I guess an update is in store.: pinaloca13

pinaloca13

I guess an update is in store.

Dec 02, 2006 17:12

so I think that an update is in order.
I've been dating ashley for 2 months now.
I'm happy, I never thought things would be this good, and I don't think anyone else had faith either...
But everything IS good.
Some communication problems here and there but we are working on it.

I've been so weird lately, partly because of being sick with the stupid winter flu or whatever it is, but my body is just not doing well. Because of the lack of nutrients, vitamins and minerals I'm losing my hair, it's a very sensitive subject for me, I love my hair, and it's all just falling out, I feel like I have cancer. I really DON'T appreciate it. I asked ashley if she'd still want to be with me if I were bald, she replied with, "If you go bald babe I'll shave my head. We can be twins" It made me smile.
My other half has returned from rehab and it makes me so incredibly happy. I missed him so much, I'm just hoping that those that he calls friends realize that some things that they do put him at risk whether they realize it or not.

I went to the Atreyu show a while ago. I felt so old, I took my little sister who is 14, but to me she is practically 20 like me, she's been through so much that I don't see her as a 14 y/o. But everyone else and their mother was there all under the age of 18.
I wanted to stab my self in the eye.

Work is well, work.
The 2 hour bus ride to work is truly wearing on me, I feel like I'm working a 13 hour shift because I have to get up at 8am to be at work at noon. Then work until 11pm and get home at midnight. It's just tearing me down. I have tried to find a job located closer to me, but part of me wants to stay at ACS. Mostly for Ashley and the friends that I've made over the past 14 months that I've worked there. They are priceless and if I were to get a new job I know I would never get to see them.

I miss my outside of work friends. I do the same thing every week. Work....work...and some more work...spend time with ashley when we BOTH have time (aka thursdays and possibly sundays) and try and spend time with my mother cause if I don't she'll go balistic and also spend time with my roommate which it feels like we never get to. There are few that are able to work with me around my schedule such as sara and christine and I am so greatful for that. I look forward to getting to see them practically every saturday.
I <3 them.

My mom is getting on my nerves.
But then again, she always does.
She calls me 20 times a day and then yells at me for not answering because I'm trying to spend time with my gf.
1/2 the time she is calling me to tell me about something "cute" one of the cats did.
I love my mother and I love her cats, but I don't need to know EVERYTIME they do something "cute"
She hung up on me the other day for turning my phone off while I was at ashleys. She then proceeded to try and guilt me and say that nothing she ever does matter and why don't I ever turn my phones off when I'm with her and she shouldn't have to ask me to turn my phones off, etc, etc, etc. I just said forget it and good night and hung up on HER instead. I think that she is jealous that I try and spend so much time with ashley, but she needs to understand that I am building a relationship with ashley, she is my mother we will always have a relationship and we will always be here for eachother, but I just don't think she realizes that I'm not 12 anymore.

I think one my new years resolutions, OTHER then going to the doctor and finding out how to NOT lose my hair is going to be to make a 5 year plan.
I need to plan for the future and stop living day to day, month to month. Because I'm 20, almost 21 and shit is going by fast. Next time I realize it, I'll be 40 and not even know what happened with my life.

I've accomplished nothing so far, which brings me down in a great sense.
I have friends and family that love me, but what have I DONE...
Absolutely nothing.
Survived, thats about it.

I'm not even sure it's worth it.
I should just say fuck everything when my lease is up, pack a back pack and go hitchhiking all over the place, of course while weilding a large knife in my pocket, just in case.
haha.
Yea right, that will never happen. I'm too much of a vagina.
I'm going to go smoke a cigarette(another new years resolution...to QUIT smoking) and then attempt to clean my room, or atleast the litter box, because it smells like HELL.
I'll be back at some point to update.

<3
Shawnta`