Dec 09, 2006 21:26
Wow. The paper crunch this time is hitting me harder than usual, probably because I've changed programs, disciplines, and damned near everything else that was familiar about my comfy little life. Oh, and we're on the semester system, so I get to do 150% of the work I'm used to doing.
But it still seems like I might be feeling it a lot more than all those would imply - I found myself thinking that maybe academia isn't really what I'm cut out for, if I can't think of good projects to write about. I think more than anything I might just need to feel like I'm actually productive somehow, that what I'm busying myself with has tangible effects on the world. Maybe I need to get some plants for out here, so there's something concrete? Or start tutoring or doing something on the side, like actually making music and art to show people instead of just as recreation? Maybe I'm just extremely used to teaching a comp class, and now that I'm not I feel like I'm just not relevant to the world at large?
How do the rest of you (most of whom are fellow academicians who care about the "world at large") handle the weird position that we put ourselves in, talking about effects but not always feeling like we make tangible ones ourselves? I'm actually kinda at a loss for ideas at the moment, so I could use your input, folks... when you're all done with paper writing and grading, of course! To quote Le Tigre, "get off the internet!"
wtf?,
moving,
big thoughts,
rochester