sorry this entry is so long, i cant remeber how to do lj cuts

[pineapplepeach]

so today when i checked my mail i had a 7 page letter from my grandpa. it made me cry as i read the letter. he is so lonely and miserable and it just breaks my heart because im so far away and there isnt anything i can do to help him. he is couped up at dads house, he cant walk, cant go anywhere and he feels so helpless. his letter talked about how he has no one to talk to and how incredibly isolated he feels. its letters like these that make me so homesick, that make me wish i had stayed at home and did the right thing and continued to help him. but thats not want he wanted, or is it. how can i be here, living this great life when grandpa is back at home miserable...

One more kiss could be the best thing
Or one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And your not something I deserve

CHORUS
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
And you love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
And I know what I'm going through

CHORUS
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
And you love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go, let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside
I know, I know
But all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows, who knows

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go

(you don't know)
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
(you don't know)
You love me but you don't know who I am

(you don't know)
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
(you don't know)
You love me but you don't know me
i dont know what it is about this song...maybe its the mood im in right now. the other day jon said im too emotional, and he might be right. i mean simply reading grandpas letter made me cry, it was like i could feel how utterly alone he felt. i cry at movies or tv shows, even songs like this make me tear up. but who knows, maybe its just who i am, how ive grown up, and my past experiences. well i think if i dwell on this anymore i might start crying again, so im gonna go watch some law and order.