things i fuckin hate
- can't sleep. been trying for hours. trying to go to bed early like the psych. said. she was right, it takes ages.
- pissed. pissed at friends who are good for nothing, even just being there, pissed that they changed or moved or don't give a shit. pissed at the omaha scene, just drunk people trying to get laid & parties. which, individually, i don't hate, but when that's all there is, i hate it.
- can't drink due to antidepressants. like, not ONE drink, just NONE AT ALL. which means parties & drunk people instantly went from fun to obnoxious. not that i'm seeing either one anyhow.
- tomorrow i have to get up to "work" for my dad, go to a therapy appointment
SIDENOTE
i have become increasingly doubtful of my therapist. last week she told me to "take pictures of my cats" and i wanted to slap her and scream "THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT MY FUCKING MOTHER WOULD SAY".
i mean, pictures of cats? are you fucking kidding me?
here's a picture:
I tried to give Raquel Zimmerman (model/goddess in that photo) most of the frame but idk if it worked. yeah, i look like it's midnight, i'm not happy, and tired.
to wit, i feel like an old woman just waiting to die. everyday is just plodding along. i just want someone to talk to, and i don't know if that person exists, or just doesn't want to show themselves yet. I'm 22 but i feel like my life is already over & i'm going to be here, in this headspace, forever. I have no idea what to do.
- pissed. pissed at friends who are good for nothing, even just being there, pissed that they changed or moved or don't give a shit. pissed at the omaha scene, just drunk people trying to get laid & parties. which, individually, i don't hate, but when that's all there is, i hate it.
- can't drink due to antidepressants. like, not ONE drink, just NONE AT ALL. which means parties & drunk people instantly went from fun to obnoxious. not that i'm seeing either one anyhow.
- tomorrow i have to get up to "work" for my dad, go to a therapy appointment
SIDENOTE
i have become increasingly doubtful of my therapist. last week she told me to "take pictures of my cats" and i wanted to slap her and scream "THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT MY FUCKING MOTHER WOULD SAY".
i mean, pictures of cats? are you fucking kidding me?
here's a picture:
I tried to give Raquel Zimmerman (model/goddess in that photo) most of the frame but idk if it worked. yeah, i look like it's midnight, i'm not happy, and tired.
to wit, i feel like an old woman just waiting to die. everyday is just plodding along. i just want someone to talk to, and i don't know if that person exists, or just doesn't want to show themselves yet. I'm 22 but i feel like my life is already over & i'm going to be here, in this headspace, forever. I have no idea what to do.