I can't walk away, because then you'll be gone
You tell me that I am the main reason you're falling apart, that I am the cure to your insanity. That if I just change how I feel and come running back to you that everything will heal itself. You turn to powder to numb your mind, body and soul... I love you so much but not in the way you need or want me to. I have no way of changing that. You're killing yourself slowly and making me watch. Sick, twisted and satisfactory to you. I can't walk away... because then you'll be gone, completely.
You're the only one in control of your own life and world, somewhere down the line you bestowed this power unto me but I wasn't aware. In the beginning of our friendship/relationship I saved you then... I thought it was a glorious thing and that we would be together forever having that bond... But in the end I was killing myself slowly. Now we've switched seats. You've been through tragedy and sorrow and if I had the power you know I would take it all away from you. But I have no powers at all.
To be your friend and care for you is all I have left, and that just isn't enough. You escape into your bottles, liquid, powder and pill form. Just for that glimpse of numbness that makes you believe you'll be ok. It will never end, you are the only one who can stop this madness. I promised and swore to you time and time again that I would never walk away from you or leave you completely... but you're leaving me with no choice. Every message I get from you now is full of resentment and anger towards me, with a twist of how much you "love" me. You're holding on to me like I'm all you have left, and by doing this you're blinding yourself to the real world and whats really out there. If I leave your life, maybe the blinders will be lifted... give you the freedom to let me go and see what you truly have.
My biggest fear is me walking away and you leaving this world. I can't go through that again, to have someone so important to me ripped from this world by their own hands and actions... Those emotions of going through that sort of loss is nothing I would wish upon my worst enemy. I've been through it times before and I don't think I'm strong enough to survive it all over again.
What do I do? Sit here and watch you fall apart into a trillion peices of lost, broken hearted, soulless mess... or walk away with only the smallest chance of you pulling yourself together... You tell me I'm the only one who can pull you together, but its not the truth. You have all the power, control and self decision of becoming yourself again. Growing back into the person who once dwelled in your heart... I'm falling apart internally with you and you don't even notice, every word you say or thing you do, you're slowly ripping me apart... I feel selfish, I feel like a worthless peice of shit for wishing I could just runaway from it all, never knowing what the outcome could be... Fight or flight right? Well I've been fighting for so long that I don't think I have anymore strength left in me...
If I've run out of strength and you are running on empty, where does that leave us?
You're the only one in control of your own life and world, somewhere down the line you bestowed this power unto me but I wasn't aware. In the beginning of our friendship/relationship I saved you then... I thought it was a glorious thing and that we would be together forever having that bond... But in the end I was killing myself slowly. Now we've switched seats. You've been through tragedy and sorrow and if I had the power you know I would take it all away from you. But I have no powers at all.
To be your friend and care for you is all I have left, and that just isn't enough. You escape into your bottles, liquid, powder and pill form. Just for that glimpse of numbness that makes you believe you'll be ok. It will never end, you are the only one who can stop this madness. I promised and swore to you time and time again that I would never walk away from you or leave you completely... but you're leaving me with no choice. Every message I get from you now is full of resentment and anger towards me, with a twist of how much you "love" me. You're holding on to me like I'm all you have left, and by doing this you're blinding yourself to the real world and whats really out there. If I leave your life, maybe the blinders will be lifted... give you the freedom to let me go and see what you truly have.
My biggest fear is me walking away and you leaving this world. I can't go through that again, to have someone so important to me ripped from this world by their own hands and actions... Those emotions of going through that sort of loss is nothing I would wish upon my worst enemy. I've been through it times before and I don't think I'm strong enough to survive it all over again.
What do I do? Sit here and watch you fall apart into a trillion peices of lost, broken hearted, soulless mess... or walk away with only the smallest chance of you pulling yourself together... You tell me I'm the only one who can pull you together, but its not the truth. You have all the power, control and self decision of becoming yourself again. Growing back into the person who once dwelled in your heart... I'm falling apart internally with you and you don't even notice, every word you say or thing you do, you're slowly ripping me apart... I feel selfish, I feel like a worthless peice of shit for wishing I could just runaway from it all, never knowing what the outcome could be... Fight or flight right? Well I've been fighting for so long that I don't think I have anymore strength left in me...
If I've run out of strength and you are running on empty, where does that leave us?