to pry her off him, but she wouldn’t let go. And then, suddenly he found himself on the floor sitting on his butt.
“What was that for?” he asked Ryeowook who was now standing over him and looking at him pointedly.
“You’re a mean oppa!” Ryeowook said, eyes slowly brimming with tears. “You made me wait for two days!”
“Huh? But it’s still Thursday!”
“I don’t care, you made me wait too long! You’re mean! You’re mean! Plus you didn’t tell me you’re going to school now! You’re mean. You don’t want to play with me anymore!” Ryeowook said accusingly.
Jongwoon stared at her with wide eyes once big, fat tears came falling down from her eyes. He hesitantly approached her. And as soon as he came closer, Ryeowook launched herself at him.
“I missed you so much, oppa! I thought you were mad at me and you didn’t want to play with me anymore! And, and you didn’t tell me you’re going to school! You’re leaving me! ME! How could you leave me?”
Jongwoon could only pat her back awkwardly as she continued wailing to him. He felt, happy? Happy that at least Ryeowook missed him, but he feels uncomfortable seeing her cry. He never made her cry, even though there were times where they had fights, she never cried.
He wrapped his pudgy arms around his playmate and continued patting at her back.
“Sorry, Wookie, oppa’s sorry.”
Ryeowook separated herself from him and looked up at him, “Really oppa? You’re sorry?”
Jongwoon nodded.
“Then tell me what you did today! Did you sing in school? Did you like school? Do you have new friends now? I’ll still be your best and only girl friend right, oppa?”
12:14
When Ryeowook was 12, Jongwoon was 14.
It was Ryeowook’s first day in middle school. It was the day she’s always been waiting for ever since her bestfriend and oppa in one, Jongwoon, graduated from elementary. Since he was already in middle school,that meant that he’s supposed to attend another school. That also meant that he and Ryeowook won’t be eating lunch together anymore, and that she won’t be riding on his bike on their way to school. She was gonna miss a lot of things, and it was all because her oppa was graduating.
In the two years that Ryeowook didn’t get to see him, she didn’t think that she was doing anything wrong when she started to keep to herself. She had friends, but she would always find herself alone while eating lunch under the tree where she and Jongwoon used to eat. Her friends would invite her to lunch, or Henry, that Canadian kid, would always want to sit with her under that tree, but she always found excuses to eat alone.
She also refused to be accompanied by her classmates and friends when she walks home. Her mother was worrying about her, wondering why she’s like that. And Ryeowook denies it at first, but her mother reveals to her that Henry’s been keeping her informed so there was no use lying. In the end, just to placate her mother that no, nobody’s going to take advantage of her, Henry started hanging out with her. She enjoyed Henry’s presence, but he wasn’t Jongwoon, so she was always quiet around him, listening to his stories of Canada in bad Korean.
But that was all in the past, because the moment she steps out of her room, everything will be back to normal. Jongwoon will be in the living room, waiting for her, because they’re going to the same school now, and it’s only right that their tradition of going to school together be continued.
But there was no Jongwoon waiting for her in the living room.
Instead, there was her father, reading the paper.
“Appa?”
Her father looked up, “Oh, Wookie, you look really pretty in that uniform! Are you ready to go now? I’ll be dropping you off at school from now on.”
Ryeowook could only nod her head in response. “Of course , Appa.”
She suddenly felt nervous when she climbed out of the car. Her father wished her goodluck, but in her mind, everything would be better if Jongwoon was there to guide her.
She sighed as she adjusted her bag strap. Henry wasn’t going to this school, he had to go back to Canada, so she was alone again. She just shrugged and looked at the schedule in her hand, her first class was English 1, and it says that she has to go the CA building, but she didn’t know where it was.
She looked around, hoping something would point her to the said building when her eyes fell on a guy with black messy hair walking with a weird bunch of guys. They were five in total, there was a blonde guy, a red-haired guy, a Chinese guy and a big guy.
Her eyes widened when she realized who it was.
“Jongwoon-oppa!” she called as she started running towards the weird group.
The messy, black-haired teen turned around when he heard his name being called. The others turned around too. He saw a girl, no, Ryeowook running towards him and he had to fight a grin. He was with his friends, he wasn’t supposed to know any freshmen or it might give him bad rep.
“Jongwoon oppa!” Ryeowook said, a bit out of breath.
Jongwoon didn’t answer.
“You know her?” Kangin, the big guy asked him.
Heechul, the red haired one, tutted at Ryeowook.
Ryeowook ignored them, she directed her smile at Jongwoon.
“Oppa, I’m going to this school too! Isn’t it great?”
“Uh, uh, yeah it’s great, Ryeowook-ah,” Jongwoon nodded sheepishly, minding the curious stares of his friends.
“Your friend?” Leeteuk, the blonde guy asked him.
“Something like that,” Jongwoon answered in a small voice. Ryeowook frowned.
“I’m his best friend,” she corrected them.
Hankyung the Chinese guy let out a loose laugh, the others soon followed suit.
“We’ll see you in class, Yesung!” Heechul said, clapping Yesung’s back as he passed him.
“Yesung?” Ryeowook asked.
“That’s what they call me,“ he said in a low voice. He wasn’t looking at her.
“Oh,” she said. “Hmm, oppa, maybe you can show me around?”
Jongwoon looked at her in shock. “Oh, no, no no. I can’t show you around, uhm, the guys, they’re waiting for me, and I’ll be very
busy!”
Ryeowook nodded, feeling a bit disappointed. “Oh, okay, maybe you could just tell me where CA is?”
“Yeah it’s just there,” he said as he pointed to the cream building off to his left. Ryeowook nodded as a sign of thanks. “I’ll go now,
Ryeowook-ah.”
She watched him run towards the same building he pointed to her, and she can’t help but frown. If he was going to be in the same building, why didn’t he just walk with her?
She sighed again, not really understanding what was happening. She started walking towards the said building, determined to not let Jongwoon, or Yesung, ruin her day. With a smile on her face, she took a deep breath and ---.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” a tall and gangly looking boy said as he bumped into her, his papers and notebooks flying out of his reach.
She bent down to help him retrieve his papers. “It’s okay.”
Once all his things were already with him, the guy started apologizing again. “I’m really sorry, I’m still a freshman here.”
She smiled at him. “It’s not a big deal, really. I’m a freshman too, I’m headed for the English 1, you?”
He smiled at her toothily, “English 1 too.”
“I’m Ryeowook,” she said as they walked towards the building.
“I’m Kyuhyun.”
16: 14
When Jongwoon was 16, he didn’t want to be called Jongwoon anymore, and he was pretty sure that his friendship with Ryeowook was pretty irreparable now. He gulped as he saw Ryeowook pass by their table, laughing and holding hands with the boy-genius Cho Kyuhyun.
“Sungie, is there something wrong?” Eunhyuk, a classmate of his, and the girl he’s been seeing for a year now, asked him.
“No, no, nothing’s wrong,“ he told her with a smile. She smiled back at him gummily. “Hey, Hyuk?”
“Hmm?” she hummed in response.
“I love you.”
Eunhyuk smiled at him. “I love you too, Yesung,” she replied sweetly, before leaning over to kiss him on the lips. Yesung smiled against her lips, and suddenly, he felt as if everything was just right, it was as if nobody mattered to him anymore but the girl who was kissing him and giving him so much happiness now.
Ryeowook sat down beside Donghae who currently has his mouth wide open. She threw a questioning glance to Sungmin, Donghae’s twin brother.
“What’s with him?” Ryeowook asked Sungmin.
“I don’t know?” Sungmin shrugged. “Where’s Kyu?”
“Oh, he just went to buy some lunch,” she answered.
“Ahh, I see.”
“Yesung-sunbae is so lucky,” Donghae said with a frown.
Ryeowook froze at the mention of Yesung. Sungmin sighed and asked, “What is it this time, Hae?”
“Look at them!” Donghae pointed to where Yesung was sitting with Eunhyuk, Yesung would steal glances of Eunhyuk while she chatted with their friends, and when Eunhyuk catches him staring, she would smile at him and start poking his cheeks. “I know Yesung sunbae is a great guy, but I can’t help but feel jealous when I see them together.”
Ryeowook gulped. “Why?”
“You do know that I’ve asked her out, right?” Donghae asked no one in particular. “And now, she’s going out with him, it’s been a year. And,ahh, all I know is I could have had that!”
Sungmin sighed. “Tough luck brother, just , I don’t know, there’s this Kibum girl you’ve had your eyes on right? Why not her?”
Donghae shook his head. “You wouldn’t understand it, hyung. After all you already have your precious Mi.”
Sungmin huffed and frowned at him. “Okaaaaaaay. I’ll just go look for Mi, she might need some help with her books, I’ll see you two kids around later!” he said as he finished his sandwich and straightened his bag. He was off to find his Chinese girlfriend.
Donghae slammed his head on the table as soon as Sungmin was out of sight. Ryeowook slid closer to Donghae to pat him on his back. She was tempted to say that she understood him perfectly, and that she also wished to have that.
‘Uhm, Hae, I completely understand how you feel,” she said.
Hae looked up at her confused. “How could you? You already have Kyuhyun!”
She just shrugged. True, she had Kyuhyun, but, she can’t help but feel that it isn’t right.
“Wookie?” a voice asked as she felts arms being wrapped around at her waist. “I’m sorry, the cafeteria lady refused to give me ‘special treatment’ by removing the mushrooms you were allergic to, I’ll just pick them out for you.”
Ryeowook turned around to face her boyfriend and smiled brightly at him. “Oh, don’t worry Kyu, I’ll just do it myself, besides didn’t I already ask you not to request things like that from the cafeteria ladies? Cooking is difficult enough on its own!’
“I know, but a little extra wouldn’t hurt right?” Kyuhyun asked her.
“True, but really it’s okay Kyu,” she sad, holding Kyu’s face in her hands.
“Okay, if you say so,” Kyu said as he leaned his forehead against her. Ryeowook pecked him on the lips, and she could feel him smile against her. Sighing, she wondered how the hell she even thought she was jealous of what Eunhyuk has when it was pretty obvious that what she had with Kyu was so much better.
Ryeowook has no one to blame but herself, she thinks, as she suddenly finds herself knocked down and lying on the floor with all her sheets fluttering around her. She pushes herself up, not noticing a hand that was shoved in her face, and proceeds to gather her papers.
“I’m sorry,” the person who she bumped into says as she sees him bend down to help her retrieve her papers. She freezes, because she suddenly recognizes that voice, and she forgets her manners.
“Jongwoon-oppa,” she says, her voice above a whisper. She was shocked to say the least, she honestly did not expect to see him here, even more so, bump into him. Though they were attending the same school, she thought that he made it quite pretty clear to her that they are not to move in similar circles.
Yesung pauses, and wills himself not to look at the source of the voice, because he knows that voice. It maybe out of shame, for having bumped into her because of his clumsiness, or maybe even out of guilt because of all the years he’s avoided her (he admits it, he did avoid her, and he still is avoiding her); but he just can’t bring himself to face her. However, it seems that his body doesn’t operate under the same principles his mind is in, because he finds himself gauging the look of shock on her face. He wonders why she is so shocked to see him, and then he brushes the thoughts away as he hurriedly turns around.
Ryeowook blinks, and for a moment, she forgets who she’s with as she watches her music sheets flutter farther from her. She makes a reach for a particular page that Kyuhyun painstakingly composed with her during one of those odd nights, when she suddenly finds her hands touching Jongwoon’s.
As if burned, she immediately pulls back her hand, and unconsciously leans farther away from him.
“Yours?” he asks. It was a stupid question, but it needed to be asked, so that things won’t be awkward for them, he reasons, and so that he can get rid of that tingling sensation in his knuckles.
She nods, and he hands it to her. She doesn’t smile gratefully; she doesn’t feel the need to. He moves to stand up and she’s contented with piling her papers neatly.
“It’s Yesung-ssi,” he says, softly, but to Ryeowook, it’s like those unbearable bass beats, dull but somehow, deafening. She nods, even if she knows that he’s left. And suddenly it’s replaying on her head like some kind of mixtape,Yesung-ssi, Yesung-ssi. He’s right, they’re not an oppa-dongsaeng anymore, not after two years of not talking and awkward glances.
“Ryeowook!” a voice calls her from down the hallway. She turns around and she sees Kyuhyun running towards her.
“Kyuhyun,” she mouths, and she realizes that she was sitting on the floor the whole time. She stands up and brushes the dust off her skirt.
“I thought you got hijacked or something,” he jokingly says as he helps her up and takes the papers from her. “What bastard knocked you down?”
“No one,” she says with a smile. “My papers fell and I had to pick them up. I was running late, you see.”
“I know,” he says, smiling at her. “You wouldn’t be running late though if you just slept over at our house last night. You were home pretty late last night.” Ryeowook just smiles and nods.
“I don’t see Jongwoon around that often,” Ryeowook’s mother says as she pauses in stirring the sauce Ryeowook has asked her to look after. “What’s happening to him?”
“Umma! You can’t stop stirring or else it will form clumps,” Ryeowook shrieks as she cuts the bacon into strips, choosing to ignore her mother’s questions.
“Aren’t you guys talking?” her mother continues to ask. “What’s happening to him? He’s such a good kid, and when you were kids, he was always around. Do you remember, his mother would always come knocking on our door, asking for Jongwoon, and you would always hide him in your closet,” her mother chuckles. Ryeowook smiles half-heartedly, yes, she remembers those days, they were kinda unforgettable for her.
“I don’t know,” she answers with a shrug as she gets the spatula from her mother. “I don’t know what’s happening to him,” she is tempted to say that her Jongwoon oppa fell in with the bad crowd, but that would be lying.
“But don’t you go to the same school?”
“Yes, mother, we go to the same school,” she says as she stirs the sauce with vigor. “You see him riding his bike alone when you bid me and Kyuhyun goodbye.”
“I know,” her mother sneaks up from behind her. “Why don’t I go invite them over for dinner?”
Ryeowook groans. Parents and their meddling in affairs that they should not concern their selves with, she swears she wouldn’t become a meddling mother when she grows up.
“Come on, it’s the best idea, besides, I’m sure they’d appreciate your cooking.”
“Whatever you say, mother,” she sighs, resignedly. Her mother squeals in happiness, exclaiming how it’s such a good opportunity for her to catch up with Jongwoon’s mother, and Ryeowook sighs again. Her sigh was unheard by her mother though, who was off to call Mrs. Kim over. For the first time in her life, Ryeowook wishes she will never see Jongwoon.
Jongwoon is old enough to know the meaning of déjà vu, and that’s what he feels when his mother tells him that they’re going over to the Kim’s place for dinner. There was some kind of an itchy feeling in Jongwoon’s chest, when he was a kid, he knows that that feeling was brought about by his tight collar. But now, clad in a band shirt and jeans, he knows that it’s definitely not the collar that’s the problem now, although he wishes he could blame the shirt.
You’re going to see Ryeowook, a voice that oddly sounds like Heechul , says as he adjusts his shirt. He frowns, and gives the mirror a slight glare, it is definitely not Ryeowook who’s making him all itchy, and funny like this.
Dinner was awkward for Ryeowook. She was seated next to Jongwoon and she’s wondering why their parents did not seem to find anything wrong with them. Didn’t they think something was up with them when they never asked each other to pass the salt, or the kimchi, or whatever needs to be passed? Maybe they know what’s up, but they’re being like this because, well, she doesn’t really know why they’d be like this.
After everyone has praised Ryeowook for her white cream pasta (excluding Jongwoon, of course, because to her, he didn’t count), their parents left them to be in charge of the dishes while they go to Mr. and Mrs. Kim’s house next door.
They cleaned the tables quietly, Ryeowook piled the bowls and dishes while Jongwoon wiped the table clean. She was about to load it in the washer when Jongwoon suddenly takes them from her. “I’ll do it,” he says.
Ryeowook lets him, choosing to sit on the chair that has her back against him.
“I’m going out with Eunhyuk,” Yesung suddenly says out of nowhere, and she wonders how this could be relevant to her right now. She doesn’t reply nor budge, although she doesn’t deny that her hands got a bit stiffer and her teeth are gritted. “You’re going out with Kyuhyun right?”
“Yes,” she answers briefly.
“That’s good, I suppose,” Yesung mumbles. “Where’d you meet him anyway?”
“High school friend,” she emphasizes the word high school. “And then things got steady from there,” she explains.
“But for only two years?” Jongwoon can’t help but ask. “Isn’t that a bit too early for you, you don’t know each other that well?”
She snickers. “Didn’t you just know Hyukjae-sunbaenim for two years only too? What’s the difference between us two?” she challenges him.
“The difference is,” he starts to say, but cuts himself short.
“What?”
“You’re a girl and he’s not supposed to be the one,” his mind supplies for him and he is briefly shocked at how true those words are in his ears. But they aren’t apparently so for Ryeowook because she stands up so quickly the the chair screeches on the floor and almost tumbles down.
“Should it be you then? But you’re not Jongwoon-oppa anymore, right, Yesung-ssi?” she mocks him.
16:18
At eighteen years old, Yesung is alone as he steps into the pub owned by Shindong, a family friend. His mother suggested taking up some kind of a job so that he’d have extra money by the time he went to college. He merely agreed, after all. Having some extra cash never hurt anyone.
He took a deep breath, and calmed his self down. It wasn’t his first night of singing in the bar, but every night always seemed like the first nerve-wracking night ever since Eunhyuk broke up with him in order to concentrate on her studies. He never thought of her as selfish, because he only wanted the best for Hyuk, even if it meant separation.
“Good crowd today, I see,” he said as he passed by Siwon who was working as a bartender.
Siwon gave him a dimpled smile. “I know, I’ve been handing out drinks since an hour ago!”
“Don’t give the minors, alcohol! Yesung reprimanded him jokingly.
“Of course not!” Siwon said, a smile tugging at his face as he attempted to look downright insulted.
Yesung chuckled as he left him for the backstage. He was greeted by Jungmo and Jay who were classmates and friends from college who also became his coworkers.
“Are you sure we can be here?” Ryeowook asked Kyuhyun for the nth time.
Kyuhyun smiled at her cheekily. “Wookie, it’s not a strip club we’re going to! We’re going to one of those pubs where they have singers, besides my cousin works as a bartender there, we’re gonna be safe!”
“Okay, if you say so,” Ryeowook said with a bit of uncertainty.
“Come on, Wook, I’m not getting you into trouble for our second year anniversary am I?” he asked as he pecked her on the cheeks.
“I suppose so,” she replied, with a slight teasing to her voice as she looked up at her boyfriend.
Kyuhyun smiled at her briefly before scooping her up into his arms and kissing her in front of the pub entrance. They break apart and Kyuhyun smiles at her encouragingly. He pulls her inside and Ryeowook follows him willingly, holding each other’s hands tightly.
“Kyuhyunnie!” Siwon called over a tall guy who appears to be lost in a crowd of regulars. The said guy looked around for the source of the voice and he grinned when he saw Siwon waving at him.
“Come on , Wook! There’s my cousin!” Kyuhyun pointed at the smiling bartender as he steered Ryeowook towards the bar.
Ryeowook let herself be lead. Siwon immediately cleared the bar, and beckoned for his cousin, Kyuhyun to sit at the bar.
“Hey, hyung!” Kyuhyun hi-fives the bartender and Ryeowook smiles shyly at the man who was now ruffling Kyu’s hair. “Hyung! Stop it!” Kyuhyun complains and his cousin finally lets him go, she just giggles at their antics.
Kyuhyun pulls her flush against his side and smiles widely at his cousin, in her mind, she thinks she has never felt more embarrassed yet so deeply in love with him. “This is the love of my life,” he says, hugging her tighter as he introduces her
“Ryeowook.” She gives a shy wave and blushes when Kyuhyun’s cousin comes closer.
“Glad to finally meet you,” the bartender says as he smiles at her. “I’m Siwon, and I’ve heard lots of things about you from this guy here,” he points at Kyuhyun who was grinning stupidly.
“All good things, I hope,” she says with a chuckle.
“Of course,” he assures her. “Based on the way Kyuhyun here talks about you, I doubt he’d ever utter a bad thing about you,” Siwon says. He leans in closer to her, faking a whisper. “Between you and me, I’d say you’ve done a good job of having him wrapped around your fingers,” he laughs. “You’ve got him whipped!”
Ryeowook laughs and shakes her head, but all the while blushing at Siwon’s words. She sneaks a look at Kyuhyun who was spluttering and she can’t help but think that it’s adorable of him.
“Hey, I’m not that whipped!” Kyuhyun protests and Ryeowook mockingly glares at him. And then he shuts up. Siwon could only laugh at them.
“You are so whipped, Kyuhyun!” he says as he makes a whipping noise with his tea towel. Kyuhyun ignores him and chooses to just stare Ryeowook down before the two erupts into laughter. He pulls Ryeowook against his chest and drops a kiss on her forehead, and she wishes that she can just keep this image frozen in her mind forever, unmoving like a photo yet so emotive that she can feel their emotions thick on their skins, draping over them like some kind of a curtain of blessings.
“Hi, hyung, can I ask you a small, small favour?” Siwon says as soon as he steps in to the room where Yesung and his bandmates were currently preparing themselves before they go onstage.
Yesung shakes his head and laughs. “Siwon, the last time you asked a small, small favour from me, it turned out to be something really huge and that something also almost got me into trouble,” he reminds him.
“But hyung, this time it’s a safe favour,” Siwon pleads, and although Yesung might appear uninterested, he’s a good hyung and he is always ready to help.
“Okay, go ahead, I’m listening.”
“Well, my cousin and his girlfriend are here, and they’re celebrating their 2nd anniversary. Maybe you could sing a song for them?” Siwon asks him, very hopeful.
“Okay,” he says. “What song and to whom should I dedicate it to?”
“To Ryeowook, from Kyuhyun,” Siwon replies.
Yesung wonders when he stopped singing for Ryeowook. When they were kids, they’d sing to each other almost all of the time. They’d sing love songs, children’s rhymes, noraebang hits, anything with a tune they’ll sing it together and sing it to each other. They were that close, but today is a different story. Even if he’s the one singing, he’s pretty sure that Ryeowook would not hear him speaking the words, but would hear Kyuhyun singing to her instead. He hums the song and then stops, finding himself listening to Jay rap the parts for the song he’s about to dedicate to Ryeowook. He can’t do this, he thinks, although he’s not sure why he can’t.
“Yesung?” Jungmo waves his right hand in front of him, breaking his train of thought.
“Huh? What is it?” he asks, surprised.
“Yunho just came in, we should be on.”
He scans the pub for a familiar face, but seeing as the lights were dimmed for mood lighting; it was a bit difficult for him to look for her.
“Are we ready yet?” he asks Jay , a bit pissed off that they’re taking too long to prepare on the stage. They can’t be given a spotlight unless they’re all done connecting and fine tuning the instruments.
“In a bit,” Jay responds as he does some last tuning of his guitar, in the background, Jungmo could be heard drumming out the starting beats on his snare.
The stage that was dimly lit slowly came to life with more spotlights illuminating it. Ryeowook’s eyes widen when she sees who’s onstage, hands reflexively pulling away from Kyuhyun’s which were currently holding hers tightly. She barely hears a “What’s wrong?” from Kyuhyun when Yesung starts to tap on his microphone.
Deeming the microphone functional, Yesung clears his throat and smiles at the blurry crowd below him. He mentally hits his head when he remembers that he forgot his glasses in the backstage and that he also didn’t have his contacts on. He’s yet to find Ryeowook in the crowd.
“Hi, good evening,” he says and cheers from regulars and his other workmates can be heard. “Isn’t it a nice night?” he asks them and they answer with a roaring yes. His eyes finally adjusted to the light and he can see more clearly now. Sweeping the crowd with his clearer vision, his eyes fall on a couple sitting by the last row. He squints a little, trying to see them better, there’s something familiar about this couple.
“So, this song that I’m going to sing is a song for a pretty girl,” he says, he’s looking at the couple at the last row. Something about them tells him that they’re the ones he should be singing for. And he’s right, because Siwon hoots and Yunho suddenly turns one of the spotlights towards them.
“Oh god, what’s this?” Ryeowook suddenly turns to Kyuhyun who was telling her to wave.
“It’s one of my gifts for you tonight,” Kyuhyun answers her as he kisses her on her cheek. She blushes, and with the crowd cheering and clapping for them she wishes that she can disappear. She’s not that used to all the attention on her, but she’s happy, she’s genuinely happy, she tells herself.
Yesung swallows the lump in his throat when he sees Kyuhyun kiss Ryeowook and hold her against him. He lets the crowd cheer for them so that he can compose himself. After a few seconds with the cheers dying down and the crowd starting to egg him into singing, he finally speaks.
“What a lovely couple those two are,” his eyes never leaving Ryeowook alone, but she doesn’t seem to notice since she’s so absorbed in Kyuhyun.
“This song is for Ryeowook-ssi.”
Ryeowook stops hitting Kyuhyun playfully and Kyuhyun rubs his sides, making a show of being in pain. She looks at Yesung and
she’s a bit startled to see him looking at her like that. She wants to look away, but her eyes don’t pay her any attention.
Yesung smiles, finally he’s caught her attention. He smiles at her, hoping that she’d feel his sincerity, but he’s not surprised when a look away was what was returned.
“I loved you then. I love you now. I will still love you,” Yesung says, feeling as if he was the one who’s talking to Ryeowook instead of Kyuhyun speaking through him. “We’ve only had two years,” he continues, and this time he feels disconnected to her as he watches Kyuhyun pull Ryeowook closer to him. “But it feels like forever, and I want to make us longer.”
He closes his eyes, wishing that he was the one who could say these words.
“You’re my endless love, Wookie-ah,” Yesung says, unaware that he just called her Wookie instead of Ryeowook. Nobody seemed to notice though, except for her. She looks away from Kyuhyun, who seems pleased at the words he’s hearing, and looks at Jongwoon, no, it was Yesung now.
Yesung opens his eyes and he’s a bit surprised to find Ryeowook staring at him now. But instead of holding her gaze, he is the one to look away first because he feels like he’s robbing Kyuhyun of their moment.
And then the intro of the song starts, and Yesung straightens up because now he’s singing for Ryeowook and he has no idea when he’ll sing to her again.
When she feels Kyuhyun’s arms around her, echoing the words that are currently coming out of Yesung, she looks away from the stage and pays attention to Kyuhyun instead. Ryeowook feels ashamed to be caught staring at Yesung intently, but in her defence, no nothing would defend her because she admits it herself, Yesung singing is attractive Yesung (and her mind mocks her by saying that Yesung is always attractive). In her mind, she thinks that what she’s doing is wrong, it’s not supposed to be this way. She should be singing this to Kyu, like what he’s doing to her. It’s one of their favourite songs, and this should only be between them; but now that Yesung’s singing it for her, she realizes how non-exclusive this song could be, because Yesung’s voice fits right in and if she wasn’t careful, it might be Yesung’s voice that she’d hear soon enough instead of Kyuhyun’s.
The band takes a break from singing, giving Yunho, the pub’s very own DJ, the floor for him to control. Couples and small groups littered the small dancefloor , swaying to Yunho’s beats as Yesung weaved in and through them to get to the dressing room where he left his things.
"Hey Yesung!” Jay calls him from the bar. He turns around to look at him questioningly. “Where are you going?”
“Home,” he sheepishly says as he brings a hand to the back of his head.
Jay stands up from his stool and strides over to him. “This early? It’s only 10 pm, we only did 2 hours.”
“I’ve got to turn in early, sorry,” he replies.
“Why? It’s not like we have requirements tomorrow right?” Jay asks him. “Can’t you at least stay for an hour more?”
“I can’t,” Yesung shakes his head. “Besides I’ve told Shindong just a minute ago and he said it’s okay. Heechul hyung will be here anyways so he can cover for me,” he shrugs.
Jay looks at him calculatingly and then sighs. “Fine then.”
“I’ll make it up to you guys, somehow. For now, I gotta run,” he says and with that he waves Jay away and pushes him towards the bar again.
When Yesung exits the pub, he doesn’t expect to see Ryewook standing outside without Kyuhyun. He stops, mentally debating with himself whether he should go approach her or not. In the end, he chickens out, it’s not like he has anything to say to her anyways. Should he come over and congratulate her on their anniversary? He could but he doesn’t want to, and frankly, since they’ve cut ties two years ago, he was pretty sure she wouldn’t care. He was about to turn around the corner of the pub when someone calls him.
“Yesung-ssi?” the voice was faint, but of course he knew who it was.
He turns around because he’s caught and he’s not about to burn another bridge between them. “Yes?” he asks her.
Kyuhyun told her that he had a surprise for her. She thinks it’s sweet but it’s honestly getting ridiculous. This night for her was full of surprises, and they were all pleasant, but she was uncomfortable with all the extravagance. Sometimes she wonders why Kyuhyun works so hard. It’s not that she doesn’t appreciate all his efforts and gifts, sometimes it was just too overwhelming for her.
She turns around, a bit impatient since she’s been waiting outside for Kyuhyun for almost 30 minutes now; and that’s when she sees Yesung about to turn at the corner.
“Yesung-ssi,” she calls for him, and she honestly has no idea why she would do that, but her feet are already moving towards him.
“Yes?” Yesung says and Ryeowook wonders where the singing and warm Yesung from hours ago disappeared to.
“I, I just wanted to thank you for singing that song,” she says with a slight smile. “For us,” she continues after a brief pause, just before the ‘For me,’ itched to come out.
“Oh, that,” Yesung says, not really sure what to say to her. “You’re welcome, I guess. Is there anything else?” he asks, he knows it’s rude but he really doesn’t want to hear her talk about them. When Ryeowook does not reply, Yesung shrugs and starts walking.
And then Ryeowook pulls on his hand, stopping him from going any further.
He turns around and looks at her.
“It’s Ryeowook-ssi, not Wookie-ah,” she says.
PART 2