Contest Entry - Fanfic - "Why Saul Doesn't Have a Girlfriend" by starryskies
Title: Why Saul Doesn't Have a Girlfriend
Author: starryskies
Email: starryskies at livejournal dot com
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/characters used: Dale/Saul, Red
Notes: Inspired by the deleted scenes
Disclaimer: These aren't my characters, and none of this really happened.
So one day, he's eating brunch with Red. Red is talking about his wife in prison, how she's coming home soon, and Saul is nodding and stuff but really just thinking about how awesome and underrated brunch is, when Red says something so unexpected that Saul doesn't even hear it at first. "Well?" asks Red.
Saul laughs. "Sorry, man! I was totally thinking about brunch, my head was in the clouds. What'd you say?"
Red rolls his eyes, smiling. "Your head is always in the clouds, man, you're practically an astronaut! No, what I was saying was... when are you going to find yourself a girlfriend? A man has needs... I should know. Thank god for conjugal visits."
"Nah, man, I don't need a girlfriend," Saul replies, shrugging and smiling. "Besides, where would I meet any? Girls never buy from me."
"Hey Dale! Wait a second... how did you get in here?"
"The guy with the mohawk let me in again, I'm sorry, I should've said something to him."
Saul frowned, and then grinned. "It's okay! So what's up, man? Do you want a brownie? I made brownies."
Dale inspected the plate of somewhat burnt brownies. "Are these special brownies?"
"You know they are!"
Dale grabbed a brownie and took a huge bite. Chewing, he said, "Hey, whoa, this is good."
"What, you didn't think I could bake?"
Dale paused, and then replied, "No, not really."
Saul laughed, and a few crumbs of brownie flew out of his mouth. "Hey, I just got more Pineapple Express in."
"You know, a smarter man might say that Pineapple Express is bad luck, and therefore decline from buying any... but I am not a very smart man. Do I get a best fucking friends forever discount?"
Saul just shoved a baggie of weed at Dale, and then the two of them ate brownies and watched reruns of Oprah all afternoon.
"Yeah? So? Girls don't buy from me either, man. The world's bigger than just weed." Red gestures with a piece of bacon as he speaks. Saul bites it out of his hand, and Red glares at him.
"Well, okay, even so... girls never want to just, you know, come and hang out with me."
"Okay man, seriously, how are you out of weed already?"
"I'm not!" Dale exclaimed, pulling the baggie of weed out of his pocket and waving it in front of Saul. "See?"
"Oh." Saul's brows furrowed in confusion, and then he smiled. "So you're just here to hang out?"
Dale rolled his eyes affectionately. "Yes. But, you know, thank you for that."
"What are you smiling at?" asks Red, looking around.
Saul shrugs.
"Well anyway, you know, it is possible to meet girls outside of your place, with no drugs involved. I mean, you're a pretty attractive guy - you look like that guy from Spider-man, kinda. You just gotta get out there and do it!" He adds in a little punch for emphasis.
Saul shakes his head. "Nah, I have my Bubbie to take care of. Girls want all of the attention on them. They wouldn't like it if I had to rush out because Bubbie needed me or something. And I wouldn't want to date someone she didn't like."
Saul opened his door to find Dale on the other side of it, as usual. "Hey, sorry, I'm actually heading out."
"Oh? Where you going?"
"To see Bubbie. On Wednesdays, I come over and read to her." He held up a book - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. "I know, it's kinda lame but..."
Dale's eyes widened. "Dude, I totally love Harry Potter!"
Saul's eyes narrowed. "No need to make fun of me man, that's not nice..."
Dale shook his head frantically. "No, I really mean it! I mean, Prisoner of Azkaban isn't my favorite book, just because the Dementors are so fucking scary, but this is the book that introduces Sirius Black, so, you know. Not that... I mean... I won't spoil anything."
Saul laughed. "I've read all of them, no worries! Bubbie saw me all dressed up in costume for the release of Deathly Hallows, so she insisted I read the books to her too, so she could find out what all the fuss was about."
"Well, I don't want to intrude or anything, but... can I come? I mean, I have a wizard costume in my car..."
"Bubbie loves him," Saul murmurs to himself, smiling.
"What? Bubbie loves who?" asks Red.
"Oh... sorry. I guess I've got my head in the clouds again."
"You know, it's a good thing we're such good friends, because otherwise your actions might offend me."
"You are a good friend," Saul agrees. And he's right - Red is a good friend. Dale's a good - "Oh," Saul breathes. "Oh, shit. I have to run."
"Huh? Where you going? The check isn't even here yet."
Saul rummages around in his wallet. "I have to... go see Bubbie. I totally forget. I'm really sorry, man." He finds a twenty and puts it on the table. "Keep the change."
And so, he rushes out of the restaurant and rides his bike across town to Dale's apartment. He gets lost on the way, since he's been to Dale's place maybe twice, and then he lugs his bike up the steps because he doesn't want it to get stolen and Dale doesn't have an elevator - or even a buzzer at the door - and knocks. Dale doesn't answer for a moment, so Saul just keeps knocking. A minute later, the door opens. Dale looks like crap.
"Hey man," he says. "Have a good brunch with Red?"
Saul smiles a little. "Yeah, it was great. Why didn't you come?"
Dale points to his nose, which is red, and his eyes are puffy and he looks generally miserable. "I'm sick. Did you bring me waffles?"
"Well... no. I kinda rushed out of there to get over here."
"Dude, you should have totally--"
"It's just that I realized I'm in love with you and wanted to come over here and tell you as soon as I could." Saul says all of that in one breath, and once he's finished, he looks terrified.
"Really? What gave you that idea?"
"Well, Red was asking me why I don't have a girlfriend and then I started thinking about it and then I realized that you're like my girlfriend but way better, and--" They kiss. It's not exactly clear who initiates it, but there is definite kissing, and by kissing I mean making out.
"You're going to get sick too," Dale says when they break apart.
"Yeah, I probably will, but I thought that the whole running across town stuff was a pretty good idea, and then you have to end that with a kiss, so--" Dale shuts him up with another kiss.
Saul does get sick too, but it gives he and Dale excuses to stay in bed all day. Red comes by and brings them soup and medicine and stuff, because he is just that good of a friend. Dale and Saul, well, friends doesn't sound important enough for what they are. They're something else, something special.
Whatever it is that they are, it's not girlfriends. Saul doesn't need a girlfriend, he decides. He has a Dale, and that is way better.
Author: starryskies
Email: starryskies at livejournal dot com
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/characters used: Dale/Saul, Red
Notes: Inspired by the deleted scenes
Disclaimer: These aren't my characters, and none of this really happened.
So one day, he's eating brunch with Red. Red is talking about his wife in prison, how she's coming home soon, and Saul is nodding and stuff but really just thinking about how awesome and underrated brunch is, when Red says something so unexpected that Saul doesn't even hear it at first. "Well?" asks Red.
Saul laughs. "Sorry, man! I was totally thinking about brunch, my head was in the clouds. What'd you say?"
Red rolls his eyes, smiling. "Your head is always in the clouds, man, you're practically an astronaut! No, what I was saying was... when are you going to find yourself a girlfriend? A man has needs... I should know. Thank god for conjugal visits."
"Nah, man, I don't need a girlfriend," Saul replies, shrugging and smiling. "Besides, where would I meet any? Girls never buy from me."
"Hey Dale! Wait a second... how did you get in here?"
"The guy with the mohawk let me in again, I'm sorry, I should've said something to him."
Saul frowned, and then grinned. "It's okay! So what's up, man? Do you want a brownie? I made brownies."
Dale inspected the plate of somewhat burnt brownies. "Are these special brownies?"
"You know they are!"
Dale grabbed a brownie and took a huge bite. Chewing, he said, "Hey, whoa, this is good."
"What, you didn't think I could bake?"
Dale paused, and then replied, "No, not really."
Saul laughed, and a few crumbs of brownie flew out of his mouth. "Hey, I just got more Pineapple Express in."
"You know, a smarter man might say that Pineapple Express is bad luck, and therefore decline from buying any... but I am not a very smart man. Do I get a best fucking friends forever discount?"
Saul just shoved a baggie of weed at Dale, and then the two of them ate brownies and watched reruns of Oprah all afternoon.
"Yeah? So? Girls don't buy from me either, man. The world's bigger than just weed." Red gestures with a piece of bacon as he speaks. Saul bites it out of his hand, and Red glares at him.
"Well, okay, even so... girls never want to just, you know, come and hang out with me."
"Okay man, seriously, how are you out of weed already?"
"I'm not!" Dale exclaimed, pulling the baggie of weed out of his pocket and waving it in front of Saul. "See?"
"Oh." Saul's brows furrowed in confusion, and then he smiled. "So you're just here to hang out?"
Dale rolled his eyes affectionately. "Yes. But, you know, thank you for that."
"What are you smiling at?" asks Red, looking around.
Saul shrugs.
"Well anyway, you know, it is possible to meet girls outside of your place, with no drugs involved. I mean, you're a pretty attractive guy - you look like that guy from Spider-man, kinda. You just gotta get out there and do it!" He adds in a little punch for emphasis.
Saul shakes his head. "Nah, I have my Bubbie to take care of. Girls want all of the attention on them. They wouldn't like it if I had to rush out because Bubbie needed me or something. And I wouldn't want to date someone she didn't like."
Saul opened his door to find Dale on the other side of it, as usual. "Hey, sorry, I'm actually heading out."
"Oh? Where you going?"
"To see Bubbie. On Wednesdays, I come over and read to her." He held up a book - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. "I know, it's kinda lame but..."
Dale's eyes widened. "Dude, I totally love Harry Potter!"
Saul's eyes narrowed. "No need to make fun of me man, that's not nice..."
Dale shook his head frantically. "No, I really mean it! I mean, Prisoner of Azkaban isn't my favorite book, just because the Dementors are so fucking scary, but this is the book that introduces Sirius Black, so, you know. Not that... I mean... I won't spoil anything."
Saul laughed. "I've read all of them, no worries! Bubbie saw me all dressed up in costume for the release of Deathly Hallows, so she insisted I read the books to her too, so she could find out what all the fuss was about."
"Well, I don't want to intrude or anything, but... can I come? I mean, I have a wizard costume in my car..."
"Bubbie loves him," Saul murmurs to himself, smiling.
"What? Bubbie loves who?" asks Red.
"Oh... sorry. I guess I've got my head in the clouds again."
"You know, it's a good thing we're such good friends, because otherwise your actions might offend me."
"You are a good friend," Saul agrees. And he's right - Red is a good friend. Dale's a good - "Oh," Saul breathes. "Oh, shit. I have to run."
"Huh? Where you going? The check isn't even here yet."
Saul rummages around in his wallet. "I have to... go see Bubbie. I totally forget. I'm really sorry, man." He finds a twenty and puts it on the table. "Keep the change."
And so, he rushes out of the restaurant and rides his bike across town to Dale's apartment. He gets lost on the way, since he's been to Dale's place maybe twice, and then he lugs his bike up the steps because he doesn't want it to get stolen and Dale doesn't have an elevator - or even a buzzer at the door - and knocks. Dale doesn't answer for a moment, so Saul just keeps knocking. A minute later, the door opens. Dale looks like crap.
"Hey man," he says. "Have a good brunch with Red?"
Saul smiles a little. "Yeah, it was great. Why didn't you come?"
Dale points to his nose, which is red, and his eyes are puffy and he looks generally miserable. "I'm sick. Did you bring me waffles?"
"Well... no. I kinda rushed out of there to get over here."
"Dude, you should have totally--"
"It's just that I realized I'm in love with you and wanted to come over here and tell you as soon as I could." Saul says all of that in one breath, and once he's finished, he looks terrified.
"Really? What gave you that idea?"
"Well, Red was asking me why I don't have a girlfriend and then I started thinking about it and then I realized that you're like my girlfriend but way better, and--" They kiss. It's not exactly clear who initiates it, but there is definite kissing, and by kissing I mean making out.
"You're going to get sick too," Dale says when they break apart.
"Yeah, I probably will, but I thought that the whole running across town stuff was a pretty good idea, and then you have to end that with a kiss, so--" Dale shuts him up with another kiss.
Saul does get sick too, but it gives he and Dale excuses to stay in bed all day. Red comes by and brings them soup and medicine and stuff, because he is just that good of a friend. Dale and Saul, well, friends doesn't sound important enough for what they are. They're something else, something special.
Whatever it is that they are, it's not girlfriends. Saul doesn't need a girlfriend, he decides. He has a Dale, and that is way better.