NEW
Woot, I finally got that last post finished. It was sitting with great weight on my plate and I didn’t want to type anything else until it was completed. It was very difficult to type as one may imagine. I would get through about a paragraph and be at such a low that I would just quite everything and sleep or veg in front of television. But I am happy for my accomplishment.
That post caught my life up to about …. four weeks ago! It has been madness over the last month. I have spent a lot of time trying to catch up on what I missed while I was in Missouri. The first weekend (Saturday 8 Oct.) I came back I went to OUTober Fest at the Reid Park and had so much fun. I only meant to go for lunch. So I showed up at like 12:30 and wondered around a bit. Then I sat in front of the main stage and they just had performer after performer coming up and playing. It was so good. An afternoon just spent lying on a grassy hill listening to live music but a range of ok to amazing artists. I totally got hooked on this performer named Amber Nodgard that performed at 2:00. I ended up spending the afternoon on that hill. I would get up occasionally and go watch the hourly drag show and I went and talked to the folks at PFLAG but most of my time was spent on that hill. Stephanie and Coriann called and asked if they could come which I was so content I would have been ok with most things I might be opposed to. I just felt that it was sad that I had to go to the gay pride event with two straight women. And it works in my head so I don’t need you judgment. One thing that I got a huge thrill from was that the complete strangers around me thought that I was gay. It was there assumption. I feel like I don’t receive that opinion a lot but there it made me so comfortable. The only hiccup that day was I ran into a scout. It was a bit scary and awkward and I didn’t handle it well. I understand that he was there just as much as I but he is not an adult leader. I am. Still I was quite able to get over it. Then on Sunday I went to a gay parade. YAY! I dragged Stephanie with me and we just walked up and down Fourth Ave. and had super fun. Stephanie knew like every fifth person. I just know no one. We ran into Old Nick and that started a huge mental process or Brandon ness. He Stephanie a friend of his and me had like an hour and a half conversation on loin cloths and the possibility of under wires. It started a huge mental fawning for me but that is ok because it was a super fun time.
My time has become defined by weekends… happy. I just do a lot of work in the week. The next weekend I went to be gay again. I think it was just me chasseing the comfortable feeling I had of assumed sexuality. I went to the Rainbow Planed coffee house to see Amber Nodguard perform again. However this time she was in a 15’x20’ room with like five other people there. It was the most personal setting I have been in excluding the chamber groups that I usually perform in. It was amazing. And the tea was good and I have decided that my house will look like that café.
Then another week of even more madness happened. I spent half the time eating architecture work and the other planning my Gay day. I so started a count down 9 days prior. I spent a good deal of time, well like 15 minutes each day deciding on the font of the number I would draw. I made so much good food and was rather proud of what I pulled off. It was a little unfortunate that so many people were unable to come, but that is ok. I am so thrilled that the people that did show up were there. It was a good representation of the people that are important to my last year. This party was for them. So To-Da. The people I was upset that didn’t show up were Katie James and Callista. I was really hoping that Callista would have shown up because she is, for all important purposes, my family. But they have there twisted beliefs. And it is a good thing that they stand by them. I just don’t know that they realize that they understand how important they are to my sexuality. But I didn’t let that dampen my party. I got everyone hooked on “My West Hollywood Lifestyle Whatever” and that makes me happy. It over all was a good weekend. Besides gay day I went to a lesbian film festival on Friday that was hilarious. And on Saturday I went to the Arizona Symphony performance of “The Firebird” Stravinsky was a complete god. One day I will make a building as good as his music. They had grad students in the audience that recreated the riot that happened during “The Rite of Spring” while the orchestra was playing. It was so much fun.
The next week I finally built the courage to push the idea of asking Old Nick out and he assures me he is straight, which I kind of figured but many things had sparked little ideas in my mind. I am thrilled that I can now ask men out without the fear that I had a year ago. Then just this last Friday night I went to Coriann’s costume party as Captain Jack Sparrow and I think I did a very good job for thronging a costume together 5 hours prior to the party. And the party was way fun, but go figure I, the not in any way intoxicated individual, was the first mishap of the evening when Michel, Coriann’s boyfriend, knocked my glasses of the balcony and we could not find them. It was still good. My lack of sight made me look drunk like I should.
Ok I am caught up to present and now I can continue posting things as they actually happen. Life is better.
This Goodmorning has been on reserve, but it is here today and that makes it much more important.
That post caught my life up to about …. four weeks ago! It has been madness over the last month. I have spent a lot of time trying to catch up on what I missed while I was in Missouri. The first weekend (Saturday 8 Oct.) I came back I went to OUTober Fest at the Reid Park and had so much fun. I only meant to go for lunch. So I showed up at like 12:30 and wondered around a bit. Then I sat in front of the main stage and they just had performer after performer coming up and playing. It was so good. An afternoon just spent lying on a grassy hill listening to live music but a range of ok to amazing artists. I totally got hooked on this performer named Amber Nodgard that performed at 2:00. I ended up spending the afternoon on that hill. I would get up occasionally and go watch the hourly drag show and I went and talked to the folks at PFLAG but most of my time was spent on that hill. Stephanie and Coriann called and asked if they could come which I was so content I would have been ok with most things I might be opposed to. I just felt that it was sad that I had to go to the gay pride event with two straight women. And it works in my head so I don’t need you judgment. One thing that I got a huge thrill from was that the complete strangers around me thought that I was gay. It was there assumption. I feel like I don’t receive that opinion a lot but there it made me so comfortable. The only hiccup that day was I ran into a scout. It was a bit scary and awkward and I didn’t handle it well. I understand that he was there just as much as I but he is not an adult leader. I am. Still I was quite able to get over it. Then on Sunday I went to a gay parade. YAY! I dragged Stephanie with me and we just walked up and down Fourth Ave. and had super fun. Stephanie knew like every fifth person. I just know no one. We ran into Old Nick and that started a huge mental process or Brandon ness. He Stephanie a friend of his and me had like an hour and a half conversation on loin cloths and the possibility of under wires. It started a huge mental fawning for me but that is ok because it was a super fun time.
My time has become defined by weekends… happy. I just do a lot of work in the week. The next weekend I went to be gay again. I think it was just me chasseing the comfortable feeling I had of assumed sexuality. I went to the Rainbow Planed coffee house to see Amber Nodguard perform again. However this time she was in a 15’x20’ room with like five other people there. It was the most personal setting I have been in excluding the chamber groups that I usually perform in. It was amazing. And the tea was good and I have decided that my house will look like that café.
Then another week of even more madness happened. I spent half the time eating architecture work and the other planning my Gay day. I so started a count down 9 days prior. I spent a good deal of time, well like 15 minutes each day deciding on the font of the number I would draw. I made so much good food and was rather proud of what I pulled off. It was a little unfortunate that so many people were unable to come, but that is ok. I am so thrilled that the people that did show up were there. It was a good representation of the people that are important to my last year. This party was for them. So To-Da. The people I was upset that didn’t show up were Katie James and Callista. I was really hoping that Callista would have shown up because she is, for all important purposes, my family. But they have there twisted beliefs. And it is a good thing that they stand by them. I just don’t know that they realize that they understand how important they are to my sexuality. But I didn’t let that dampen my party. I got everyone hooked on “My West Hollywood Lifestyle Whatever” and that makes me happy. It over all was a good weekend. Besides gay day I went to a lesbian film festival on Friday that was hilarious. And on Saturday I went to the Arizona Symphony performance of “The Firebird” Stravinsky was a complete god. One day I will make a building as good as his music. They had grad students in the audience that recreated the riot that happened during “The Rite of Spring” while the orchestra was playing. It was so much fun.
The next week I finally built the courage to push the idea of asking Old Nick out and he assures me he is straight, which I kind of figured but many things had sparked little ideas in my mind. I am thrilled that I can now ask men out without the fear that I had a year ago. Then just this last Friday night I went to Coriann’s costume party as Captain Jack Sparrow and I think I did a very good job for thronging a costume together 5 hours prior to the party. And the party was way fun, but go figure I, the not in any way intoxicated individual, was the first mishap of the evening when Michel, Coriann’s boyfriend, knocked my glasses of the balcony and we could not find them. It was still good. My lack of sight made me look drunk like I should.
Ok I am caught up to present and now I can continue posting things as they actually happen. Life is better.
This Goodmorning has been on reserve, but it is here today and that makes it much more important.