Single in San Francisco
Bare with me... This is my first time on LiveJournal
I came to San Francisco for school and for freedom. It was all fun and games till I got TOO distracted by the city life. Going out almost every night, meeting new people which led to more events and parties. I couldn't resist and fell into a death trap. I thought it wasn't affecting me, but sooner rather than later everything came tumbling down: Money affairs out of control, totalled my car, lost my Iphone, slowing but surely lost my job, and the hardest part of it all was that I knew it was all my own fault which makes it THAT much worse.
In the midst of it all, I was getting all the attention in the world, making friends left and right. Not surprisingly all my friends were boys... It's always been that way, but you and I both know why they became my friends in the first place, which is a pretty sad concept, but that's just how it is. I've had a hand full of... adventures and experiences since April 1st 2009 when I moved here to say the least.
Boys, boys, boys... That's all I have to say about that....
I have experienced a wide variety of music since moving here and have grown to love it all... Especially one band in paticular... consisting of two boys... in which I met one via facebook. We ended up meeting in person this past weekend and I was blown away.
-Beautiful hazel/green eyes
-Adorable face, especially lips
-Manly/Satisfying activities ;)
-Artistically genius
-Silently Interesting at times
-Great style
-Down to earth (I even forgot that I am obsessed with his music)
-Dorky and funny :)))
I had an amazing weekend and now I don't what to think... I hate that I over think... I can't help but to count down the days till next weekend when he comes back to town... Will he call me first thing? Probably not...
Let's recap this... Boys... Got alot of them and they are all very handsome in their own ways, but none of them interest me enough to sacrafice my fine life of being single in San Francisco. Freedom. No jealousy issues. No HOLDING BACK in life.
It could easily be really complicated, but I won't let it. I care about all of these boys. I would rather keep them my friends forever than go out with them and then find out that they aren't not "IT" and never have fun with them again. If it was suppose to be there wouldn't be anything holding me back.
Now I find myself the one out of control of the situation... I hate not knowing what his thoughts are. Am I just a piece a meat or am I something special? How can you ever tell? You can't! Men are evolving!! I have had a run in before where I thought a boy really liked me, but I came to find out that he is basically just a closet romantic and that's "Just what he does". Why he kept me around constantly, I have no idea, he is a very handsome boy and can have many woman I'm sure BUT whatever that's neither here nor there... oh and thank god we didn't go any farther cuz that was the last thing I was ready for. I believe it was just because I had JUST got out of a 3 year relationship leading to marriage, so my mind and body were not in the right place yet to be thinking straight... eek.
So now I can never trust my own judgement and I can not tell what this hazel eyed musician is all about... or in other words, if he is all about me. It's upsetting to me that I am so infatuated with HIM. (Just him, not his music. Don't get me wrong though the music is amazing, but for my feelings sake, just him). How could I let myself fall for a boy?! It's only been two days!!
I feel like he is on the road to success and I am not "cool" enough or even at a hottness level that he could easily have soon. I mean he just signed a MAJOR LABEL DEAL WITH UNIVERSAL! MY GOD! HOW COOL IS HE?!?!?! Music, drugs. alcohol, and... women. Why would he pass all that up?! Why would he want an ordinary girl like me? I mean... Who am I kidding... Plus, he will be WAY too busy to fit a girl in his life. If he is smart this will go no where and I will just become a vague memory in San Francisco. Millionthly, he lives in LA... It wouldn't work... even though I have thought about how he could visit here cuz his parents live here or I could take $30 southwest flights to LA... Wow I'm a creep...
I wish I could easily convince myself that I am exaclty correct... That this is just a fun time... but small details of the weekend haunt me....
-When we met up he wanted to walk around the block to get to know each other rather than go with his friends into the house party...
-I found out through my friend chad that his friends gossiped say "She's hot! Good for him"
-All we did at the party was talk
-He was genuinly interested in getting to know ME
-He said pretty, beautiful, fine, funny, CUTE... cute is good right? For a girl?
-He wanted to hang out a second night... which was at his parents house and he left a cute note at the door for them,"Sleeping in room with girl :) -David" hahahaha
-He made sure to tell me he was coming back next weekend
-He gave me pretty route back to the freeway when I left. When I texted him "It is so pretty here! ", he wrote back
"lol yesss I will call you in a couple dayss
Beautiful", Looked just like that...
-But sometimes he would be so silent... awkwardly/shyish and I would wonder what he was thinking
-Like the creep I am... I checked the Capricorn(me) and Pices(him) compatability and it was pretty much... you'll last forever... fucking great thanks for getting my hopes up assholes... and even a step creepier I checked his monthly love horoscope... apparently he has a romantic ending to the month of August... fucking fantastic... now I get to ponder on that... COOL...
I am probly getting way too excited over nothing... just nice to get it all out...
Anyways, moral of the BEGINNING of the story, as everything was going WRONG I tried to keep positive and believe it was all happening for a reason... Hopefully I am right, so far I feel like I am. Now that I don't have a car I don't have car payments, insurance, or risk of more parking tickets (still paying off other ones ugh), I got a new job 2 days after I got fired (fuck the economy), I have more time for school :) This was basically what I wanted in a way... wow. The weekend before I got fired though I was deathly sick at my parents house in Santa Cruz and had a dream I saved a lady bug. I looked up the lady bug dream online and found GOOD LUCK! I was jusmping for joy to hear that news because before everything starting going wrong I had a bad luck dream and tried to pay no attention to it but... yea. So the following Tuesday I got fired... hmmm... BUT literally 5 minutes later I got a phone call from a salon that I wanted to work at for an interview. Friday morning I got hired! So taking horrible luck as a blessing in disguise will keep you alive, and love life. Even though everything was shit, I still LOVED life i swear it. So take this as freindly advice... love life and believe it all happens for a reason.
BE POSITIVE
(Unless your smitten by a boy. Don't expect much so that you don't get let down too much)
Have a good fucking night...
Raquel Catherine Toledo
P.S. Hopefully he won't some how miraculously find this... could you imagine? Good thing I don't have any friends yet ha. I'm pretty sure he won't but shit... you never know... EEK nerv-racking...
I came to San Francisco for school and for freedom. It was all fun and games till I got TOO distracted by the city life. Going out almost every night, meeting new people which led to more events and parties. I couldn't resist and fell into a death trap. I thought it wasn't affecting me, but sooner rather than later everything came tumbling down: Money affairs out of control, totalled my car, lost my Iphone, slowing but surely lost my job, and the hardest part of it all was that I knew it was all my own fault which makes it THAT much worse.
In the midst of it all, I was getting all the attention in the world, making friends left and right. Not surprisingly all my friends were boys... It's always been that way, but you and I both know why they became my friends in the first place, which is a pretty sad concept, but that's just how it is. I've had a hand full of... adventures and experiences since April 1st 2009 when I moved here to say the least.
Boys, boys, boys... That's all I have to say about that....
I have experienced a wide variety of music since moving here and have grown to love it all... Especially one band in paticular... consisting of two boys... in which I met one via facebook. We ended up meeting in person this past weekend and I was blown away.
-Beautiful hazel/green eyes
-Adorable face, especially lips
-Manly/Satisfying activities ;)
-Artistically genius
-Silently Interesting at times
-Great style
-Down to earth (I even forgot that I am obsessed with his music)
-Dorky and funny :)))
I had an amazing weekend and now I don't what to think... I hate that I over think... I can't help but to count down the days till next weekend when he comes back to town... Will he call me first thing? Probably not...
Let's recap this... Boys... Got alot of them and they are all very handsome in their own ways, but none of them interest me enough to sacrafice my fine life of being single in San Francisco. Freedom. No jealousy issues. No HOLDING BACK in life.
It could easily be really complicated, but I won't let it. I care about all of these boys. I would rather keep them my friends forever than go out with them and then find out that they aren't not "IT" and never have fun with them again. If it was suppose to be there wouldn't be anything holding me back.
Now I find myself the one out of control of the situation... I hate not knowing what his thoughts are. Am I just a piece a meat or am I something special? How can you ever tell? You can't! Men are evolving!! I have had a run in before where I thought a boy really liked me, but I came to find out that he is basically just a closet romantic and that's "Just what he does". Why he kept me around constantly, I have no idea, he is a very handsome boy and can have many woman I'm sure BUT whatever that's neither here nor there... oh and thank god we didn't go any farther cuz that was the last thing I was ready for. I believe it was just because I had JUST got out of a 3 year relationship leading to marriage, so my mind and body were not in the right place yet to be thinking straight... eek.
So now I can never trust my own judgement and I can not tell what this hazel eyed musician is all about... or in other words, if he is all about me. It's upsetting to me that I am so infatuated with HIM. (Just him, not his music. Don't get me wrong though the music is amazing, but for my feelings sake, just him). How could I let myself fall for a boy?! It's only been two days!!
I feel like he is on the road to success and I am not "cool" enough or even at a hottness level that he could easily have soon. I mean he just signed a MAJOR LABEL DEAL WITH UNIVERSAL! MY GOD! HOW COOL IS HE?!?!?! Music, drugs. alcohol, and... women. Why would he pass all that up?! Why would he want an ordinary girl like me? I mean... Who am I kidding... Plus, he will be WAY too busy to fit a girl in his life. If he is smart this will go no where and I will just become a vague memory in San Francisco. Millionthly, he lives in LA... It wouldn't work... even though I have thought about how he could visit here cuz his parents live here or I could take $30 southwest flights to LA... Wow I'm a creep...
I wish I could easily convince myself that I am exaclty correct... That this is just a fun time... but small details of the weekend haunt me....
-When we met up he wanted to walk around the block to get to know each other rather than go with his friends into the house party...
-I found out through my friend chad that his friends gossiped say "She's hot! Good for him"
-All we did at the party was talk
-He was genuinly interested in getting to know ME
-He said pretty, beautiful, fine, funny, CUTE... cute is good right? For a girl?
-He wanted to hang out a second night... which was at his parents house and he left a cute note at the door for them,"Sleeping in room with girl :) -David" hahahaha
-He made sure to tell me he was coming back next weekend
-He gave me pretty route back to the freeway when I left. When I texted him "It is so pretty here! ", he wrote back
"lol yesss I will call you in a couple dayss
Beautiful", Looked just like that...
-But sometimes he would be so silent... awkwardly/shyish and I would wonder what he was thinking
-Like the creep I am... I checked the Capricorn(me) and Pices(him) compatability and it was pretty much... you'll last forever... fucking great thanks for getting my hopes up assholes... and even a step creepier I checked his monthly love horoscope... apparently he has a romantic ending to the month of August... fucking fantastic... now I get to ponder on that... COOL...
I am probly getting way too excited over nothing... just nice to get it all out...
Anyways, moral of the BEGINNING of the story, as everything was going WRONG I tried to keep positive and believe it was all happening for a reason... Hopefully I am right, so far I feel like I am. Now that I don't have a car I don't have car payments, insurance, or risk of more parking tickets (still paying off other ones ugh), I got a new job 2 days after I got fired (fuck the economy), I have more time for school :) This was basically what I wanted in a way... wow. The weekend before I got fired though I was deathly sick at my parents house in Santa Cruz and had a dream I saved a lady bug. I looked up the lady bug dream online and found GOOD LUCK! I was jusmping for joy to hear that news because before everything starting going wrong I had a bad luck dream and tried to pay no attention to it but... yea. So the following Tuesday I got fired... hmmm... BUT literally 5 minutes later I got a phone call from a salon that I wanted to work at for an interview. Friday morning I got hired! So taking horrible luck as a blessing in disguise will keep you alive, and love life. Even though everything was shit, I still LOVED life i swear it. So take this as freindly advice... love life and believe it all happens for a reason.
BE POSITIVE
(Unless your smitten by a boy. Don't expect much so that you don't get let down too much)
Have a good fucking night...
Raquel Catherine Toledo
P.S. Hopefully he won't some how miraculously find this... could you imagine? Good thing I don't have any friends yet ha. I'm pretty sure he won't but shit... you never know... EEK nerv-racking...